Human Instincts
by oathkeeper512
Summary: A girl named Teya is thrown from the busy town of London into the exciting world of Gaia. After she get's a job at Shin-ra, a rather lustful red head starts to chase her down! RenoXOC Please Review. Rating has been changed for language.
1. Arrival

**The room beyond was lit dimly, the crimson curtains shut tight and only three candles to bring any source of light into the tiny area. it's false orange glare stinging my eyes as they adjusted. The leather sofa that was washed in burgundy sat silently shining in what little light there was, waiting for me. Certificates hung on the old, red, faded walls. Their writing was wearing away like it had been burnt off. As I stepped into the blood red room I noticed a large, oak desk that had papers neatly organised sitting upon it with a gold banner to finish the desk off in front of them. "Dr Jonathon Stewart" was printed in large, black letters along the banner. I smiled slightly as the man that was sat behind the desk looked up at me with curious eyes. He ran a hand through his short brown hair and fiddled with his thin glasses that were pushed far to high along his nose "you must be Miss Barlow?" he questioned, his voice deep and caring. That didn't surprise me when I took into account what he did for a living. I nodded in response slightly whilst staring at a small plant that stood happily on a bookshelf in a corner of the room, he stood politely and gestured for me to sit on the leather couch. His black and white striped suit stood out amongst the rest of the room, along with his cream tie "I prefer standing" I replied quietly, the man sighed slightly "very well. I'm Dr Jonathon Stewart" he finished, holding out a hand **

"**I guessed" I mumbled, ignoring his hand. I had no intention of staying here for very long, he would soon get the picture and let me leave. Dr Stewart sat back down behind his desk, looking slightly uncomfortable as I leant up against a wall "so, Miss Barlow, what can I do for you?" **

"**Don't call me that" I snapped quietly, that was a name I'd prefer to leave behind. Dr Stewarts head flinched back slightly "brings back…just call me Teya" **

"**Fine" he replied, tightening his tie slightly. It was obvious he was uncomfortable but that was common around me "Teya, what can I do for you?" he asked shakily, I scoffed **

"…**you can show me the door. You need to be more specific Doc'" I replied, what was I doing here? Dr Stewart sighed frustratingly, I liked getting people wound up. It was something I was good at and also, something I enjoyed "Well…what seems to be the problem?" **

"…**.that's what your supposed to find out isn't it?" I pondered aloud, Dr Stewart rolled his eyes with a smile. I was surprised how he kept his composure, any normal person would have blown their top by now "Teya, I need you to tell me what's wrong exactly" **

"_**But that's a secret" **_

"**But that's a secret" I finished, staring at the red carpet intently. The papers that were on his desk were suddenly disturbed by Dr Stewarts hands as he lifted them up and flicked through them, obviously skim reading "it says here you… disappeared for two years!" he began, I closed my eyes as I thought about his words, they entered my head like knives, they stung "your parents organised this meeting with me, you have a mutation of the blood and you are currently unemployed. Is that correct?" **

"**What does my health and my current job situation have to do with anything?" **

"**Teya, I'm a therapist. I need to take all factors into account"**

"**Pointless factors" I mumbled, my eyes opening as I spoke. Dr Stewart folded his arms and sat back in his large leather chair "why don't we start from the beginning? How was your childhood?" he asked cautiously, I chuckled slightly before bursting out into a fit of false laughter "you don't need to start from the beginning. My life was fine until…" **

"_**Stop!"**_

"**Until?" he pressed, I chose my words carefully **

"_**He'll think you're a fool. He'll think your crazy! Deal with your emotions yourself! Bottle it up! Never let anyone in! No one will understand…except me" **_

"**You would…think I was…crazy if I told you" I blurted out honestly, now it was Dr Stewarts turn to laugh "Teya, I have been doing this job for just over ten years. I've seen my fair share of nutters come in and out of here" he chuckled, I believed him, he wasn't lying, you could always tell. I stayed silent, my hands in my pockets and my eyes drooping slightly due to lack of sleep. Nightmares had been haunting me recently, about the same thing…over…and over again "I know where my life went wrong…I can sort it out myself" I replied, pushing myself off of the wall and heading towards the door **

"_**Good girl" **_

"**Your parents don't seem to think that" Dr Stewart yelled at my back, I stopped in my tracks and looked briefly over my shoulder "Teya, let me help you"**

"_**No! Don't let him help you! He'll never understand! No one can help you. You have to live with what you've done" **_

"**Can I ask you a question?" I muttered, still not looking directly at him**

"**I suppose…"**

"**Why do you do what you do? Why do you want to help me? Is it because it's your job? Or is it because you generally care?" **

"**A bit of both if I were to be honest" he replied quickly, another pause.**

"_**He's lying"**_**. I hadn't been able to trust anyone since I had come home…why should he be any different? But still…I turned on me heel quickly and looked at him directly "I feel like a fool Doc'"**

"_**And so you should"**_

"**Why?" he asked, I shrugged. Ever since…the first time I ever…I felt the weight…and it wont leave me "When I got back, I didn't tell anyone…not a soul" I replied, placing a hand on my stomach carefully. Dr Stewart shuffled through a few papers again "you were found in an alleyway, bleeding from a bullet… wound" he muttered, his eyes locked on where my hand was placed. My head nodded in response "I don't really…remember that part. I blacked out" **

"**Why doesn't that surprise me?" he asked sarcastically **

"**Everything went wrong when I…left" I began, removing my hand from my stomach **

"**You mean when you disappeared?" Dr Stewart corrected **

"**Same thing", Dr Stewart leant forward **

"**Teya, walk me through it. What happened to you in those two years?" he asked curiously, I stared at him hesitantly. Should I tell him? Should I pour my heart and soul out to him or live with this pain…live with my sin? "If I tell you…will you take the pain away?" I asked childishly, Dr Stewart tilted his head to the side slightly "the pain?"**

"**My sin" I whispered**

"_**Stupid girl! Leave! You have sinned and you will pay!" **_

"**I'll do whatever I can Teya. Now start from the beginning, start from the day you disappeared" he stated softly. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair "well…".**

Belleville Secondary School. My second home practically. The rusty windows, grey brick and all of the history that was held within it. I had attended this school for 7 years now; it was my last year and my last week. Everyone was excited about leaving and starting their lives and fulfilling their ambitions, but not me. I was devastated about leaving this school; I had so many memories here. Me, my friends, teachers, desks and a whole load of books. Some people called me crazy for liking school so much and in a way that was understandable but school was where I belonged. I enjoyed learning…to a certain extent anyway.

The weather was drizzly as usual, not really a big surprise. That's what you get when you come to England, lots and lots of rain. Although I wasn't exactly a sunny person, I preferred the dark. My favourite time of the year was winter, when it was pitch black outside and you would come into school to find everyone soaking wet along with yourself, and the teacher would have the lights turned on in the classroom because it was so dark outside, the contrast to the pale, fake light being emitted from the bulbs to the pure darkness was beautiful. It made it look more "homey" in my opinion. You could say I was the type of person that looked beyond what people see, and see something for what it truly is, sometimes it's a bad thing but mostly, it helps me steer clear of people that need to be avoided shall we say.

Jessie was in high spirits as per usual. She had an earphone in one ear and carrying some heavy looking German books whilst tapping her foot to the song that she was listening to. Jessie was my best friend; she had been since the first time we met (which was 7 years ago). She flicked her long black hair around her shoulders and smiled at me. Her green eyes glistening "good morning Teya", I smiled. That was me…Teya Barlow. Just a normal girl from London trying to make her way in the world. It was weird, you saw stuff on T.V thinking that if anything unusual was going to happen, like an alien invasion or something, it would happen in London but it wasn't like that…

Jessie was wearing her gothic stuff as always. But this time, she was wearing a bit of red which was unusual. Her tights were red and black striped and she was wearing a mini skirt made of black denim. The most striking thing of all though, was her top. Never have I ever seen Jessie wear a red and black top with glitter on! "Jessie" I ask steadily "what's with the clothes?" she cocked her head to one side

"You know I'm a Goth"

"Yeah, but…red is a bit…colourful, isn't it?" she laughed with a shocked look on her face

"You would make a really bad Goth, you know that right?" I nodded "good"

"So, why haven't you worn red before?" I asked tactfully

"I have its just, well…"

"Everything else in the laundry?" I offered

"Yeah" she admitted. I knew it was too good to be true, Jessie hated red

"Right, that makes more sense" I chuckled "so, what's on the agenda for today?", Jessie cleared her throat and took a show host stance "well, first on Belleville Secondary news. A lecture from Mr Willis on neurology, then another lecture on trigonometry"., I laughed. Jessie had always been too happy to be a Goth, I had always thought it was just a phase she was going threw but eventually I became aware that it wasn't that she had an emotional problem like most people would assume, it was that she loved the clothes. That was Jessie for you.

I guess the first lecture wasn't that bad, after all, I knew everything there was to know about neurology but unfortunately, Jessie wasn't as up to date as me so I spent most nights at her apartment helping her out with AS work. Jessie was hopeless, what she would ever do without me I did not know, just as if she had read my thoughts she spoke "you know, I don't know what I'd do without you Teya"

"Oh shut up, your getting all soft y'know" I chuckled, Jessie's expression stayed serious

"I mean it Teya" she said sternly, ignoring the playful look I had on my face "you know that right?". I sighed, trying to move the conversation away from the whole "you're my best friend ever" idea had obviously not worked. My eyes glanced into her dark ones and my head nodded slowly "yeah I know" escaped my mouth, this pleased Jessie. A smile appeared on her face, it made her glow. I loved it when Jessie was happy, it made me share the feeling. Normally Jessie would be depressed as hell, using vulgar language in every sentence and when she yelled at people…oh boy did _they_ get it in the neck.

Jessie's smile went from warm to sly in a matter of seconds, I cocked my head to the side as her eyes glanced behind my head and into the distance. A low chuckle emitted from her throat and I followed her gaze, spinning on my heel as I did. That's when I realised what Jessie was grinning about. _Him. _Jack Lewis, the centre guy of the school. Every single girl in the school was totally in love with him (well apart from Jessie) and unfortunately I was one of them. If you looked up the term "tall, dark and handsome" in the dictionary you'd see his name under it. Now normally I would tell myself _"just because he's absolutely gorgeous does _not_ mean that he has a wonderful personality" _in these situations and I did, so I went with my gut feeling and forced myself to believe that he was just some stupid, attention seeking, make-fun-of-when-your-backs-turned kind of guy. That's what I thought at first. I thought that until about three years ago when I was put into a pair with him for science. My automatic impression was that he would do no work and mess around with his friends. Oh how wrong I was. He was the complete opposite. Not only did he actually work but he talked to me about regular stuff like music, movies and …stereo types for some unknown reason. He was a regular person, not an uptight git who would embarrass me in front everybody in the room. I liked that about him. He was sweet and funny. Perfect in a way. But the more I thought about it, the more he became _irritatingly_ perfect. I hated it when other girls just threw themselves at him, it drove me crazy…and I know it shouldn't have. It was stupid of me to think it would ever happen. He deserved better than me.

As he walked past he glanced at me, shifting the bag that was slung over his shoulder, he smiled at me and my heart skipped a beat. I looked at him as he walked off my mouth opening wider and wider by the second before I suddenly felt a large push against my cheek…then a stinging sensation…then numbness. Jessie had slapped me. I rubbed my red cheek gently and nodded at her gratefully "yeah, thanks I need that"

"Come on! He looks like a mop!" she yelled. There was a pause before I burst out into a fit of laughter.

A crowd walked past us and we overheard them talking "yeah, did you hear? That Sarah girl is pregnant" said one girl

"No way!" said another, some of the boys in the group were laughing and making jokes saying that they were the father. I shook my head knowing that this was impossible but Jessie had her mouth dropped "Sarah's pregnant?!" she exclaimed

"No" I replied "do you honestly believe that she is dumb enough to get pregnant just before her exams" I concluded

"Yeah, but how can you be sure" she said, I turned to her and raised my eyebrow. What if she was pregnant? She had been my friend since I started my school life and I was not going to let her fall from the top "let's go!" I yelled and sprinted towards the common room.

The common room was full. The red sofa's were filled with studying students and texts books. Some people were making coffee as an excuse to get out of homework and "accidentally" getting into an important conversation with their best friend. I should know, I have been there. Jessie and I were panting loudly and people started to stare "what the hell is wrong with you two?" asked John, who was standing with slight concern over Jessie. I sighed, what's new? Jessie shook it off "where's Sarah?" she demanded, John was taken back but pointed slowly towards the back room "thanks" she replied whilst jogging past him. I smiled and followed.

Sarah was sat in the back room with tears running down her face "Sarah?" Jessie asked quietly

"What?!" she snapped

"Are you ok?"

"No! Do I look ok to you?" she moaned, I glared

"We're just trying to help Sarah" I replied

"What the fuck could you do? I'm the talk of the fucking school!"

"Ok, first thing's first. Are you pregnant?"

"No!"

"Are you?" I pressed, she stared at me sharply

"Do you honestly think I'm that stupid?"

"No. But guy's are!" shouted Jessie "now stop being a bitch and let us help!" . Sarah put her head in her hands "I'm sorry, I've never been embarrassed like this before", I sighed and walked over to her. She wouldn't looked up and me so I crouched down to her level and put my arm around her "It's going to be ok Sarah", she sniffed. I had never seen Sarah like this before, she looked a wreck. Her blonde hair was supposed to be long and flowing with kinks in it and different points, instead it was tied up in a ponytail and all of her original black hair was visible at the roots. Her tear-stained face was make-up free and all the years of wearing foundation had left some nasty blotches on her face and her clothes were just a simple jumper and jeans. It wouldn't take a genius to work out that she's not ok. I tried to think of something supportive "It'll be ok, I mean it's not as if your gonna be the talk of the school forever, just try to ignore it", she lifted her head up and wiped a tear from her eye

"You think so?", I looked at Jessie for encouragement, so she walked over and crouched down like me

"Well, you know I'm not good at this stuff but Teya's right, everyone's just going to forget about it"

"What are they actually saying?" she sobbed

"I think they're just guessing the father" I replied, Jessie nodded

"Wonderful" Sarah sighed , I grinned

"Come on, lets go and get you cleaned up yeah?", she nodded.

By the time we had straitened Sarah's hair, done her make up and given her clothes a bit of flare, it was time for our first lesson.

Mr Willis was sitting in his large brown chair with his glasses perched on the end of his nose as usual. We often wondered if he ever changed since he always seemed to wear a brown suit with a red tie.

The class was full and we made our way to our seats' . Mr Willis gave us a disapproving look "late are we girls?"

"Sorry sir, we had a little diversion to attend to" replied Jessie politely as she could

"Don't let it happen again!" he said sternly "take you seats and get your books out". I sighed and opened my brown satchel and pulled out a green book with a pen "ok, now lets start with another talk on Huntington's Disease", we all silently groaned "now, as you can see for this slide, Huntington's affects movements in the body an-", my mind wondered away from Mr Willis's flat voice. Instead of listening to something I had heard 100 times, I stared out the window and into the glistening fields of the campus. The old oak tree that had stood on these grounds since the school had been built over 80 years ago was surrounded by the remains of autumn. Students carrying heavy books were walking around on the pavement that broke off into quarters around the oak tree, only in twos. I sighed as I wished I could be out there with them, I flinched when I heard Jessie hiss at me "you ok?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You looked lost in your own world there" she frowned, I shrugged it off. I had been doing that a lot lately, just looking for an escape really, just a way out of my exams and the pressure. I had always wished for my world to disappear and be replaced with a new one, be replaced with what I've always wanted. But that was never going to happen, no matter how much I tried to change it, nothing would seem to work. My idea of a perfect world would be one were nobody fights, nobody is hungry, no wars. Just people being happy and friendly towards each other, I chuckled, when pigs fly I thought. That was the ultimate idea wasn't it? A perfect world. Eventually I had learnt that there would always be somebody out there who felt the stab of hate in their heart, the sickness of jealousy running in their veins and the anger they held for the world, a force around them.

Mr Willis was beginning to come to the end of his lecture when suddenly the phone on his desk started to ring, he turned abruptly to it and picked it up slowly "hello?" he asked sounding surprised "right, ok. I'm on my way", he put the phone on the receiver and turned to us "sorry class, I'm afraid I have something to deal with" he breathed

"Yeah, your sanity" whispered Jessie, I snickered

"Please leave within the next five minutes", he strolled out the door and everyone turned to talk as soon as he was out of sight "so, what are you doing this week end Teya?" asked Sarah

"Nothing much, maybe I'll go in town or something", she nodded in agreement

"Say 10 ish on Saturday?"

"Yeah, Jessie you coming in?" I asked, she looked up from her nails and smiled

"Ok, but I have to get a birthday card for my mum"

"Sure" I grinned. Sarah pouted "what's wrong?"

"I need to get a dress", Jessie stiffened

"Why?" I asked suspiciously

"Oh, y'know, just that I'm going out on Saturday night" , I smiled but still wondered why Jessie was still stiff "cool. Where you going?"

"That new restaurant in town, Lacey's?", I nodded. Lacey's was a new hangout/ restaurant that was directed at young adults "we were wondering if you wanted to come?" finally asked Jessie. I raised my eyebrow, something was up "I'll go" I said with a slight smirk. Jessie and Sarah grinned insanely at each other "alright, what's going on?" I asked, their grins disappeared and they stared at me

"Nothing" stated Sarah

"There's something going on" I protested

"No there isn't" exclaimed Jessie "now come on, lets get out of here before any teachers come". I turned my head only to find that everyone was gone "shit!" I muttered.

The trigonometry lecture went past quickly, funny, I hated maths . I suppose it went quick since I was questioning Sarah about Saturday but she wouldn't even reply. This was starting to bother me, what was the big secrete? Aw man! Why don't I believe them you may ask? Well, Jessie and Sarah have done this to me before, they have said that nothing's going on but really there is something huge behind all of it and the surprise often involved me getting humiliated in some shape or form.. And anyway, Lacey's is too new for us to go there as soon as it opens.

For lunch, we always go to the common room "so, what time you finish today Teya" asked Jessie whilst sitting down on the red sofa with Sarah doing the exact same "I'm going home after lunch"

"Why don't you just go home now?" asked Sarah, stuffing a piece of chicken in her mouth

"I have to see Mrs Dearly about my English exam" I replied

"What does she want?" mumbled Jessie

"She wants to know weather I want to take the exam next week and not next month"

"Why would you take the exam next week?"

"Because I've done all of my coursework" I sighed, I had told them this yesterday but I didn't think the information had sunk in yet "ahhh" they said together. I shook my head with a chuckle and dug into my sandwich. John walked past us and smiled at Jessie "hey Jess" he said stuttering, Jessie looked up at him as if she had never seen him before "can I help you?" she asked, I nudged her in the ribs and she let out a grunt "be nice" I seethed to her, no one deserves the cold shoulder from Jessie. John shifted his bag that was slung around his shoulder and sighed "no, I just wanted to see if Sarah was ok". I smiled slightly, even though John was totally obsessed with Jessie he could still actually notice that Sarah and I were not invisible at points.

John had walked off silently after a while of telling Sarah that the talking would stop soon and that whoever started this rumour will be caught. Same old same old. Once he was out of sight I punched Jessie in the arm "ouch! What was that for?"

"Why are you so cruel to John?" I asked, a look of utter surprise written on Jessie's face

"I'm not cruel to him, I just don't like him like that" she stated, I scoffed

"That's no reason to ignore him". Jessie knew I was right because she shut up at that point, sometimes Jessie could just act a little too controlling and selfish, but that was who she was and I couldn't change that.

Mrs Dearly's office was just down the corridor from the common room, it made everything so much easier since she was our form tutor practically. Mrs Dearly was like a Nan to me, she had been there threw the bad and good times, she also had that Nan-ish aurora about her. I could never really place it but it was always there.

She was sat behind her oak desk as usual, filling out some forms. Her ancient glasses perched neatly on the tip of her nose, the cream jumper and red skirt she always wore was crumpled and in need of ironing, I knocked quietly on the door, she looked up and smiled "Teya, I was just wondering when you would turn up"

"Sorry ma'am, I got held up" I apologised as I took a seat in front of her

"No matter, no matter" she continued "now, as you know, you have finished all of your English course work", I nodded "well, if that's the case, I would like to ask you whether you would like to take you exam next week?"

"Miss, please forgive me for asking but, why can't I just wait until the 9th of August like everyone else?"

"I had just thought that since you had done all of your work, you may have wanted to get it out of the way" she offered "but, if you feel it's too soon, then we'll wait like everyone else". I thought about this for a second, if I did take the exam early, I could concentrate on my maths exam which I still hadn't revised for, but if I didn't take the exam then I could use that time to revise for my maths and get a lot more done, then again, if I'm revising for my maths, all of my English revision goes out of my head, I sighed, I was so confused "ok, I'll take the exam next week" I smiled, still slightly unsure, this seemed to please Mrs Dearly "excellent Teya! I shall inform the head master. Off you go". I stood and walked out of the door with a smile on my face., I was ready for this exam and I was going to pass.

On the way to the exit of the school I went to my locker to get some books I needed for revision, tonight my text book list was full to the brim. I thought about my first day at this school, I had thought I was going to be picked on for the way I looked or the way I acted and in some ways I was correct but then I met Jessie. She was different from the rest, just like me. Sarah had been quite a charmer at the beginning of Belleville, she had fitted in with the "pretty" girls and was extremely popular. It was like I had never existed even though she had promised me that we would never split up after primary. Eventually Sarah got stabbed in the back by one of her "fake" friends and discovered that the way her hair looked in the morning, or if she had a spot didn't mean the end of the world. It was a part of life and no one was going to change that. She had apologised to me (numerous times) and became one of the nicest people I had ever met, although there will always be a part of Sarah that longs to be popular again, having all the guys drooling over her, that's why she always dresses up for school.

I walked up to my locker and put the key in and tried to turn it but it was jammed, I sighed "great". I struggled with the key for a while before letting out a cry of anguish, I heard a chuckle from somewhere. My head that was now resting against the troublesome locker turned to the left. Jack. _"Shit, crap, bollocks, FUCK!" _, I groaned and he laughed again whilst flicking back some of his brown hair that was hanging loose in front of his eyes "locker trouble?" he asked, I stepped away from the locker and smiled sheepishly, he grinned

"I had that locker last year, hates the bloody key's" he commented before hitting the side of the locker with his hand "try it now" and low and behold it opened

"Thanks" I said slightly embarrassed, he smiled

"No problem". I got my books out of my locker and put them in my satchel, Jack was doing the same thing until he finally asked "still into "all kinds" of music?" he beamed, I laughed

"I cant believe you remember that, it was nearly a year ago" I blurted out, I felt my blood rushing to my face _"what the hell did I just say?" _but Jack smiled slightly

"Of course I remember, how could I forget? I see you nearly everyday"

"But we hardly speak to each other" I mumbled, he heard

"Well maybe that's something we have to change then" he smiled, I gulped as he moved slightly closer to me "what'dya think?" he finished and I nodded slowly, obviously looking like I had been asked to sign the secrecy act in parliament. What was happening? I decide to take my exams early and _this_ happens. The only person in the whole world that can make me go redder than the fires of hell wants to get to know me better "so how about we meet up on Saturday, just you and me"…and now he's asking me out "what?!" I yelled, making him jump back slightly "what…about your friends?" I corrected myself, not making it look _too_ bad, Jack shook his head "what do you mean? What about them?"

"If they see you with _me_, wont they…", he shook his head

"If they ditch me because I'm with you then their not really my friends are they?". I smiled, this was crazy, this morning I was getting hyped over the fact that I had History today! "So, how about it? Saturday at 10. Town?" he smiled, I loved his smile. It just made me smile right back, it made my troubles melt away, you could get lost in it. Without thinking I nodded and his sweet smile turned into a grin "it's a date" he replied before turning on his heel in one quick motion. It was only then that the fact that my mouth was nearly on the floor _and_ that I was meeting Jessie and Sarah on the same day at the same time clicked onto me "Jack!" I called, even his name rolled off the tongue. He turned with a confused look on his face "cant bear to be apart from me _that_ long" he smirked, I blushed

"No it's just I've just realised I'm meeting Jessie and Sarah in town…at the same time" I stuttered, he laughed "typical, well I'll meet you anyway", I raised an eyebrow

"You sure?"

"Yeah I'm sure, wait is that the Jessie that thinks I look like a mop because she scares me" he said looking worried, I laughed "I don't think she'll mind to much now that I think about it".

As I waited for the bus to come I smiled, I realised that I had to look absolutely wonderful on Saturday., that meant one word : Sarah. The rain began to poor and I put my hood up. I wasn't the only one at the bus stop, there was an old man with a wispy grey beard and a farmers outfit on . He seemed to be crossed with a country man and a modern man. He was standing next to a small girl. She wore a pink dress and a brown jacket, her red hair scruffily tied up into pig-tails.

I sighed as the bus edged its way up the hill, it was about time. The sky had grown darker and the sun had vanished.

The bus wasn't crowded thankfully, I took a seat next to the window and gazed out into the wet streets. Cars drove past, leaving water trails behind them as the water gushed out from underneath their tires. Tiny droplets of rain were running down the window and my eyes watched them as they danced together, forming together at the bottom.

My feet shuffled making an awful screeching sound from the water and I grimaced, I hated it when that happened.

Finally my stop came around. I pressed the bell and pushed my way forward threw the crowd that had formed at the bottom of the bus "thanks" I said as I made my way off the bus. The doors closed and with a mighty grunt, the bus drove off. I wondered, as I walked threw the streets back to my house, what was going on Saturday. It must be something big, or was my mind playing tricks on me again?. This wouldn't be the first time I had thought too much of something.

My dad was slumped on the couch as usual, watching Deal or no Deal "hi sweetie" said my dad

"Hey" I replied whilst making my way over to the other sofa to be lazy "haven't you already seen this one?"

"Yeah, it's just a re-run" my dad confessed, I gave him a quizzical look

"Why are you watching it then?"

"Well, there's nothing else on and plus, I missed the end", I chuckled. My dad was always like that, never misses anything. He scratched the back of his neck and ran a hand threw his brown spiky hair, he was wearing the same football shirt as yesterday and the same jeans "anything interesting happen at school?"

"Yeah, I'm taking my English exam a week early"

"Ah, you'll fly threw that" he stated with enthusiasm, I smiled "anything else?" he added

"Sarah, Jessie and I are going out Saturday…", I decided it was best not to tell my dad about Jack, he would freak out and say "now no funny business" like all fathers did to their daughters.

"But?"

"But it's not as simple as just going out Saturday, something's going to happen"

"You sure your not just seeing things the wrong way?"

"I'm sure" I concluded whilst standing up "now, I have some course work to do, so if you'll excuse me". I walked out, my mum and dad had been separated now for 3 years, the pain had never really stopped but I had to get on with my life. The excuse they gave me was that they weren't getting along , which was true, so they went to see a marriage councillor, he said that there was nothing he could do to help their marriage, really, I think that my parents told a lie and said they went when really they didn't. I didn't blame them for getting a divorce, they couldn't stand the sight of each other anymore.

My room was filled to the brim with books, English, Maths, Science, Media, Drama, RE and Art. I collapsed onto my red quilted bed and let out a huge sigh "what's going on in the world then" I mumbled as I sat up and switched on my T.V. There was a picture of a run down building that looked like a shabby hotel "as you can see, professor Hojo started to commence experiments in this very building. No one knows how or why, or even where the professor is now, he seems to have been missing now for over thirty five years. Only recent findings suggest that one of the professors experiments went extremely wrong and, in turn, may be to do with the professors disappearance. We cant enter the building due to it being very unstable" said the new reporter of whom was holding the camera. He began to approach a sign that read "Hojo Laboratories Inc", the news reporter chuckled to himself "as you can see, this building was indeed used by professor Hojo and…", I blanked out his voice and laid back on my bed for a while. I was so tired, but something was keeping me from sleep. Hunger.

I trudged downstairs to get a packet of crisps, I looked at the clock, it said 2:45 pm, long time till dinner. My dad was still watching T.V which was not surprising. He never really was a good cook so I had to do most of the food here. Over the years I had learnt to make different things so my father wouldn't get bored of the same old meal every night. Tonight I would be making chicken pie with chips, simple but nice.

My homework still sat on the desk, undone or incomplete. Maths revision was the last thing on my mind, I had tones of science coursework and a drama monologue to practice, plus the thing on Saturday was bugging me like hell! None of my friends had called, it was starting to get dark outside, and they should have been at home by then. I started to get frustrated, if I didn't find out soon then I was going to go crazy. I had to get out of the house. My ipod sat lazily on the desk waiting to be used , I grabbed it and stuck both of the earphones in my ears. Music was a way of making the day's previous events wash away , roll off my shoulder and off into the gutter. Then again it depends what song it was.

I sprinted down the stairs and briefly mumbled where I was going to my father (even though I didn't really know where I was going). He grunted as I walked out the door and slammed it behind me.

It was darker then I thought it was, a gentle breeze brushed the tree's that sat opposite my house and cleared them of any dry leaves. Different shades of gold and brown stood out against the velvet sky. The streetlamps were already lit, was I in my room for _that_ long? My ipod blasted out "Get Low" by "Flo Rider Ft. T Pain" and my foot started to tap against the cold harsh concrete . I loved this song, it just made me want to dance

"_Shawty had them Apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur_

_The whole club is looking at her,_

_She hit the floor,_

_Next thing you know,_

_Shawty got low low low low low" _

A group of boys sat under a bus shelter with hood's covering most of their faces started to look at me as I shuffled past them "you alright there love?" one of them snickered, I sighed and carried on walking "you lost?" said another voice. I quickened my pace as I walked up the street, the houses were starting to disappear as I came closer to the end of the street, I was beginning to see the lights of the city. The sound of footsteps behind me began and my heart started to race, I had taken self-defence classes but I never thought I would have to use them. An alley way that I normally used to get to school when it was raining was coming up, I knew that I could take the short-cut to the town, head threw some of the office buildings and join civilisation. I took the chance and headed down the alley way. Old cardboard boxes from the tiny diners that were stood next to the alley way were slumped up against the wall, damp and deformed. The footsteps behind me seemed to get faster and I started to get scared since the turn in I was supposed to have taken wasn't there "crap" I mumbled "wrong alley way!" . The footsteps stopped and I turned to face the group of boys that I had seen earlier "funny seeing you 'ere eh love?" one of them said

"What do you want?" I asked shyly

"Nothing in particular…spiky" said the same boy who was raising an eyebrow at my black spiky hair "don't call me that!" I snapped, frowning , the boy's burst out into a fit of laughter

"Ok love" they said whilst walking towards me, I shuddered and clenched my fists ready to punch and kick all I could. I had a decent scream locked in my throat, even though no one would hear me. The boys started to get really close and my feet pushed me back against the wall, my eyes closed ready for the moment when I would faint. But that moment never came, instead a feeling of falling rushed through me, I couldn't open my eyes. I tried to open one however it stung far too much because of the wind, I closed it again wondering if this is what fainting feels like when suddenly I felt myself landing on something hard. I opened one eye to see the dark sky…no, it wasn't the sky, it was…metal? Metal plates, that wasn't normal. Nor was me sitting on a pile of garbage, tons of scrap metal lay in front of me, how lucky I had been not to land on a sharp point sticking out. My left arm was bleeding near my shoulder, I could feel the blood running down my arm. Luckily I had landed on the softer side of the heap, a large amount of cardboard boxes laid underneath me, their jagged edges of their lids sticking into my bruised back. I sat up and stared at the object in front of me. There was a large hole that swirled violently within deep shades of black and purple. The streaks of colour were like bolts of lightening shooting threw it. I felt a gust of wind throw my hair in front of my eyes, covering this wonder. Surely this thing was something of my imagination? I pushed the hair out of my eyes to find the hole gone.

The ground crunched beneath my feet as I stood up, where was I? I looked around to take in my surroundings, I was stood next to a large pillar with some junk surrounding it, the ground was a pale yellow and a green light shone from somewhere. This had to be a dream, it just _had_ to be. There was no other explanation for it. Any moment now I was going to wake up on my warm fluffy bed with my dad standing by my bed side to see if I was ok…any minute now.

In the distance I could hear people's voices. If I could get there, I could find out where I was, what was I thinking?! I was in a strange…place and I didn't know where I was going or what I was doing. Was this place on earth?

As I started to walk forwards, my legs buckled in and I fell to the floor, they ached and throbbed from the sudden stop. My hands were covered in dirt as were my clothes and slightly bloody, I sighed and stood up shakily. There was a small passage threw some rubble, a pale green light was emitting from it. What in hell happened to this place? It was like hell!

The air was thick and had so much humidity I could hardly breath, my throat was dry and rough, coughing didn't help nor did building up saliva in my mouth. I grasped my throat, making a futile attempt at capturing more air but it did not work.

Eventually, after slipping and sliding threw rusted garbage, I made it to a tiny town. At least, I think it was a town. Somebody said to me as I walked threw the tiny entrance "welcome to Wall Market miss". Wall Market?

I stood in a small area with tents set up in random positions, small neon lights were sat outside some of the tents. Most people were stood outside of their tents yelling out to people asking them to come in and buy things. The shops were rather odd, they were selling things I had never seen before. Bottles filled with strange glowing liquids and smalls orbs that shone mysteriously. I also found a diner near the north part of this market but it looked old and rusted inside, like one of the kitchens you would see Gordon Ramsey or Jamie Oliver fixing up on television. I wondered further, people shrugged past me in an unfriendly manner, some of them grunted towards me as if they expected something from me. My heart began to race as I realised the situation I was in, my breathing began to get heavy and was on the verge of having a panic attach when suddenly I heard a voice that sounded quite friendly "you look like your lost ma'am" one man said to me, he was tall and wore a red jacket, black shirt and jeans, a warm smile imprinted on his face, normally I would restrain myself from talking to strangers as I had been brought up to do but in this case I made an exception. I nodded to him "I'm afraid I don't know where I am" my voice managed, the man looked at me up and down, his eyebrow cocked "never heard _that_ accent before" he mumbled, I shuffled slightly not knowing what to say

"I- ugh…" I stuttered but the man merely laughed, waving his hand to dismiss the matter and pushing off the wall he was leaning on "tell you where you want to go for information, Don Corneo's mansion"

"Don Corneo?" I mumbled, curious as to why this man was helping me

"Oh yeah, nice guy 'im, always helping young people in trouble. He'd probably give ya a place to stay y'know", I tilted my head to the side "c'mon, I'll take ya there". My immediate reaction was to step away but there was something about that made me think everything would be ok a look in his eye perhaps , I was hesitant but I gave in. I was in a strange place and it was better than standing out in this sickly place all night…or day I couldn't tell due to the metal thing above me. What was that thing? The man took my hand and dragged me off into a small alley, at first I thought I was in trouble but he continued through it until I was presented with a large mansion "wow…" I whispered, this house was much different than the rest of Wall Market, it looked clean. He seemed to be heading for the door but he was stopped by another man. This one was a little more surprising than the last one, he had red spiky hair (and I mean _really_ spiky), goggles that sat above his eyebrows, a black jacket, shirt, black trousers and boots. He gave the man who was holding my hand a deathly look "hello Skotch" he said smoothly, the man named Skotch shuffled back slightly and his hand started to shake in mine "Reno" he stuttered slowly, his scared expression faded to be replaced with a sly smile "where have ya been mate? We've missed ya!" he laughed with a hint of fear, Reno shrugged

"Been busy, orders and what not" he replied, Skotch nodded

"Ah, too bad man. Well, I'll be seeing ya!" Skotch finished happily , obviously glad that this small meeting had been a short one, before walking past Reno…or well _trying_ to walk past him "Whoa, whoa, whoa, Skotch. Hold on. What, may I ask, are you doing with this young lady?", Skotch smirked knowingly

"Taking her to The Don", Reno narrowed his eyes, looking me up and down like Skotch had done before, but Skotch seemed displeased by this "what? Oh come on, like you've never been there" he snapped, obviously frustrated with Reno's lack of cooperation "I'm not saying I haven't, but I'm not going to allow you to take her to him without her telling me that she agreed to join the fucking strip club!" he snapped, my eyes widened

"Strip club!" I yelled and pushed Skotch off of me feeling slightly ill, I felt Reno put his hands on my waist, I flinched at his touch, these people were insane! Reno pushed past me and stormed towards Skotch, the red head grabbed him by the collar and held him against a nearby wall. Skotch squirmed in Reno's grasp but it made no difference to the red head "I told you and your boss, if I don't see it then it's not there!" Reno spat "I got orders from Shin-ra to shut you guys down!"

"Reno, I forgot, sorry man" Skotch stammered

"Forget again and I'll let Rude take care of ya personally" Reno glared, Skotch gasped as the red head let him drop to the floor. Reno turned to me slowly, ignoring the curses emitting from the man below him "come on, I'll take you to an inn" he said slowly a dangerous look in his eyes, and turned to Skotch again "get out of here!", Skotch ran off with fear in his eyes. What did I let myself in for? And how could I know that Reno was someone I could trust? I didn't care, an Inn sounded better than anything else at the moment.

The man named Reno was very quiet when he took me to the inn, his red hair moving in the same direction he did. I was more surprised at myself for trusting yet anther complete stranger after the event with Skotch.

"What's a young girl like yourself doing out here so late?" he asked, his voice smooth and confident, I shuffled away from him slightly as we walked "ugh-…I'm new around and I…ugh…", Reno chuckled but this wasn't a normal chuckle, this laugh was dark and cruel "well that's not obvious". I stayed silent after he said that, I felt like screaming at the top of my lungs and I had only been here five minutes.

The inn was very cosy, I had to admit. It was just normal hotel, wood flooring, desk with a receptionist behind it "go and wait over there" Reno ordered, pointing to a set of chairs, I didn't dare question him. I could see why Skotch went stiff when Reno showed himself. He started talking to the lady behind the desk who, if my eyes saw right, blushed as soon as he smiled at her. Great, he was one of _those_ guys.

"Reno, where have you been lately?" she asked lustfully, Reno leant towards her with a smile

"Ah, y'know, here and there" he replied, the woman giggled. She glanced over Reno's shoulder and her smile faded "who's your friend?" she asked, Reno looked at me with a bored expression

"Who? Her? Ah, just someone I helped off the street" he replied, the woman giggled again

"Well that was sweet of you" she smiled, Reno shrugged

"Anyway, I need a room for her…and then maybe you and I could get one" he added, I rolled my eyes in disgust "oh Reno! I'm working, I can't!"

"You own the bloody place!" Reno screeched, the woman laughed

"No, my father does" she grinned, her grin faded as she turned towards me "that'll be fifty gil" she said lazily. Gil? What the hell was gil?! Reno turned towards me expectantly "please tell me you have gil" he scoffed, I stared at him apologetically and after a few seconds, he got the message "looks like I'm paying" he said to the woman and dug out his wallet from his pockets.

Eventually, he came over to me and handed me a key "here" he grunted and stared at me for a moment or two "what?" I asked

"What's your name?"

"Teya", I saw a small smile touch his lips

"I'm Reno"

"I guessed" I replied glumly , he shuffled slightly and ran a hand through his scruffy hair "ugh, thanks for helping me out back there and…sorry about that" I said, slightly embarrassed. He chuckled "it's ok. So, you gonna be ok on your own now?", _no_ I thought

"Yeah, I should be fine" _that's a lie _

"Are you sure?" he smirked

"Yes" I stated with a slight smile, he didn't seem to listen because straight after I said that he grabbed my hand and took me up the stairs and showed me my room "you wouldn't have found it on your own" he smiled, I laughed. He was a total stranger but their seemed to be something about him that I liked, a feature that made him seem trusting even though my thoughts on this place were not exactly high at this point.

"I can manage that at least y'know"

"Could you? I hadn't noticed" he chuckled as he walked towards the door "It was nice to meet you Teya". Then he was gone. That was the strangest night of my life.

* * *

I found myself lying in the hotel bed at 7:00am. I didn't have the best of nights sleep, just the thought of not being able to get home, and what happened earlier made me nervous of this place. Over the years, I had learnt to keep a balance on my emotions, hence why I wasn't running around screaming. I thought things threw logically.

I couldn't stay here any longer, I had to go and try to find a way home. I pushed the covers off me and ran out the door leaving the key on the receptionists desk. I was sure I would be able to find that large pillar, I mean, it wasn't easy to miss. The town was busy again, the same people setting up the same stalls as before. They gave me strange looks as I walked past them, they knew I wasn't from around here. I guessed they didn't take too kindly to strangers.

When I found it, I made my way up the rubble that was beside it to see if I could catch a glimpse of that hole that I came threw but there was nothing, just a deserted wasteland with nothing to keep it company other than the polluted air and rubble. I felt anger bubble up inside of me, _why?_ I kept asking myself that question over and over again. I couldn't think straight, then again who could? I had just been tossed out of my home into a place I had never seen before. I sighed and made my way down the mountain of junk.

I guessed the only thing I could do with myself was to find a job or something till it appears again, even though I knew that it wouldn't be any time soon.

My first place to hunt for a job was the newspaper obviously. I found out that the city of which I resided in was called Midgar, it wasn't a pleasant city either. The metal thing that I had noticed when I first got here was the "plate", it literally was just a large metal plate that blocked off all sunlight. On top of the plate sat the Shin-ra Electric Power Company building, they were a massive corporation that gave Midgar electricity, however below all that was the slums. A drizzly place where polluted air swamped the people and their land couldn't flourish. That was where I was. The slums. Sector 6. The people in the slums weren't too kind either, there were many reports of people being robbed, everything they own taken. And the people who committed the crimes were just trying to stay alive. I looked at the list of items that were claimed to have been stolen. A chair, a box of biscuits, something called materia and a pillow? _"That's hardly anything"_ my first thought concluded but after I thought about it and looked around to see people half alive because they didn't have enough to eat. I felt so sorry for them. What happened to this town? There were whispers about a place called the Shin-ra Electric Power Company around, saying that they were evil, but another story said they wee the best thing that could have happened to these people.

I turned to a more…hopeful page, the jobs page. There was a position at Shin-ra as a receptionists for the….Turks but I didn't know whether I should or not, I had heard rumours that rebellious groups were making attacks on the main building, but what did I know? I guessed a job at Shin-ra wouldn't be that bad, and even if there were terrorist attacks, Shin-ra had a pretty good defence going on so what harm could it do?

After a while, I found myself thinking about the man who had gotten me out of that situation with Skotch, Reno. What an odd name, wasn't there a city named that? Why did he help me? Was Reno his real name? Was he a prisoner here just like me? So many questions ran through my head…questions that I'd probably never get the answer too. He seemed so odd looking too…long red fiery hair that reached out into a ponytail. The black goggles above his blue eyes made him look fierce but there was something about him that didn't seem so…menacing after I looked at him properly. I couldn't really put my finger on it. My eyes drooped at the thought of bumping into him again and I slowly drifted.

* * *

I had sent my letter to the Shin-ra Electric power company a few days ago and still nothing. I was still living in the inn, I guessed Reno must have paid for me to stay here for a week or two. That thought suddenly made me feel bad, yeah I had thanked him for saving me and all but I didn't thank him for brining me here, and now I wont be able to find him. I don't even know anything about him other than his name. If I get the job at Shin-ra I should be able to find him.

Over the last couple of days I had learnt a lot about Shin-ra from various people around Wall Market. I regretted asking at first, most of the people bad mouthed them saying that they were destroying the planet…how that was possible I didn't know so I ignored them and asked another person but still no difference. Not until I met this young lady in a restaurant one night , she had bought me a drink because I looked "lonely" apparently. When I had asked her about Shin-ra she smiled sheepishly "Shin-ra you say?" she had asked, I nodded "well their not a company to be messed with. You mess up, you pay for it" she stated with a meaningful look, I gulped. My mind raced _"what had I let myself in for?!" _

"But Shin-ra have their good points. They protect the city well, they give us power and jobs. Midgar will never go into a great depression like Wutai did after the war". A war? That didn't really surprised me but I was still curious about Shin-ra and the Turks "what about the Turks?" I asked, she sighed

"No one really knows about the Turks, except for the fact that they carry out Shin-ra's orders for the city"

"What kind of orders?" I mumbled, wondering if I was asking to much. She looked at me with a raised eyebrow "what are you? Police? Heh, there haven't been police around here for years, only SOLDIER".

I decided to stop at that point but even more questions scattered themselves around my head at that point _"who are SOLDIER?" "What kind of orders are the Turks given?" "Why was there a war?". _Maybe I would find out…maybe I wouldn't.

A few days later I heard a knock on my door that made me jump, I sighed and opened it with slight confusion "yes?", outside stood the inn manager "hello miss, this arrived for you this morning" he muttered whilst handing me a letter "thank you" I replied, closing the door. Funny how a letter arrived just when I was thinking about it, it had the Shin-ra logo on it so….

What?!

_Dear Miss Barlow_

_Your application for working at the Shin-ra Electric Power Company has been accepted. Please attend to work on Monday morning at 7:00am. No particular dress code is in forced on your part however, please wear something respectable. Inside you will find a key card to the Turks floor. Do not lose it. I hope you enjoy working for the company. See you on Monday._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Tseng _

_Head of the Department of Administrative Research_

That was it? No meeting with me first? Well, I suppose this "Tseng" wasn't one for messing around. I'm glad I really put a lot into that letter, there must have been tons of people who applied for that job. Suddenly I felt important, actually nervous about starting this job, sure I had done work experience but I never had my eye on being a secretary. Still, it wasn't really doing much. Sitting at a desk all day with a cup of coffee, signing some forms and making phone calls.

If they wanted something respectable then they weren't going to complain. I was still wearing what I had been wearing to school, a shirt with a black jumper over it, black trousers and boots. I hoped that was respectable enough. As for the key card, it was nothing more than a stick of plastic with a number on it "simple" I mumbled as I looked at it in my hand. Monday was tomorrow, so I decided to try and get a good nights sleep.

* * *

The alarm clock that sat on the desk next to my bed roared with an ear-aching ring, I squinted my eyes open and looked lazily at the vibrating clock. I groaned and stabbed the snooze button with my finger "let's go and die" I mumbled and stumbled my way to the shower.

Eventually, I managed to wake up enough to actually start getting dressed. For some reason I wasn't nervous. Normally I would be shaking with fear but not this time, I felt confident and I mean really confident. It was something about the way Tseng had spoke…or written, that made me feel comfortable with this whole thing. The words were welcoming, yet overpowering at the same time. What was I so worried about anyway? I mean, it was just sitting behind a desk, right?

The streets were eerie in the morning mist. The green coloured smoke wrapped around me like a cloak as I stepped out into the deserted area that was sector 6, as I thought back to what Tseng had written in his letter, I thought of how important and formal this job sounded. The Turks must have been pretty important…back then. Suddenly, a thought struck me. How in the hell was I supposed to get onto the plate?! There were no stairs, no elevator, no nothing. The slums had been completely cut off from the upper world. The streets were practically empty so there was no one to ask. What a good impression I was making on the Turks.

I wondered for about fifteen minutes before I found myself back in Wall Market, a couple of people were setting up stalls again for another day of mad marketing. I wondered, did these people do the same thing every day? Were they part of a vicious cycle that restarted everyday? Did they do shameful things just to stay alive? My thoughts were quickly interrupted by an elderly man who was stumbling towards me with a walking stick "you lost love?", I raised an eyebrow and was wary of the people in this city but he had a look of innocence in his eyes that I had not seen in a long time…not even at home "yes, I need to find a way to get up to the plate. Do you know a way?", the man looked at me as if I was crazy

"You want to get onto the plate?"

"Yes", I frowned as he gave me a quizzical look. He seemed to be studying me, as though I was the only person in the whole of Midgar wanting to get onto the plate "my dear, the only way of getting to the plate is to get on a train", I cocked my head to the side, I did not realise that this "city" had a railway "really? Where is the station?"

"I take it your new around here then?", I nodded and the man grunted. He turned swiftly and wobbled over to a set of large steps, and then beckoned me over to him "listen here, go up these steps and get on the next train. See, these trains don't go no where else other than around the plate. Any train will do", I shrugged

"How am I supposed to get on the train? I have no money"

"Ah, don't worry about that. The trains don't care for gil, they have a security scanner on every carriage. It links up to the Shinra HQ and does an I.D scan on ya'"

"Sounds pretty harsh…wait, gil?", the man stared at me blankly "is that the currency here?"

"Yeah…you not heard of it girl…it's what they use all over Gia"

"Gia?"

"The planet love…you sure your ok? You haven't knocked your head now have you?", I shook my head slowly. I now knew my location…but it wasn't on Earth. The old man stared at me in awe for a second or two before he spoke again "will you be alright now love?"

"Yes, thank you very much", the old man smiled and wandered off into the fluorescent green mist of the morning.

As I sat on the rust filled seats that were attached the harsh, cold metal walls of the deserted train, I began to think about the hole that brought me here. Surely it was impossible! I tried pinching myself, hoping that I would wake up in my warm comfy bed and the sanctuary that was my dads house, but nothing did the trick. At the time, I was 100% sure I was dreaming, I was one of those people who didn't believe in miracles or magic. I was a realist.

My opinion of this…Midgar were not very high as of this moment, across from me sat a very shady man with a cloak over him. His bright blue eyes stood out from the abyss of darkness that his hood created, they would zoom across the carriage and sometimes throw a glance at me, but only briefly. Few spikes of red hair flowed down in front of his nose and flicked up near the end. A terrifying look. His eyes made me feel uncomfortable, they dug into me, bringing my fear to the surface and then judging me. At the end of the carriage sat a young women with a blonde bob. She was wearing a black jumper with a turtle neck and jeans. Like the shady character opposite me, her eyes glanced at me sometimes, but not as often. I guessed that they were regulars on this train and didn't welcome newcomers.

The train rumbled on the rails making them vibrate and shatter. The sun never shined in on dull planet, if this place even was a planet, because of that metal plate. I thought "does this place even have sun?".

The train stopped with an ear-aching screech, if it was any louder I swear my ears would have started to bleed. My legs nearly gave way as I stepped off the iron train as it was washed in and ocean of steam. Was that their main resource? Before me stood a huge building that was oddly shaped. It's curves went in and out until it made one huge rectangular sphere in the middle and then carried on straight up into the air. The Shinra sign sat neatly in the middle of the futuristic building, standing out amongst the metallic place with its red square and gold writing. I was stunned, the building was surrounded by machines that gave off a foul stench which made my eyes water with pain, a green smoke rose from the tops of them and coloured the sky grey. The metal plate that hung above me when I first arrived was no longer there, however, it might as well have been. The sky had no sun, it was an abyss of darkness that never ended. It seemed to spread to the horizon and engulf this place in its fury. This made me feel uneasy, but as I got used to the never ending darkness it seemed to feel as normal as home.

I pushed through the glass doors that stood proudly in front of me and shuffled into the large reception that was "Shin-ra" and gasped at the difference between the polluted, isolated hell hole outside and this cyber palace "can I help you miss?" asked a small voice wrenching me out of my focus. In front of me stood a tall blonde women wearing a red coat and skirt, she smiled at me warmly but a look of fear flashed in her eyes "I-…" , I was still dazed by the astounding technology _just_ in the reception of this building, the women chuckled to my surprise and I stared at her blankly "you wouldn't be Teya by any chance?" she asked, I nodded dumbly

"Yes but how did you kno-", she laughed

"I'm a receptionist, I saw your CV. Not from around here and don't know a lot about Shin-ra right?" she asked whilst walking to her desk and sitting down with me trailing behind her

"Yeah"

"I kind of noticed when you walked in here looking flustered". I felt my cheeks go hot and the women laughed "don't worry love, we get a lot worse than you in here normally", I felt better but I was still embarrassed , she smiled at my discomfort for a second "so what made you want to work at Shin-ra?" she asked whilst looking something up on the computer that sat in front of her "I've got nowhere else to go" I mumbled whilst fiddling with my fingers, the typing on the keyboard stopped and the receptionist looked up at me "well, when you get your break at 1:30 come down here, we'll grab a coffee each and I'll show you round the place, yeah?" , I smiled at her and nodded

"That sounds great! Thanks a lot!". She grinned at me and flicked her hair back around her shoulders, there was a long pause whilst she started typing things in on her computer again. No doubt she was looking at appointments "ah, here you are. Teya Barlow for the Department of Administrative Research. Your in room 275 on floor 60. Do you have your card key?" she asked, I nodded and put my hand on the plastic stick that sat in my pocket "well then, just take the elevator up to floor 60, there should be someone there waiting for you". I said my thanks and, still looking rather dazed at all the technology, walked towards the transparent elevator. The doors closed with a screech and the elevator moved up with a jerk, not exactly the way I wanted to be woken up at seven o'clock in the morning.

People gave me odd looks as the elevator went passed their floors, they looked at me as if I was an alien, as if I didn't belong. I didn't belong here, I belonged in England with my family and friends, I belonged in my school where all the most crucial exams in my whole life were taking place in a matter of days and where I could blush insanely over Jack! But I was stuck here, in this polluted, slime ball infested, deathly place. I sighed, was I being punished for something?

The elevator came to a complete halt for a moment, suddenly I was scared. What if the elevator had broken down? What if I was stuck? What if- _"please insert key card when going over floor 59" _

"oh" I mumbled as my panic melted away, my mothers voice echoed in the back of my head at that point _"you worry too much love, everything will be fine"_ . I thought about my mother at that point, my father too. Did they know I was gone? Surely dad would have realised I was missing by now but what if…this place had a different time…thing? It was such a mess!

The elevator started to move once again and that same fear I had felt when I first walked into the building swamped me again, I was suddenly aware of my tongue as the elevator approached floor 60 _"just relax, stay loose"_ I told myself as the moving tube came to a halt. Through the transparent doors I could see an empty reception desk (my supposed work space I guessed), lots of plant pots some of which had dying plants in them and a red carpet that stretched up the corridor in front of me and around a rather sharp corner at the end of it. A man was leant up against the reception desk, from what I could see he was quite tall and had long, black hair.

The transparent doors opened and I stepped out, looking cautiously at the man who was now staring at me "and you are?" he asked, his hair flicking up at points due to a draft, as I expected he was tall, quite pale and had a sharp pointed face. His eyes eyed me up for a moment or two before he spoke again "I haven't seen you around before, are you Teya?", I nodded dumbly. Despite the fact that he was obviously a posh person due to the fact that he was dressed in quite an astounding blue suit, he was astonishingly handsome. Especially for someone who's hair was nearly touching the floor. A smirk was then painted onto his face "I'm Tseng" he said politely whilst holding out a hand , I shook it

"Nice to meet you" was the only thing I could get out of myself, what an idiot I looked. He gestured towards a door that had "Turks" written on in gold lettering "this way" he ordered, I didn't question him and walked into the room beyond the door.

What I expected of the Turks were a group of posh, well dressed, tidy, honest and strict people who worked hard all day everyday. I suppose you could say I thought I was going to be working with some snobs, but I can assure you, the reality of the Turks was much different. There were two people, excluding Tseng, in this tiny room and three desks. That was it. The two people in there were even stranger then Tseng. There was a large black man sat at one desk, he was bald and had black sunglasses on his face. The one thing that scared me about him though…was the fact that he was _huge_! The other person was a women, she had a softer face, one that wasn't as menacing as the others. Her curly brown hair fell onto her shoulders in a neat manor and her suit was just as sharp as the others.

Tseng stepped in front of me and looked around "where is-"

"late " sighed the women, she looked at me and gave me a warm smile "hello, I'm Shuriken"

"Hi" I replied nervously, I saw Tseng glance over at the large man sitting in the corner

"Well are you going to say hello Rude or are we going to have to teach you manners?" Tseng asked patronisingly, the man named Rude grunted "nice to meet you" he mumbled in a brooding voice

"pleasures all mine" I replied and shuffled back slightly. Tseng then took a great step forward and gestured to me for the other Turks "this is Teya, she is going to be our new receptionist", Shuriken giggled "let's just hope Mr Hot Stuff doesn't go through another one!", Rude stifled a smirk

"Now, now Shuriken. Enough of that!" ordered Tseng

"Sorry sir" she answered and carried on working on the computer. I wondered who they were discussing, obviously someone to watch out for in a sense.

Tseng led me outside once more "if you just sit at your desk, I'll be with you shortly". He left me on my own to think, I took a seat at my desk and swivelled round on the chair. This wasn't so bad, the people were friendly enough, I wonder what it is that they do in "The Turks", probably just paperwork for the owner of the company. The elevator doors pinged open and a loud voice sang in an awful tune, the voice was coming closer but I didn't make anything of it, it was probably the Turk who was late "do you work for _us_?" asked a male voice that was obviously dripping in lust , I span myself around to come face to face with a grinning hyena, only, that grin faded when he saw who I was "Teya?!"

"Reno!?".


	2. Wutai

Having to work at a place that seemed to be far to advanced to just be an electric company was strange enough without having Reno working there too. He was my knight in shining armour, the one who had saved me on my first night here, the type of hero you find in fairy tales that saves you from the evil doer. I was so shocked, I'm going to be working for him, me.

After a while of staring at each other and studying each other again, I had realised that Reno also had two tiny curved red tattoos directly by the sides of his eyes, I hadn't seen them in the dark. They gave him a tough look but his actual eyes said different. They were soft, a dreamy look enclosed in them and the delicate blue colour shrouding them had a misty look to it. They were…to sum it up…enchanting "what are you doing here?" he asked, his voice less lustful this time but there was still a hint of desire there "I work here" I replied with a smug tone, he scoffed with a smirk

"Really?" he stated sarcastically "well you better work hard, and to my expectations". There was something about Reno that didn't make him seem like a boss, so I smirked at that comment and lent towards him "I take orders from Tseng, no one else" my voice said softly, Reno seemed pleased by this and lent in towards me so our faces were inches apart "well, I'm second in command. That makes me your boss"

"And Tseng is yours…your only second best" I grinned and he chuckled. I had never been in this situation before, it was very unlike me to act like this, especially around men. I felt my face go hot at this point, he gave me the same look he gave the receptionist at the inn. I can see how it works now "well, we'll see about tha-", he was cut off by Tseng

"Reno!" the raven haired Turk yelled and beckoned Reno over "get in my office now! Your late.". Reno shuffled for a moment before turning to me and winking "see ya doll", that was the last I saw of him but it certainly wasn't the last time I thought about him. What would become of this situation was extremely unclear but I was far too curious for my own good.

When it was time for my break I walked down to the main reception and waited for the blond lady like she had suggested, people were walking around the reception doing what they did best, as I expected they did every day. They gave me odd looks, like they were trying to work me out, I tried to offer some of them a slight smile but they just returned a look of disgust. When she did finally appear, much to my relief, she smiled "hello Teya, you ok?" she asked and closed down her computer, I nodded "I never caught your name" I stated

"Sorry about that, my names Tami" she replied whilst holding out a hand, I took it "so, want to grab a coffee?" she asked and walked out the door of the building with me trailing behind her. The darkness that was present in the slums was still present here, it was like another huge plate of metal had covered this part too, there was no sun. Just darkness.

After we had got a coffee each (she had paid for mine as a "welcome-to-Shinra present") we started walking around the building just talking "so how are you finding your first day?" she had asked

"Quite good, it's not as scary as I thought", she laughed with a knowing look

"It never is love. So, how do you like the Turks?" she asked, her face slightly more curious than I would have expected. I cleared my throat. I was not prepared to answer that question "um, yeah. Their quite nice. Rude's very quiet" I commented, not really sure about what to say, and Tami laughed once again flicking her blonde hair over her shoulder "he's always like that"

"Tseng is very efficient" I stated whilst taking a sip of my coffee "_very_ efficient"

"Oh my god, did he tell you that you would have to put all of the files in date order, then in alphabetical order and then put those in number order!" she chuckled as I nodded enthusiastically. We stopped and sat down on a bench for a while to rest our legs "Shuriken is very nice"

"Oh yeah, Shuriken loves everybody. Lovely person she is, very motherly", there was a pause before I continued on with the next Turk, I wasn't exactly sure how to put it "Reno is very…" millions of words skimmed through my mind "…charming" I mumbled, feeling I had picked the wrong word. Silence. I looked up at Tami who had a smirk on his face "you mean red haired Reno?"

"Yeah"

"Ah" she stated with a worried look on her face

"What?" I asked, slightly worried also, she turned towards me a bit more and put her hand on mine

"Listen Teya, you don't want to get to close to Reno"

"Why not?"

"He doesn't have a lot of respect for women, he thinks them as things that are just there to keep men… happy"

"Happy?" I asked, she looked at me with a meaningful stare, then I caught on "oh you mean he's a…womanizer"

"Probably the biggest one you can ever meet hunny. Reno has slept with every women in the building I tell you. It's like his goal to screw every women in Midgar" she stated with confidence, a thought then occurred to me "you know an awful lot about the Turks…especially Reno" I mumbled shakily

"Yeah" she sighed "that's what happens when you date one of him"

"What?", she looked at me glumly

"I dated Reno for a little while, it was fun. Very…ugh how shall I put it…"active" but one day he just decided that he'd had enough of me and left"

"That's horrible!" I yelled, Tami nodded whilst taking a large gulp of her drink

"That's Reno for you…well I suppose that's _men_ for you" she summarised

"But why would they do that?" I asked, curiosity once again got the better of me

"You've never been a victim of one of these guys have you?", I shook my head and she sighed

"they love you and leave you practically. Reno doesn't speak to me at all, not a word. It's as if I don't exist and it makes you feel like crap. Like you're a toy that has been used and then thrown away. He has no respect for anything except his own fucking manhood" she paused then smiled "if you can even call it that". I laughed and threw my empty coffee cup in the bin next to us

"So Reno's one to stay away from?"

"Let's see, has he given you "the Stare" yet?", I cocked my head to one side

"The Stare?"

"Y'know, the stare that makes you melt inside, the one that you just cant say no to" she stated, I remembered that look in his eyes that he had had earlier that day and I nodded

"And has he used his extremely lustful voice on you yet?"

"Defiantly" I replied, grinning slightly

"Yeah he wants to sleep with you", I widened my eyes

"Well I can assure you he is _not_ going to win _me_ over" I said sternly, Tami had a lazy look on her face

"Honey, that's what they all say when we warn them, but it never works. Not one women has come into this building to work and hasn't ended up in Reno's bed one morning. He wont stop until he gets you, that's how he works and 100% of the time, he has his nightly dose" . I was shocked , the man who had saved me from that awful strip club was a womanizer who had rather awful intentions that I'd rather not even think about "what's the obsession with women all about?", Tami shrugged

"It's not women he's obsessed with love, it's sex"

"That's revolting!" I said whilst scrunching up my face in disgust

"Not for a Turk it isn't" she commented and took a sip of her coffee. I sighed as more questions presented themselves to me in my head "why? What do the Turks do?" , Tami shrugged

"Sex is a form of stress release for a Turk and what they do? If I told you that…I'd have to kill you", I smirked but Tami's face looked deadly serious "are you being serious? Your not are you?". Tami didn't say a word, and suddenly I felt scared.

That night all I could think about was Reno and what Tami had said, why had he saved me from that Skotch man if he was just going to use me in the same way? I wasn't just going to roll over and let him seduce me like so many women before, I can assure you of that . It's an idiotic thought to think that I could fall for a man like him anyway, he was too lanky, too scruffy he just wasn't the guy for me. Of course he was attractive but he wasn't the guy I dreamed of marrying one day. He was a scoundrel and nothing more…no matter how hypnotising his eyes were. I sighed, maybe taking this job wasn't the best idea in the world. The only way to save myself from falling for him is by saying no to everything he offers, even if it was a pencil! I had to keep my distance. And what did the Turks do?! That question was constantly in my mind, I had thought of every possible outcome there could be but I couldn't imagine the people I had met doing those sorts of things. Sex was a form of stress release huh? That's what Tami had said…that didn't help at all. It was a useless piece of information that I did not need, now that I thought about it, that's what most people use as a form of stress release anyway.

That morning I tried to be as distant from Reno as possible…but it didn't come off as successfully as I had previously hoped . As I sat down at my desk, coffee in hand, Shuriken walked out of the elevator and smiled at me warmly "hello Teya"

"Hi Shuriken" I replied, returning the smile. She turned towards the desk and lent on the side casually

"How are you finding it here then?"

"Um, slightly confusing" I laughed, she grinned

"That's what it was like for me when I first came here. The building is far too big for its own good" she replied whilst flicking her perfect hair out of her eyes "got much work to do?" she asked thoughtfully

"Not really, it's not as busy as I thought it was going to be"

"Ah, that's because your new and still getting used to the building. Tseng handles most of the documents for about six weeks then see's if you can handle the work load. Don't tell him I told you that, I'll get into trouble", I nodded thoughtfully

"Thanks" I smiled as she waved and entered the Turks room. I wondered what went on in there? What did the Turks actually do? Normally I wouldn't question these types of things, I mean, it was none of my business right? But there was something about them…in their eyes…there was a hint of guilt in each of them. They seemed perfect on the outside, friendly, amusing, everything seemed normal about them but when you start talking to one of them you can see a sort of pain. It made me curious…and something told me that was a bad thing. Just as that thought crossed my mind Rude walked out of the elevator, his black sunglasses still placed on his face and suit as sharp as ever, he walked past me without a glance in my direction.. I was tempted to say good morning but didn't dare, Rude didn't seem as welcoming as Shuriken. As the door shut behind him I let out a great sigh and looked down at the floor, what was I doing here? I shouldn't be sitting behind a desk waiting for someone to come and rescue me, I should be out there trying to find a way home. The hero who saves the damsel only appears in fairy tales, and even if it did happen who would be _my_ hero? No one in _this_ scum filled hell hole. Tseng then walked out of the elevator, with the same astonishing charm he had every time I saw him, and calmly shuffled up to my desk "good morning" he said

"And to you sir" I replied in a slightly nervous tone, he smiled for moment but it quickly disappeared and was replaced with a file that he held in his hand "would you mind sorting this out for me please?", I took the file without question "not at all sir". He smiled again slightly and walked to his office "have a good day Teya" he mumbled as the door closed.

It was 10 o'clock in the morning and the red-haired Turk had still not arrived, I wouldn't be surprised if he get's fired. Good riddance.

I knew that it was wrong of me, but each file I was given I would scan through each of them vividly to see if I could get any information on what the Turks did but nothing! Not one thing! It was all delivery's and dinner party arrangements for President Shinra, the owner of the company. It would seem pretty simple to anyone else to think "oh, they only take care of the presidents orders" but it wasn't as simple as that. That hint of guilt in their faces could still be seen, sure they took care of the presidents needs but _what_ were they?! It had to be more then what was in the files, it just _had _to be. I swivelled round on my chair and put the file in a cabinet that stood behind my desk. Suddenly I didn't feel alone, I felt a tingle go up my spine…like a chill. I turned around abruptly to be faced with the cocky Turk Reno "don't do that you scared me!" I yelled, he held a huge grin on his face

"now now Miss Barlow, is that anyway to talk to your superior" he said smugly, I shook it off and lowered my voice to a whisper "you are going to get in hell if Tseng finds you sneaking in now, your three hours late!", he shrugged lazily

"It's better than my usual time" he replied

"Actually, your normally here an hour late, not three!" I spat, he gave me a lustful smile and leaned on the desk "so you've been keeping times have you?"

"What!?" I screeched and leaned away from him "I…I..", I couldn't think of anything to say to that well I could have said "actually I've only been here working a day so how would I know" but that would have ended badly. The previous day Tseng had presented me with another file which contained times that the employees of Shinra, including the Turks, had been clocking in and out. I was shocked that he would even _have_ that idea in his head, even though it's partly true, he chuckled "I like it when your like that, it's cute", I felt my face go hot and my throat close up. He was giving me _that_ look again "shut up" I mumbled and fiddled with some papers on my desk, I heard him laugh softly "Hey, maybe sometime we could-"

"RENO!" Tseng yelled from the door with an evil look on his face, the charm I had seen earlier had vanished and all that was left was anger "in my office NOW!". Reno didn't question him, he shuffled into his office not giving me the wink he had done the first time this happened "I'm sorry if he has disturbed you Teya" Tseng said, his face looking softer, I shook my head

"Not at all sir, I actually needed to ask Reno a question about something, I guess I lost track of time sir" I stuttered, hopefully Tseng wouldn't be _too_ harsh on Reno now… so much for keeping my distance "I understand Teya, but I doubt that a question and answer would take three hours" he replied, his voice full of poison

"_Or not"_ I thought and nodded at Tseng, biting my bottom lip in the process _"shit"_.

At lunch I sat in the canteen stirring my coffee slowly, I had been stirring for at least half an hour but my mind was filled to the brim with thoughts. When Reno had come out of Tseng's office, his face had been redder than his hair and he looked really, _really_ pissed off. He had slammed the door behind him making me jump, I was tempted to go into the Turks room and ask him what was wrong.

The canteen was emptying now, people were starting to move out of the large, blue table and plastic green chaired room and back into their work space. I was about to do the same when I heard the door open behind me, it was just Shuriken. She walked up to the food counter and grabbed a drink of water "hey Shuriken?" I muttered just loud enough for her to hear, she turned around and smiled

"Hey, what's up?"

"I was just wondering, if you don't mind me asking, what happened to Reno earlier?" I asked getting straight to the point, her smile faded and she sighed heavily "um…"she began but looked towards the door in one quick motion, her smile was painted on her face again "why don't you ask him yourself?"

"Huh?" I replied dumbly, she gestured towards the door as it burst open and in came Reno "oh" I finished and looked at Shuriken to say thanks but she was already half way out the door. I shuffled in my seat as he grabbed a sandwich off over the counter, his long fiery ponytail swinging behind him freely "what?" his voice said, bringing me out of my trance and caused me to realise I was staring . He walked over to my table and sat opposite me "you like what you see?" he grinned, I rolled my eyes and continued to stir my coffee. He just sat there watching me, not speaking, hardly breathing! Just watching "ok, I think it's _my _turn to ask "what"?" I mumbled, Reno chuckled

"I like watching you", I blushed madly. There was a pause, an extremely long pause

"So" I began " what happened this morning with Tseng?", Reno frowned and a disgusted look on his face appeared "that bastard can go fuck himself for all I care, then again I don't think he could even manage _that_"

"I guess it didn't go too well huh?" I asked softly trying to stifle a laugh , Reno sighed

"No, I've been given extra duties and I'm working late some nights" he grumbled, I cocked my head to one side "that's a bad thing?"

"It is for me!" he laughed, I smiled and finally took a sip of my coffee. His smile never faded, no longer was there a cocky, lustful look on his face, now there was a general look of happiness about him. It was the same look that has mesmerised me the first night we had met…which reminded me "oh yeah! There is something I've been meaning to ask you" I said sweetly, Reno frowned for a moment in confusion but quickly shook it off "ok?" he replied

"Um, I was just wondering…why you-" I stopped mid sentence, my eyes couldn't help but look behind Reno. The door to the canteen had been swung open, and standing in the door way was the most jaw-dropping man I had ever seen. He stepped into the light as if he knew I wanted to get a better look at him, his blonde hair shaped round his face with a tiny strand escaping from the rest in front of his crystal blue eyes. He wore a white suite and had a serious look about him, he had to be the most handsome man I had ever seen "Teya?" Reno's gentle voice asked, bringing me out of my trance

"Huh?" I replied dumbly, realising that my mouth was open. Reno gave me a quizzical look and turned around in his seat, when he looked back at me his face was put together with two emotions. He had a sad look, but also a smug look painted on him and he waited for me to speak "wh-who is that?" I asked, my voice was a trembling whisper, Reno scoffed "you mean you have no idea who that is?!", I shook my head slowly, my eyes not leaving the mysterious man who had just walked in "that's Vice President Rufus Shinra" continued Reno "the presidents son !He's only the most famous bachelor in the whole of Gia!" he finished. Once Reno's words had sunk in I tore my eyes away from Rufus and back to Reno

"That cant possibly the presidents son can it?! He's too….too" I mumbled my words being lost, Reno rolled his eyes in annoyance but managed a small chuckle

"I wouldn't get your hopes up, Rufus is all business"

"I have no idea what your drivelling on about" I replied confidently, my eyes quickly glancing at Rufus who now had his back turned to us "oh come on! As soon as he walked in the door you fell in love with him…all women do" Reno stated in an unusual happy tone. I couldn't deny the fact that Rufus was attractive, he seemed perfect on the outside. Heck! Even his walk was somewhat sexy! Before I even could register it he began to glance over at Reno and mines table "whatever you do, don't say anything or do anything unless he speaks or asks you to ok?" mumbled Reno with a serious look, I nodded as Rufus walked over "Reno" he said, his voice was a deep and commanding one that nearly made me cry out "yes sir?" the red haired Turk replied with a hint of boredom in his voice

"Did you pass those files I gave you up to Tseng so he could give them to my father?", Reno panicked slightly but remained calm after a couple of seconds "I gave them to Miss Barlow here" he blurted, gesturing to me. I was speechless, Rufus Shinra was looking directly at me and all I could do was get lost in the sea of blue in his eyes "I-ugh…" I began

"Well?" Rufus pressed, something in the back of my head then clicked

"Yes sir, I sent it to Tseng as soon as it went through the proper channels" I smiled, Rufus stared at me for a moment, then looked at Reno who gave him a lazy shrug, then back at me. My smile faded with every second that went passed, had I done something wrong? However, my thoughts quickly left my head as Rufus returned the smile "what's your name…_Miss_ Barlow"

"Teya sir" I replied, my heart beating a mile a minute

"Well, I'm sure I don't have to introduce _myself_" he chuckled and I shook my head with a grin

"No sir"

"I hope to see a lot more of you Teya" he commented before turning around to leave.

"_OH…MY…GOD!" _was the only thing that went around my head as the door slammed behind him, Reno obviously noticed my excited expression "it'll never happen y'know"

"What are you going on about Reno?" I asked knowing exactly what he was saying

"You and Rufus, it'll never work" he stated confidently "he's married to his work"

"I have no big thing for Rufus Shinra"

"I'm not going over this _again_!" Reno exclaimed. Just as he said that I looked at my watch

"Shit I'm late, got to go. Sorry Reno!" and I stood, running out of the canteen, my face getting redder every step.

Over the next couple of days I began to see a lot more of Rufus Shinra, he came into the Turks office every now and again…Reno hated it. He had grown to despise Rufus the more he came to visit, why I never really found out. `

Rufus approached me one day, it was early and no one was around "you're here early" he commented whilst lazily folding his arms and leaning against the desk "I've got a lot of work to do" I replied with a small laugh. Rufus made a "humph" sound and turned his body round so he was facing me "I could ask Tseng to lighten up the work load if your struggling if you want", there was a pause. Tseng had only _just_ started increasing my work load "oh, no thank you sir. I like a challenge…and a little pressure never hurt anyone" I had replied and Rufus smiled

"Well…if you need a break…let me know and I'll arrange it"

"Thanks sir". The young blonde had then turned his back on me and was about to go into the Turks room when he abruptly turned towards me once again "Teya…it's Rufus ok?", I had blushed insanely but I regained control and nodded. He had then disappeared and did not return.

Surely the presidents son would have enough common sense not to get involved with one of his employees! Obviously not. What was so good about me anyway? It wasn't as if I was the prettiest of girls back home, in fact I had been given the name "Spotty" in year seven for obvious reasons and that name did not leave me until I was in year ten! I had never seen myself as attractive, the only real thing I had to offer was my personality and even that was limited, my jokes were sometimes…not funny. So, my question that I was asking myself was "what have _I_ got to offer Rufus Shinra?" and the answer to that was obvious in my eyes. Nothing.

Not everybody was happy about Rufus's interest in me. Reno had almost turned green with jealousy. He hated the fact that Rufus and I got on well and he also hated that the subtle flirting that had been taking place between us had now stopped and the only thing that was said was a brief "good morning" which itself had no real enthusiasm. However it made no difference to me, the further away he was from me the better. I had no physical interest in that man.

The inn that I had been staying at all week was comfortable enough to live in but the owner of the building was getting restless, he wanted his money which I had promised he would get at the end of the week. I just hoped that my pay check would come soon or else I'd end up on the streets again. That was an eventuality I did _not_ want to reach.

* * *

It was Friday finally, in employee talk Friday meant one thing : Pay Day. My first pay check ever, in my whole life was about to be given to me and my friends and family weren't around to see it. It may sound stupid but my family always celebrate things like that…when you lose your first tooth, when you start your first job and in my case, when I became…"a lady". This was also a big thing for the "Barlow" family. Suddenly, for the first time since I had been here, I really started to think about home. Did they know I was gone? I had been here for almost a week so surely they knew. Are they looking for me? Of course they are, their my friends and family for Christ sakes! Do they know where to look? My dad did see me go out, Sarah and Jessie know the places I like to be alone anyway. Have they lost hope? Are my parents a wreck and has Jessie, the one person who has always said to me they couldn't bare to live without me, finally gone into depression? Has Sarah lost her motivation for looking so good? Do they think they've lost me forever? Just as that thought struck me my alarm started ringing, I jabbed at the snooze button until finally the music that was playing had shut up. Tonight I was working overtime, which I was pretty happy about since there would be no time for me to wallow in self pity and get depressed at the fact that I haven't been able to find out anything about that mysterious black hole or the Turks.

I stood up from my messy bed and stretched my arms with a great yawn, my eyelids were still drooping slightly but somehow I stumbled my way to the shower. The hot water woke me up, it poured over me like it was healing me, washing away all the sadness I felt and leaving me emotionless ready for the day's events to take up the empty space. I looked at myself in the mirror when I got out, my eyes had great dark circles under them, my once lovely dark flowing hair was growing at a fast pace and it was in need of a cut, and my face had become extremely pale over the week, the lack of food other than sandwiches had finally caught up with me. Well, I knew exactly what I was doing with my pay check, some of it was going to new clothes, soap, shampoo etc, some of it was going for food, some was going to the inn keeper, and the rest was going to be put back so I can start house hunting. I couldn't stay in the inn much longer, the owner had told me that in the summer the inn got awful busy so he would have to chuck me out, which is understandable in a way. That's why I decided to work overtime tonight, it may put something a little extra in that envelope I was so looking forward to getting.

As I pushed through the green transparent doors to the Shinra building I noticed Tami sat at her desk with an unusual smile on her face "Good morning Tami" I stated, stifling a yawn, she smiled at me and waved me over enthusiastically "guess what?" she said, a grin on her face becoming ever more noticeable "what?" I replied, a smile growing on my face as well

"I met this _really_ great guy last night. His names Derek and he wants me to meet him again tonight!" she squealed, getting more excited by the minute. I tried to at least put on a fake smile for her, everyone was getting their man around here. All the other women who worked here had well paid, highly respectable husbands or boyfriends who would drop dead for them. They should try living beneath the plate, what a shock that would be for them "that sounds great Tami, but be careful" I warned, even this did turn out to be a genuinely nice guy I still wouldn't lose sleep over the fact that I had warned her "Oh Teya!" she laughed "don't worry, if he turns out to be an asshole I'll just "excuse" myself to the bathroom", I giggled. Tami was very much like Jessie in a way, with a hint of Sarah thrown in. That must have been why I liked her so much.

I looked at the stack of paperwork that Tseng had left me to do last night before he left that was sitting perfectly in the middle of my desk, I groaned as I sat down "Shuriken wasn't kidding when she said Tseng was going to increase the work load" I muttered to myself and got out a pen from my drawer. Without even thinking about it I automatically set to work, my hand started to ache after a long forty five minutes of non stop writing and filing "shit this hurts!" I cursed whilst massaging my now throbbing wrist, I heard a chuckle from somewhere near the elevator. My head looked up swiftly to find none other than Reno leaning up against a wall "that's why _I'm_ here baby" he finished. He walked over to me with that same lustful smile he had had when I first came to the Shinra building, he grabbed my hand and gently rubbed his fingers on my wrist. His fingers were so soft, so warm it was hard not to close my eyes and let a sigh of pleasure. I could feel Reno's cocky smile glaring at me whilst I watched him soothe my aching arm, it wasn't a feeling I liked. I opened my eyes slowly to see Reno's face extremely close to mine, the cocky smile on his face starting easing out as he looked at my face and his hand stopped massaging my wrist. He moved his head slightly closer to mine and I could feel his warm breath edging its way closer to my lips when suddenly I pulled away from him as I smelt a familiar cologne in the air "Rufus…" I muttered as the vice president stood by the elevator watching Reno intently, his face almost purple "Reno…Teya" he nodded at both of us before heading up the stairs to his fathers office, Reno merely shrugged "now…where were we?" he grinned and lowered himself to my height again "no Reno!" I snapped and stood up, he merely grinned

"I like it when your feisty Teya" and he walked into the Turks room with a sly look on his face. GOD DAMN THAT FUCKING TURK!!!!!!

* * *

Since I was working late that night I had watched all the Turks leave, well all of them apart from Tseng and Reno. According to Shuriken they were also working late, guarding the presidents door. Great! I kept thinking that Reno was going to come out at any minute and try to seduce me again, what a sight that would be for Tseng…and what a kick out the door Reno would get…along with myself. I shuddered at the thought. I sighed and shuffled some papers on my desk, I was almost finished but I still had another hour overtime on the clock. What was I supposed to do for another hour? I let out another large sigh and rested my head in my hands, my eyes glanced down on the papers that stared back up at me in their bold black print and boring fonts. I skim read all of them about three times before looking back up at the clock, the hand hadn't even moved this caused me to groan in frustration "everything ok Miss Barlow" said a smooth but tired voice, my head jerked up at that moment. Tseng was stood in front of my desk with an unimpressed look painted on his face whilst Reno, who was stood next to him, was looking lankier than ever and had a smirk printed on his lips. I nodded whilst mumbling a quick "yes sir" before they exited for their break. As soon as the transparent elevator was out of sight I let my head fall against the harsh wood of my desk with an almighty thump, how stupid did I just look? Forget that, how stupid did I look now! Suddenly I noticed a letter on the floor, it was addressed to the president personally. Tseng must have given it to me by mistake, I guessed it was only right to give it to the president. I knew that only the Turks and the rest of Shin-ra's team leaders were allowed into the presidents office but what harm could it do? _"He could fire me" _my head thought, however I was too tired to care.

I stood up lazily and shuffled my way over to the winding stairs that I had never climbed, my hand resting on the bar that sat at the side. If I was going to even attempt to actually be in front of the president I was going to have to wake up first, I brushed my hair out of my eyes and tried to get it into _some_ sort of neat arrangement…whilst failing miserably. I sighed heavily again before putting all my wait onto the banister and pulling myself up dramatically. The stairs seemed never ending as I walked up the stone steps, my footsteps echoing all the way to the top. I had never actually met the president despite seeing his face on numerous posters and billboard around the slums. He looked so…gentle in the pictures whether that is what he is actually like is another story.

When I finally reached the top I was exhausted, why they built so many steps I will never know. I lent up against the wall to catch my breath, my eyes glanced at the large door towering over me. The silver paint that shrouded it was reflecting off the pale light on the ceiling. I knocked on it gently, no response. I knocked a little louder but still no response. I was getting frustrated now but I couldn't just barge in their, I could get fired. I knocked loader once again and this time I heard a grunt come from beyond the door, I saw this as a sign that I could enter. I lightly pushed the doors only to let out a large gasp as the doors opened automatically for me _"just like in those horror films back home"_ I thought as the image of a young teenage girl like me entering a large, vampire filled mansion and my heart raced, my hands clenched the file I held in my hand a little tighter as the light from the room beyond became ever more present. I gulped and stepped forward only to be let down by my confidence and be glued to the spot looking rather dumb with my mouth growing longer by the second when I saw the size of the presidents office. I was about to enter a large metallic room that had silver pillars on either side of the entrance, a large area was laid out before me and at the end was the president in all his glory. He was sat behind a large black and silver desk that moulded itself around him. Behind the desk sat at least ten windows that showed the view of the entire of the upper city of Midgar, it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. The lights from houses glittering like fairy lights in the dark and the Mako from the reactors glowing around the Shinra building like those glow in the dark sticks you sometimes get when you go into night clubs.

The president sighed with irritation as I had been admiring the room in front of me, he was, to put it bluntly, a fat man in a bright red suit. Which, in my opinion, was a bad choice of colour due to his blonde hair and moustache. He looked a lot less sinister than his son but he still had that look of power in his eyes "what do you want girl?" he asked sternly, by the tone of his voice I could tell his patience was wearing thin "sorry to disturb you sir but I've just come up from the Turks floor an-"

"The Turks floor?" he snapped, I nodded slowly in response "tell whatever it is you want to Tseng, don't waste my time!" he yelled and shook his hand as if to send me away

"Yes sir" I turned to leave. I didn't realise that it would be that quick and painless, I thought he would go on a huge rant about how it was informal to just barge in here with a file that I could have just…given…to…Tseng. He was right, I could've just said to Tseng on his way back up from his break that I had a file that should have gone to the president but no, I had to do it the hard way. Trust _me_.

Suddenly, something in my gut told me not to leave. Something tingled in the bottom of my stomach, a feeling I had never really warmed to. Whenever I got that feeling something went wrong big time. I stopped walking, which caught the presidents attention, and turned to him with a worried look on my face "what is it?" he asked me, the worry on my face being traced into his voice. I looked around to try and place my finger on what was bugging me…but there was nothing . Not a single thing. I made a "humph" sound with a hint of surprise when suddenly I heard smashing glass from behind me. My mind raced in those few precious seconds, _what the fuck was that?!_ The president yelled out some cursing words to the window that had been smashed and leaped up from his seat with a fright. My head turned to the source of the commotion to find glass everywhere including on the president's desk which was about ten meteres away from the window itself and a man in a long black coat stood with a gun raised to the president. It must have taken _some_ force to break the window, that stuff was thick! I stared at the man for a moment, studying his movements. He didn't seem to realise I was there for the moment so it gave me time to think of what to do next. I could run down and get Tseng and Reno but that would leave the president defencless and with a man who had a gun aiming at his head. On the other hand I could stay here and risk myself getting shot whilst trying to help the president but if I did save the president he may help me find a way to get home. I had taken some self defence classes back home and part of that was to disarm an attacker. All that was spinning in my head suddenly stopped when the man in the black coat started to talking "Shin-ra bastard" was the first thing he said, the president didn't reply he merely stared at the gun held towards him "answer me god danmit!" yelled the man, president Shin-ra shrugged "what am I supposed to do? Offer you tea and biscuits with a friendly "hello", you have a gun pointed at my face!", I hated to admit it but he had a point. Now that the president wasn't yelling I could tell that he was a posh man who knew how to use propganda very well, I could tell by the sound of his voice. It was strong and commanding but also gentle at the same time, it was one of those voices that could slowly ease into your mind and you would obey it no matter what it said. "Shut the fuck up! You Shin-ra are all the same! Your all corrupted, cocky, rich fuckups"

"Well let me ask you this. If we are…" the president paused and had a look of disgust as he said the word "…fuckups. How would you have the technology to break in here huh? How would you be able to light your homes?" the president finished with a smirk. The clocked man threw back his coat to reveal a boy of about my age, say 18, with a teary eyed look. He pulled back the hammer on his gun "y-you ruined my life", tears escaped him and I suddenly felt the urge to comfort him "m-my father d-died f-fighting for you! He died for _you_!", the president stepped foreward

"We lost a lot of people in the war son, your father was very brave. Would he want this? Your father?", the boy shook his head violently "you didn't know my father!". The president sighed

"No I didn't, I regret not knowing all of my employees". At first the presidents words seemed toally innocent… but only at first.

The president glanced at me out of the corner of his eye, I took this as a sign to do something about the situation but the question was what?

_I suppose the obvious answer was to disarm him but if I had known what the president was really like…I guess I would have let him pull the trigger and send that fat bastard all the way to hell. But I didn't know that. _

I quietly sneaked up to the man with the gun, he was ranting about how the group he worked with would defeat Shin-ra once and for all. The president stood there nodding at him as if to understand and actually care about what he was saying. As for me, I was trying not to get caught.

When I finally reached the man with the gun it took me a moment of panic to think about what I was going to do next _"it's ok, just think about what you learnt at home…and re-create" _,eaiser said then done but I had to try.

Eventually I mustered up the courge to actually do something about the situation. Without wasting another second, I grabbed the arm with the gun in and pointed it up to the ceiling. A loud bang occurred as his pulled the trigger from the shock. Hopefully Tseng and Reno would have heard that so they would come to my aid. Now, how to get the gun off him? My left knee suddenly jerked forward and hit the back of the mans shin, he let out a cry of pain as he fell to the floor. The gun that he held dropped out of his sweating hand as he grabbed his leg, I saw this as an opportunity. The gun just laid there on the floor for a few seconds before I ran to pick it up, I turned to see the president on one knee with his hands over his head. Sweat poring from his brow, he looked up at me and nodded his apporval. I suddenly felt an urge of pride in myself, I had saved President Shin-ra.

The door burst open, a very startled looking Tseng came in followed by a bored Reno. How can anyone be bored by _this_? Adrenilin was sprinting threw my vains a mile a minute. I was so hyped up I could barely breath.

Tseng grabbed the groaning man up off of the floor and held him firmly in his arms, he nodded to Reno who proceeded to grab me and whisper to me "come on". He led me out of the door and shut it behind him in one quick motion "why didn't you come and get us?" he asked sternly, that playful cheer he normally had gone "well I couldn't just let the president stand there with a gun to his head could I?"

"He seemed to have things well under control" Reno bit back, I glared at him

"I had no other way of getting to you other than leaving the room, if I had made one sound both the president and I would be dead!" I yelled, Reno winced. He had no answer to that and I wasn't surprised because he knew I was right.

_Bang_.

I jumped as the sound ringed through my ears. I stopped walking, my legs refused to move as the sound ricocheted through the building. Reno tried to pull me forward, as if he had never even heard the sound. His hands now grasping my arms in a last attempt to get me to move but nothing worked, I was in a trance. That sound had never sounded so scary . When the gun fired in the presidents office it wasn't as scary because I knew what had happened but now I didn't, what had happened?

_Thump_.

My breathing got heavier as Reno stared at me with panic in his eyes, he grabbed me by the shoulders and looked me in the eyes. I felt sick as his words came flooding out of his mouth "listen to me, go down to the reception and I'll be down in a minute. I need to clean up". The he left without a word, retreating back into the presidents office making sure I didn't see what was going on in the room.

I ran down the stairs, my heart racing. I knew that someone had fired a gun and someone was dead, there was no doubt about that. I had never heard a real gun shot before, not unless it was in a film anyway. In the movies it had sounded so fake, you knew that no one had actually lost their life and that the gun was filled with a blank. But not this time. The sound was different, it was real. Someone had died tonight but who? As I reached the recption my breathing quickened its pace as did my sweat. I was panicking for no reason, I had done nothing wrong…I didn't think I had anyway. What if Tseng or the president were hurt? What if Reno was in danger? I was all alone in the reception, it was a creepy sight to see. Normally it would be filled with people going through their day to day jobs, like Tami for example but now it was silent, deathly silent. I could even hear the sound of my own heart beat.

Reno came sprinting down the stairs at that point, he was panting and sweating, he was covered in blood.

_I suppose, if I think about it hard enough, I should have reacted differently. I should have demanded to know what was going on but I was so afraid. Seeing him run down those stairs, his white shirt now crimson, it just made my body go numb. _

I felt sick, who's blood was that? I scanned Reno for a moment before I gatherd that the blood was not his, he had no cuts on his body, from what I could see anyway. He didn't say a word, merely stared at me whilst attempting to catch his breath, I made the first move "Reno…" was all I could muster up.

He waved his hand in front of my face "listen to me…" he started "go home, go to bed and get to sleep. Don't metion this to anyone, you understand?" he finished, I just stared at him in confusion but that was a mistake. Reno's temper then flared up "Teya for fuck sake! Did you even hear a word I just fuckin said?!" he yelled, I winced. Reno saw me cower away from him and his eyes went from angry to soft in a second, he sighed "Teya…please don't…I-…you have to go Teya" he said solemnly, I shrugged

"But why?"

"Teya, they'll kill you if you don't!" Reno stated, I stared at him with no hint of what was going on inside my head "who will?" was the only thing that I said. Reno sighed once more and fear had replaced his once cocky, cheerful atmposphere "I will" he finally said but he gave me no time to respond "now listen god damnit! Go home, go to bed and forget tonight. If _anyone_ asks you any questions about tonight, deny everything! You didn't see, hear or do anything ok?".

* * *

"_You didn't see, hear or do anything ok?" _. His words repeated themselves in my head as I tried to block out the nasty images I had witnessed today _"They'll kill you if you don't………I will"_ but it didn't seem to be working. I had saved the presidents life, I should be getting promoted…well at least getting to know what the hell jus happened anyway. But I guess it didn't work like that.

The one image that wont go away is the one of Reno telling me that he would kill me. He wouldn't…he couldn't, he was my friend and what had I done wrong? It wasn't as if I saw some classified information, I had saved the presidents life. None of this made sense, the black holes, the Turks, Shin-ra, Midgar NOTHING! I burried my head in my pillow and screamed at the top of my lungs. I had no way of getting home, I was living in a place that soon I wouldn't be able to aford and if I wasn't careful I may even be killed by the people I classify as friends. This is place disgusted me.

After Reno had forced me out of the building I had decided to take a little walk around, I don't really know why. I guess it was just that I was a bit shook up about the whole situation. As I wondered around I had found a newspaper lying on the floor, it was old and crumpled up. The ink on the paper was running down the page from water. I didn't really understand that since I was in the slums and there was a gigantic plate over my head. The main head line read : _WUTAI WAR OFFICIALY OVER_. This was exactly what I wanted, at least my questions about the war would be anwered.

As I skim read through the article certain things about Shin-ra jumped out at me, like the fact that Shin-ra had reactors all over the world to generate electricity, in every country, in every town, in every village there was a machine that would suck up energy from the ground. I also learnt that Wutai had rebelled against the reactor, they didn't want the machine in their town. Shin-ra was obviously displeased, they tried to reason with Wutai but they wouldn't listen so they resulted to force. The war finally ended after eight years when Shin-ra, well actually a member of SOILDER named Zack Fair, took over Fort Tamblin. The main settlement for Wutai's rebellious group. _Why would Wutai rebel against the reactor? And why were Shin-ra so desperate to place a reactor there? _

The number of casulties on either side was never found out…but many of SOILDER never returned from battle. After Fort Tamblin was gained by Shin-ra Wutai had no choice but to give in to Shin-ra and have a reactor built on their homeland. Wutai, once a great land of wisdom, materia and history, was now reduced to a tourist attraction.

I gulped and threw the paper to the floor to where it had once rested. Wutai had been turned into dust…because of Shin-ra. A sudden jolt of anger raced through every cell in my body _"Shin-ra…" , I hardly knew anything about them and already I hated them. _


	3. Making A Start

My hatred for Shin-ra had only increased over the next couple of days. Every single person in the building ignored me, everyone apart from Tami of course. All of this was because I had saved the presidents life, I was so confused _"Next time I'll let the bastard die" _I mumbled to myself in my head. If I said that out loud I would probably be thrown out…or worse.

Reno's words still went around and around my head, why would he kill me? What had I done? Reno couldn't be capable of killing somebody could he? He was too…normal to be able to kill someone. He seemed the type of person who wouldn't be able to live with himself if he took someones life. Knowing that he's taken someones father, mother, son, daughter, brother or sister. Knowing that he's caused someone unbearable pain…pain that will last longer than any fractured bone or cut.

Shuriken stepped out the elevator, her normal cheerful self not present this morning, I had not seen her smile since the night of the attack. She didn't look at me, it was as if I wasn't there, that also was something that _all_ of the Turks had been doing recently. Even Reno. This wasn't fair, I had been working here for merely three weeks and already I had fucked up. Then again when was life ever fair? I was in this place, a place that was slowly driving me insane "Teya?" said a voice, I wanted to block it out, I couldn't take anymore information or pain "Teya, are you ok?" the voice said again

"Shut up" I mumbled trying to stop the headache that was beginning to grow in my head

"Teya, lift your head up for me"

"Huh?" I replied dumbly, I hadn't realised my head was down. I slowly lifted my head from something cold and opened my eyes. Rufus was stood in front of me with an emotionless expression, I sighed as I realised I must have fallen asleep. I hadn't been getting enough sleep over the past few days, the fear of more rebellious attacks and what Reno had said kept me on edge every second "Teya?" Rufus said to me, placing the tip of his index finger on my chin and lifting my head up to look at him "…sir?"I said with a shaky voice, I heard him sigh "you know I could get you into a _lot_ of trouble for sleeping on the job?". My head registerd those words after a minute or two and my awareness of the situation was becoming clearer "so fire me,I don't care" I bit back before shuffling a pile of papers that I had knocked to the floor whilst I was asleep, Rufus raised an eyebrow at me "what's wrong?" he asked sympathetically "what's wrong?" I repeated "what's wrong is that everyone in the who building is completely ignoring me for saving _your_ old man!" I seethed, Rufus placed his hands on the desk and leand in closer to me "I'm not ignoring you" he whispered . At this point I just didn't care what happened to me, in my view I had nothing left to _live_ for. So what difference was a job going to do? "One person does _not_ make a difference"I replied, he shrugged

"Teya, I'm vice president. I _can_ make a difference"

"Status in the company means nothing to me!" I spat, how dare he think that just because he was vice president he could make it all go away! It was insulting! "Then why are you telling me all this?"

"Because you asked and I answered". There was a pause, normally it would be akward to me but all I craved for was silence. I craved that never ending pit of darkness where no one could hurt me anymore "what do you want me to say Teya?" Rufus asked, straightening himself up as he did. I ran a hand threw my hair and looked him in the eye "I want you to say "pack your things and get out of her"" I replied being deadly serious however Rufus did not seem surprised by this "you and I both know that I'm not going to say that"

"I know"I nodded with an honset tone "the question is why" I added quickly before he could just dismiss the matter. Rufus's mouth twitched slightly as my words came out dripping in venom, but after a while of contemplating his answer he finaly spoke "I like you Teya, very much. I admire your confidence towards people like me. You're the type of person that this company needs running it. Losing someone like you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless. And plus, I know that I would suffer greatly from the thought of not seeing your charming face nearly every morning" he explained. When he finished I wished that I had not brought the conversation up, I had no answer, no way to defend myself. I was not expecting him to tell me anything, merely lie and say he would have to find a new receptionist. I looked down at my desk and started signing some papers "your father didn't say he wanted to see you, why are you here?" I asked, trying not to sound too curious so he would leave me the hell alone, I heard Rufus shuffle on the spot and clear his throat "I wanted to thank you for saving my father…and the company"

"I thought you would be cursing me, if your father had been killed, you would be in charge of Shin-ra" I replied, I looked up at him with a hint of anger in my face. Rufus looked shocked at what I had just said "in charge or not, he is still my father". He turned on his heel and headed for the elevator.

_Looking back, I wish I hadn't said that to him, he was only thanking me. But a lot of things were going on, I had to take my frustration out on _someone_. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. _

The vice president entered the elveator as the fiery red haired Turk came out of it, his face made me sick. All of this was so stupid. No longer could I see that cheerful attitude of his even when it was on show, all I saw was that blood…and his words. At first he walked straight past me, not caring that he was pretending that I didn't exist just as he did every day. Suddenly he turned, his eyes on me and my eyes on him. He took a few steps towards me, a few steps too close "you got something to say to me? Or will you have to kill me after" I snapped sarcastically, Reno sighed and shook his head

"No, Tseng wanted me to give this to you" he replied whilst throwing an envelope on my desk, obviously my pay check "why are _you_ giving this to me?"

"Tseng's not going to be in today so he asked me to give it to you" he stated,I shrugged

"Fine whatever". I took the envelope and put it in my jacket pocket, I would check it later , at the moment I was not in the mood. Reno still stood there staring at me, I refused to speak. He could have stood there all day for all I cared "Teya I-"

"Havn't you got somewhere to be?" I asked. Reno grinded his teeth and leaned up against the wall opposite my desk with anger in his eyes "no actually I havn't so if it's alright with you I think I'll just stand here!" he yelled, I scoffed

"Well actually I do mind you standing there!" I yelled, contradicting my own thoughts

"Well tough luck kid!" he smirked. My temper was growing at a fast pace, obviously he didn't know me well enough to know that when I was in a bad mood, you didn't want to talk back to me "one, I am no kid. Two, you're a complete and total ass hole and three, get the fuck outta here!". Reno merely laughed at me "stop laughing and go into your little Turk room with your Turk friends and do whatever the hell it is you do in there!" I snapped, Reno's laughter came to a halt

"You know I didn't choose to be a Turk. No one ever does. I didn't grow up wanting to be who I am now!" he replied, a sad look on his face. His words stung me for some reason, changing my mood in a second

"Who are you now?" I replied softly, knowing that if he answered me I was not going to like what he said. Reno stared at me with a gleam of sadness in his eyes, as if he was remembering things that were best left forgotten "Reno?" I asked but he didn't reply, he just stared at me. I stood up from my desk and walked around to him, I put my hands on his shoulders "Reno?" I repeated, his eyes never left mine

"Teya…I'm not me…not who I used to be" he whispered, I traced one of his red tattoos with my thumb softly "who are you now?" I asked again, dying for an answer. Reno leaned his head over my ear and whispered "if I told you that, I _would_ have to kill you" and then he left with a smirk. I was left alone with another puzzle, it seemed like that was what this world was made up of…puzzles. Questions that everybody but me were afraid of answering, but that wasn't going to stop me from getting them. Only then did I realise that Reno had spoken the same words as Tami, who are the Turks?!

At my break I went down to the reception area to see Tami, she had been off sick the day before so I wanted to see if she was feeling better. She was sitting at her desk, shutting down her computer for her break, locking her desk and making sure everything was in a neat order "hey Tami" I said with a smile, my foul mood from earlier had melted away, it was either because I was looking forward to this break or I was happy that Reno had finally spoke to me. Tami stood up and smiled at me "hey Teya, you ok?", I nodded and leaned up against her desk

"So, how's Derek?" I asked with sly smile, Tami chuckled

"I ended up using the bathroom option" she sighed, I gave her a sincere look

"Sorry to hear that Tami, do you wanna grab a coffee or something. I just got paid so it'll be my treat!" I grinned at her, hoping that the sound of a hot drink and a good old gossip would cheer her up. She nodded and grabbed her coat.

The weather outside was dark as per usual, the greeny-grey sky never ceasing to shock me every time I went outside. The streets weren't crowded, then again they wouldn't be. The only people on the plate were the people who worked at Shin-ra which, if you look at the amount of the people in the slums, were not many.

Tami had been telling me about how Derek had used her like Reno and had said that Reno was worse because she had to face him everyday. I still coudnt quite get over how a man like Reno could do such a thing "so how are things with you and Reno?" Tami asked, plucking me out of my thoughts and into the conversation "ugh, we're…just friends" I stated with surprise that she had asked that question, she raised an eyebrow "has he been flirting?" she continued

"At first he was but now…he seems so…vunrable" I replied, Tami scoffed

"Probably another trick to get you into bed with him. You hang in there ok? If you can say no to Reno, there's not a women who can't" she grinned, I smiled back at her but that smile faded away as I thought about what she had just said. Surely Reno was not putting on an act just to see if I would… Tami sighed "Oh come on Tami" I said cheerfully "there are plenty more fish in the sea", Tami took a sip of her coffee and sat on a nearby bench "not in Midgar there isn't" she replied

"What do you mean?" I asked, surprised by Tami's mood. Tami chuckled

"You can really tell your new to Midgar y'know"

"You can?" I asked feeling slightly worried that I looked like an idiot, Tami nodded with a smile

"Don't worry about it, like I said before I 've seen worse" she paused "I mean that all men in Midgar are jerks"

"Not _all_ of them surely, I mean Tseng seems quite nice"

"Tseng is from Wutai" she replied quickly

"What about Rude?" I asked, making a note of that

"He's from down south, I'm not exactly sure where…Mideel I think" she shrugged, I sighed, pretending to know where she was talking about was hard enough, but then quickly thought of something "what about Rufus Shin-ra?". Tami spat out her coffee

"Rufus fucking Shin-ra?!" she yelled out with laughter "you have _got_ to be kidding me"

"What's wrong with Rufus?"

"Nothing, that's the point. No one is good enough for Rufus Shin-ra and that in turn is his flaw" she explained but I was still confused "wait, what?" I asked, Tami let out a low chuckle

"Ever met someone who was _irritatingly _perfect?", my mind went back to Jack. Perfect all around. I nodded to Tami "yeah I've met someone like that"

"That's Rufus Shin-ra" she finished taking a well earned sip of her drink before throwing it in the trash can next to her "there's only one Rufus Shin-ra in Midgar, and the rest are Reno's". I nodded to show I understood "so whats the difference between Tseng and a man from Midgar?"

"Ever heard of Don Corneo?" she asked, I nodded remember my first night here, I shuddered and Tami saw "exactly. Men who have been born and brought up in Midgar have been brought up with _that_. They see women as tools"

"But you said most of the women in Shin-ra had fancy husbands who buy them everything they could ever want and treat them with respect. You said they were happy"

"All of their husbands don't come from Midgar. Shin-ra try to employ as many people as possible from all over Gia. It's a way of letting people know that we are a multi-cultural company. Women from Midgar meet them, there's a little romance and boom, you've got another happy marriage" Tami exhaled, I smirked "so the people who are brought up with people like Don Corneo are bastards is that correct?", Tami nodded

"And Reno is the biggest one of em all!" she laughed, I couldn't help but laugh to, She really did hold a grudge against Reno, surely someone could get over it. It wasn't as if he had stolen her confidence "so I take it Reno was brought up like the rest of them then?" I asked, knowing the answer already. I was hoping she would say something that may give me an idea as to why she hated him so much but I doubted it "actually no, Reno was born into a rich family but he ran away from home when he was ten to start a life of his own. He practically bought his way into Shin-ra, he payed Shin-ra to let him join the Turks. The twat just turned into a fuckup all on his own" she explained ,_bingo_

"That bastard!" I mumbled harshly

"What's wrong?" Tami asked, I shook my head at her

"Reno told me he never wanted to be a Turk when he was a kid" I spat, Tami scoffed

"I hate to say this but I told you so". Normally if someone said that to me I would be furious because most of them time they were wrong but in this case she was right.

* * *

I didn't see Reno for the rest of the day, but if I did I would have slapped him. In fact I didn't see _any_ of the Turks all day. They weren't in the canteen at lunch either and if any of the Turks had been there it would have been Reno. I was extremely curious but I didn't want to push my luck any further with the Turks, I had caused enough trouble by…doing whatever the hell it is I did.

It was the end of the day and I was sorting papers into my file cabinet when suddenly I heard a screeching sound from above me, it was like a bird. I put my hands over my ears because it was so loud "what the he-" another scream "argh!" I yelled as the pain went straight through my ears . It was so high pitched, it stung, I fell to my knees as another scream came from the floor above me, I screamed as the sound pierced threw me like a bullet. I felt a liquid on my hand, I looked at it and found blood all over my hands, I started to panic as another screech came. I screamed again as the pain wouldn't go away. More blood came from my ears, it wasn't a lot but enough to scare the hell out of me. With what little strength I had left, I stood up and grabbed my coat. With the screaming noise in the backround and a never ending pain seeping through every part of me it didn't take me long to tell myself that I had to get out of here. I ran to the elevator and jabbed the button, eventually the machine got the message that I really needed to get out of here as I had jabbed it about fifty times. The elevator started to move down and the screaming slowly went away, silence crept in and it had never seemed so good. Silence is golden. My ears ached and the blood was starting to dry on the outer rim of my ear, along with my ears, my head also throbbed. That scream was so immense, whatever that was it sounded in pain.

I stepped off the train and into the slums, the air was thick as usual, I coughed as the unclean air entered my lungs. What I would have given to live up on the plate. There were people up late as per usual, they were still selling things at their stalls and making their way through the life cycle. Since I had been here I had no time to look at the market that seemed to never end in the slums but now that I had my pay check and it was my day off tomorrow I could finally have a good look around and get to know some people.

I walked into the inn to find the landlord standing behind the desk talking to some people who were paying for a room, it just reminded me that I owed him money. I sighed and reached into my jacket pocket to get the envelope in there, my thumb slid under it with ease and I peered inside. Luckly Shin-ra had given my pay to me in gil not a check. This would make it easier to pay the inn keeper. I counted it out, I had one thousand gil in the envelope. Back home that would be considered a lot but in Midgar it was hardly anything.

I walked up to the desk once the couple who were paying for a room had finished their buissness "hey" I said cheerily, the inn keeper smiled at me "hello Teya, work ok?" he asked, I could tell by the tone of his voice he ment "hello Teya, did you get paid today?" then again, I couldn't blame him, I had held off paying him for a while "yeah thanks, I got some money for you" I replied, his smile grew

"Oh lovely Teya"

"So, what's the damage?" I asked, the inn keeper laughed and pulled out a sheet of paper from under the desk "four hundred gil" he stated, I sighed

"You know, if the inn wasn't so nice and cosy I'd kick up a fuss" I joked whilst handing him the money, the inn keeper chuckled "sweet talking will get you no where little miss, in any case that includes another two weeks here so don't worry", I gave him a warm smile

"Thank you".

* * *

I laid on my bed thinking. That was all I ever did these day, think. It was a way of passing time, I hadn't realised how homework was so time consuming but it saved me from boredom. I couldn't sleep, it was that scream. That awful noise, it sounded so real, like it was slowly dying. Where had that come from? It was far to loud to be an electrical malfunction…especially when you were working in an electric company. Although my suspicions of Shin-ra were growing at a fast rate, surely they had to be more. What was with all the secrecy? Why did people hate them so much? And why was there a war just because Wutai refused to have a reactor?!

_Maybe some things…are better off not answered._

My curiosity was also getting larger, I would find out sooner or later. The idea of knowing was just too tempting to resist. Something at the back of my head was telling me not to go any further, to stop right where I was and except that Shin-ra were just a normal electric power company but there was another side of me telling me to find out because if I don't I'll always be wondering. But which side to liten too was becoming more and more clear. Curiosty was the way forward. I had to know.

As I lay thinking about Shin-ra and the Turks my mind wandered to Reno as it often did. Why that was I didn't know, I just found him interesting. What he had said to me ealier had been running around my mind all day, not just the fact that he had lied to me but what he had said about not being who he used to be. What did he mean by that? Maybe Reno was a proud man before Shin-ra. Maybe he was from a wealthy backround and was doing quite well for himself until he got involved with the Turks. Maybe Reno was a…gentlmen before all of this. I scoffed to myself, I could not imagine Reno as a gentlmen but stranger things have happened…like me ending up here for example! What _was_ that hole? You often hear these things about rips in time and dimensions from people who think they've seen aliens but you don't believe them! But I was really here, it was all true. I was in a different world! Maybe not the friendliest of worlds but a different one none the less. What I had wanted back home, to just dissapear from my home and go to a perfect world had actually happened, I guess they didn't overreact when they said "be careful what you wish for".

I had to stop thinking about home, my hand wondered onto the desk next to me and grabbed the envelope that was still pretty thick. I would have to find somewhere safe to keep the money tomorrow. My fingers pulled out a pile of gil and laid it on the bed, I wanted to check that I had given the right amount of money. I only had six hundred gil left, that would be nothing compared to how much others get paid, I was just lucky to get paid even at all! I didn't think I would have any money left to keep back for a normal house here. It didn't surprise me, once I had some essentials, _that_ was the time to start house hunting. Tommorow I would treat myself to new clothes and a meal then I could actually start settling down.

* * *

The day came quickly, well at least I _think_ it was day. For almost four weeks I had not seen a glimpse of sunlight, rain or heard the crackling sound of thunder and lightening, merely darkness. Despite that, I had to smile. I was finally going to be able to take a look around without that irritating red head following me and annoying me so. For some reason I was excited, the only places I had seen in Midgar were Wall Market and the Shin-ra building.

I sat up in bad with haste and rubbed my sweaty hands over my eyes to wake myself up. I chuckled to myself, all of the Turks would already be at work…apart from Reno of course. Knowing him, he would be layng in bed still, curled up asleep.

In Midgar, the one thing that felt better than anything else in the whole god damn world was a shower, it just felt so good. The way the water washed over me, cleansing me and relaxing me. I took it for granted back home but never again. If I ever did get home that is, who knows what will happen to me and if I were to be completely honest. I didn't care. My insides cringed when I thought that, a sickening feeling swamped me and I told myself to never think that again. Of course I wanted to go home. This was not my life, nor was this my future it was merely my present. I will _not_ be staying here for the rest of my life.

I ran down the stairs of the inn, zipping up my jacket as I did, I waved to the inn keeper as I I walked out of the door with a brief "good morning" escaping my lips. Whether he heard me or not was another matter.

The town was practically empty, at first I panicked because the thought crossed my mind that there may not be a market on today. Surely there would be, it was Saturday for christ sake, the day most people didn't have work and were ready to spend their like me. I sighed as I wondered for a little bit around Wall Market, even though I lived in this place I was still very cautious as to where I went. After my first night, I shuddered at the thought of what would have happened to me if I had been taken to Don Corneo's mansion…or brothel.

In the morning the air wasn't clear, it was thickly green and you could barely see. What caused the green air was another question that I wanted answered but my immediate guess was that the smoke from Shin-ra's reactors sometimes leaked down into the slums. And when I say "sometimes" I mean all the time. Another thing about the morning that made it eerie was the noise, there was nothing. Not a bird, not even a gust of wind to make up for the deafening silence. It reminded me of a library only quieter, you didn't have the constant turning of pages or the sound of key's being typed onto the keyboard. My feet shuffled along the ground, kicking a small pebble that had gone astray from somewhere, at least I thought it was a pebble. It was dark and round, good enough for me. It drowned out the silent as it his the ground with a small "tap" when suddenly I heard shuffling from somewhere, I turned around swiftly to see someone setting up their stall for the day. A sigh of relief found it's way out of me and I walked up to the person with a smile on my face "hi" I said hopefully, they turned around to reveal a young women just a bit older than me with light brown hair, blue eyes and a warm smile "hello, can I help you?" she asked politely, maybe some people weren't as bas as I judged them to be "yeah, I'm new in town and I was just wondering whether you can tell me if there is a place where I can get some essentials?", she cocked her head to one side

"Essentials?"

"Yeah, like clothes and soap" I replied, why I said soap I will never know but it was the first thing that came to mind, the woman nodded her head "oh yeah, sorry dear it's early an all" she chuckled "yeah! You can get all the stuff here in Wall Market! You see those bulding behind you?" she asked, I turned on my heel to see a bunch of building lined up against each other "yeah" I replied

"Well, just up north there's a clothes store and if your looking for things like shampoo and soap then you best go to the pharmacy, he'll be setting up soon. You better go to the clothes store first though because they get busy this time of year" she finished, I nodded my thanks and made my way up to the clothes store. As I trudged up there her words seemed to stick in my mind _"they get busy this time of year" _how did they know what time of year it was for heavens sake!

I finally came to the clothes store, it wasn't much not that I was expecting anything too grand. It was merely an old shack with some pictures of clothes stuck onto it but it was better then nothing. A yellow neon sign that said "open" shone brightly on the door so I pushed open the wodden door and looked around inside. It was your average shop in many ways, kind of like Primark in many ways except smaller. No one was aound so I had a look around, some of the clothes were beautiful. A black satin hatlerneck dress was put onto one of the models, if it had not been expensive I would have bought it "Can I help you?" asked a timid voic, I turned and saw another young women stood behind the counter looking at me with curious eyes. She was a lot older than me but I would say not much older than thrity "yes, I'm looking for some…well just everyday wear to be perfectly honest and I'm new to the city so I don't have the slightest clue where to start!" I chuckled, the women gave me a warm smile

"I know how you feel. Where do you work? In the slums?" she asked, I wondered why that was important "no" I replied, shaking my head "I work for Shin-ra. I'm a receptionist for the Turks". There was a pause, the women turned to look at me, a hint of fear now surrounded her "the Turks you say?" was al she said, I nodded. Another uncomfortable pause. "Well if it's Shin-ra your working, you'll be wanting to dress in a normal shirt and trousers" she finished, handing me a white cotton blouse and black tousers "how did you guess my size?" I asked, looking at the tags only to find she was correct. I heard her chuckle "that's my job dear".

After a good hour or so of being handed different things to try on I ended up with a few work outfits (the same thing but in different colours), some casual wear which consisted of some brightly coloured jumpers, skirts, a pair of jeans and a few t-shirts, and finally some party clothes…just in case. It came to a total of three hundered and fifty gil, not bad I guessed. I did have a lot there. Before I left I asked the women if there was a good hairdressers in town, she pointed me in the right direction and I thanked her for her kindness. It was nice to see _some_ people were still friendly in this place.

The hairdressers was next on my list, then the pharmacy, then the resturant and then finally back to the inn. I had no idea what to expect when it came to a salon, I was in the slums so what was I supposed to do if the hairdresser was an over weight slob who was going to be cutting my hair with plastic scissors? Surely not, the slums weren't _that_ bad, the clothes had been better than I had expected so why not this?

Eventually I stirred up the courage to go in, what I found was slightly suprising…and then slightly not. It was simple enough, a few people were having their hair trimmed by a professional looking group of hairdressers. They were sitting on a bar stool but hey, it didn't have to be perfect . A lot of the people waiting gave me an odd look as I walked in, surprised to see someone from the slums with so many bags I guessed. I waddled over and sat down with them,I just kept thinking to myself that I would only ever have to do this once every six months as one by one, the people sitting next to me, got to go and get the job done. Eventually it was my turn, I had no clue as to what I wanted done or how much it would cost but I didn't really care, as long as I didn't look like a complete arse then it was fine by me.

A man in a jacket and jeans came up to me with a suspicious look on his face "havn't seen you around here before" he said, I looked up at him with no answer ready

"I-I'm new" I managed to get out, the man grunted

"Alright then, come with me" he replied whilst flicking back his jet black hair out of his eyes "so, what do you want done then eh?" he asked, fiddling with a few pieces of strands of hair in front of my eyes

"Well what do you think?" I mumbled, trying not to sound as if I had no clue whatsoever, the man sighed and thought for a moment "well, I could layer it for you and then shape it around your face. Of course I would trim it and even put in a fringe if you want?" he stated with pure confidence, I chuckled and nodded enthusiastically, the man seemed pleased by this "great! Shall we get started?".

* * *

I hadn't realised how talented the people of the slums could be, for people who had next to nothing they sure knew their stuff. My hair had turned out quite smart, and much to my surprise I actually liked it. It wasn't common for me to like a hair style that someone had done for me in a shop and for thrity gil, it sure as hell wasn't bad.

I had decided, after I had picked up some things from the pharmacy, to skip the meal. I was far too tierd to even move. All I wanted to do was to go back to the inn and go to sleep. Of course I would have to sort a few things out first, like my wardrobe and how I was going to get my hair to stay in the style it was. With no hair dryer, straightners or tongs I had no clue how to get it looking right. Luckly the pharmacy had basic things like hair brushes and hair spray which again surprised me.

Once I put everything away and stored the rest of my money away somewhere safe, I collapsed on the bed with my legs and arms throbbing . How I had got so tierd from a few hours on my feet I did not know but all that mattered now was the fact that the horrible task of shopping was done and I felt a whole lot better. I wouldn't have to do _that_ again for another few weeks hopefully. My eyes closed slightly and glanced at th clock, it read 7:30 pm. Was I really out for _that_ long?! I closed my eyes fully and thought of how I was going back to work the next day, I sighed at the thought. Time to face the Turks, the president, Shin-ra…Rufus. I decided to apologise for what I had said to him the other day, it was rude of me to say such a thing. The look of shock on his face when I said it…it was as if I had thrown a glass of red wine over his perfect white three piece suit. He deserved and apology, eaiser said than done. I had never been good at saying sorry, I hated feeling as if I was the weaker person but even I knew when it was the right thing to do, and now was one of those times.

Now that I think about it, what Rufus had said to me the previous day was quite flattering but from what I heard he wasn't looking for a long term relationship however he seemed to look like the type of person who wouldn't want the hassel of hundreds of women. I guessed the term "you can't judge a book by it's cover" came into that situation…a lot. What was I thinking? This is Rufus Shin-ra! The head honcho, the person in charge, the person who would have me run out of town with one word! And anyway, the thought of a romantic relationship with anyone from Midgar was the last thing on my mind, I still needed to find out what the hell was going on and by the looks of it I wouldn't be finding out too soon. I checked the local newspaper over and over again every single day but nothing, not one god damn iregular thing. It was like I was being punished for something.

Just as tears started to slide down my face at the thought of never leaving I felt a vibration in my pocket, it made me jump at first causing one of my tears to run into my mouth. It tasted bitter, almost salty….just like I felt, I had never been able to figure out why tears had such an odd taste, it had bugged me ever since I was a small child. The vibration continued in my pocket, at first I was afraid to look what it was but curiosity consumed me. I reached down to feel something long a metal like shaking violently in my pocket, I lifted it out to find my phone wriggling in my hand. A wave of shock hit me, my phone! Of course! Why hadn't I thought of it before?! It suddenly occurred to me to actually look at the screen to see who calling me, it was Jessie! Jessie. Jessie! Jessie was calling me! I slid it up hurridly, nearly dropping it in the process, and let out a sigh of relief as I heard her voice yell over the phone "Teya!" she yelled, her voice shaky and filled with worry. It was just a wonder to hear her voice, for weeks I had not seen her and finally I could speak to her, even if she couldn't get me out of here, it was a relief just to speak to her "Jessie!" I replied, wiping some tears from my eyes

"Teya?!" she yelled down the phone

"Jessi I'm here! I' m ok!" a wave of relief cleansing me as I heard her voice, a brief smile appeared on my face "Teya, you there?!" ….then the smile was gone and panic had settled in

"Huh? **Jessie!**"

"Teya? Answer me Teya please!"

"Jessie I'm here…speak to me- please!" I yelled,fresh tears running down my face

"Teya! If your there, everyone's really worried about you, come home please! Where are you? Come home Teya…safe", the line went dead after that

"I'm trying Jessie…I'm trying" I whispered before slamming the phone shut and throwing it across the room in a tear filled anger fit, a scream emitting from me as I did. It wasn't fair! I had done nothing wrong! I sat up for a while, thinking about what Jessie had said. Everyone worried? Come home? The words never really sank in, not until I laid down and shut my eyes.


	4. Welcome To Shinra

That morning I went into the Shinra building early, I was hoping to catch Rufus before he went off and did whatever he did during the day, I also wanted to get most of my work done so I could go down and speak to Tami, I needed a friend. The corridors were silent again, it reminded me of that night when Reno came down soaked in blood, I shivered and tried to block the thought from my mind as I made my way up to Rufus's office. The vice president decided to put his office on the floor above the Turks, then came his fathers. It was helpful, I wouldn't go barging in with my coat and files that I had taken home to finish yesterday evening . Before I went into his office I straightened myself up, I was only wearing a black jumper with a white collar and black trousers. Different but acceptable…hopefully. My hair was finally clean and shiny, bouncing it with my fingers, it flicked up back into its original position which made me smile. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door, time to face the music, I heard a grunt and I opened the door slowly. Rufus was stood next to his window looking out onto the plate beneath him, he didn't bother looking at who was in his office merely shuffled in his spot, I shut the door behind me and studied the room. It was nothing like his fathers, instead of being huge it was a small square with a bookshelf in the corner with a few plants ontop of it, a wooden desk sat in the middle with a few pictures of Rufus with, what looked like, his mother with him. The window Rufus was stood by wasn't as big as the presidents however it still made the windows in my bedroom look like mouse holes. My heart tightened as the thought of home squeezed into my head, I cleared my throat to rid the memory from my mind. Rufus turned on his heel and looked quite surprised to see me, he looked at me up and down and smiled "nice clothes" he mumbled, I blushed

"Thank you sir"

"I told you not to call me that"

"Force of habit sir" I replied with a sly smile, Rufus chuckled and stared at me for a moment or two before continuing "what can I do for you Teya?"

"I wanted to apologise for what- for what I did the other day" I mumbled, once again the fault of me not being very good at apologising to people wrecked the tone of my voice, I didn't sound serious. I was embarrassed and giggly. Rufus cocked his head to one side, I sighed "sorry, I'm not good at these things" I whispered, begging fate that he didn't hear me but fate wasn't with me, he laughed

"No neither am I, that's why I don't have a girlfriend or anything. I'm not one for…telling people how I feel"

"Well sir, I'm sorry. It was rude and cruel of me to say" I sighed, looking him in the eye, Rufus smiled and nodded whilst placing his hands in his pockets "apology excepted Teya", I sighed with relief

"Thank Gia" I whispered "ok…" I began before clapping my hands together "I'd better get going" I smiled before turned on my heel "Teya?" Rufus called, I turned to see him leaning up against his desk

"Yes?"

"My father wants to speak to you today,I-ugh know your not in any trouble but…", my heart pounded

"What?" I pushed whilst turning fully toward him, he cleared his throat

"Just…oh you'll find out" he smirked, I nodded gratefully knowing that if I asked to much I may upset him. I left without another word, for some unknown reason to me, I did not fear that "talk" I was going to have with the president, if it was as scary as my conversation with Rufus then I would be fine

I walked down the empty corridors, thinking about my previous conversation with Rufus. How can anyone match up to him? It's was pretty obvious that Rufus felt _something _for me but despite how insanely handsome he was, he just wasn't for me. The building was starting to fill up now, I passed Tami's desk when I went down to the reception to pick up some files. My mind seemed to forget that President Shin-ra wanted to see me, not that it really mattered to me anyway. I had saved the mans life, he should be giving me a huge pay rise!

Over the past month I had finally become used to my surroundings. Much like home, it was the same routine everyday but an extremely different rountine. The people who worked at Shin-ra seemed to recognise me more and more as each day passed , they would smile and wave especially the Turks who were now speaking to me like they were when I had first arrived

I sat at my desk staring at sheets of paper with black ink printed on them and I got to work, picking up a pen I scribbled down dates, times, numbers and email adresses along with my signeture of approval on files that had to be put through channels. Same old, same old. This job had it's perks though. For instance Reno. Everyday he came out with a witty new line to try and get me to say yes to his request for a date but, as predicted, I always declined. I didn't just say no because of what Tami had told me, it was also quite amusing to see the red heads reaction when I said no. His brow would turn into a frown and his eyes would gleam with annoyance, that cocky smile wouldn't make an appearance and the smugness in his voice when he spoke would not even be hinted . I did laugh sometimes when I saw the sight, Reno often looked at me puzzled which made me laugh even harder but a part of me felt sorry for him in a way, all he wanted was a date. It didn't intentially mean I was going to sleep with him did it? Well, it was better not to take the risk. And besides I was still angry at him for lying to me…or maybe he was lying to Tami. Either way it's cruel of him to do so. He was shrouded in mystery…like all of the Turks.

One by one they strolled in, saying hello as they walked past. Even Rude gave a quick glance and nod in my direction as he came in which startled me slightly but I regained my composure and cheerfully smiled. It was nice having things back to normal, although I hadn't been sleeping well lately. Nightmares of Jessie's phone call kept ringing in my ears, they knew I was gone and it's wasn't likely they would find me. I had accepted that fact a long time ago, but I had never given up hope. "where's my favorite receptionist in the whole of Midgar?" said a laughing voice, I smirked but did not let Reno see it, I stood up from my desk and acted as if he wasn't there whilst placing a file in the cabinet behind me. Reno chuckled nervously "unless you didn't get it, I was talking about you doll" he mumbled, I rolled my eyes "no shit" I muttered as I sat back down

"Hey, what's up?" Reno asked, actually sounding concernd

"Nothing" I replied simply, Reno scoffed

"Alright, well I've actually got to apologise to ya'"

"What for?" I asked, still not making eye contact with him, Reno leant down on his knees so he could look directly at me. He had one arm on the desk, directly in front of my face, over the piece of paper I was looking at and his head resting on it. I tried to push his arm off but he held it there with ease, I heard him chuckle "you know, for someone who talks a lot of trash…you can't really back it up" he commented "I'll back _you_ up in a minute now get off!" I snapped as I stood up with frustration, Reno laughed and also stood. He has this obsession of keeping eye contact with me "oh how I've waited for you to say that baby" he replied, I punched him on the shoulder

"Oi! That's enough!" , Reno rubbed his arm

"Hey calm down. Jeez I was only joking yo". I sighed and sat down

"No you weren't, now go…for once your early" I noted, Reno sniggered

"Surprised? And I _was_ joking, I know you would never fall for a guy like me, I'm not worth your time" he sighed, I laughed sarcastically "I'm not going to fall for one of your silly little tricks Reno so I'd quit while you're ahead if I were you "

"What tricks?" he asked with a smirk

"The tricks you use to get women to sleep with you" I said simply, finally looking at him properly, Reno sighed and shrugged lazily "It's my fault I like the act" , I screwed up my face

"Eugh, grow up Reno"

" And it's also not my fault that you women drop like flies" he joked

"Well I can promise you that this is one fly that won't be dropping anytime soon. Goodbye" I finished and put pen to paper once again but Reno was having none of it. He pulled up a chair from the corner and sat in front of my desk and lent forward "I know. And maybe that's why I like you so much…more than I should really", I chuckled

"Another trick Reno?", A pause. And with a steady, honset tone of voice Reno replied a smiple

"No". My head glanced up immediately to see his piercing blue eyes gouging into me, they contrasted with his fiery hair fantastically, the light caught them and made them sparkle like a crystal blue ocean. Reno wasn't lying, you could always tell by the tone of his voice and the look in his face "you really should aplogise to Tami y'know" I stated, changing the subject and looking away from him, Reno groaned "y'know you are a master on ruining romantic moments" he sighed

"I don't count that as a romantic moment" I replied

"Why am I apologising to Tami?"

"For standing her up, why do you think?"

"I didn't stand Tami up" he replied softly "Tami was someone who I generally liked. She was smart, funny and pretty. Someone I didn't deserve. But…I can't get involved like that…not with anyone. I hurt her for her own good, believe me"

"I don't understand Reno"

"I know you don't. But I want you to know I'm not a bad guy, cuz', despite what Tami told you, I'm not _that_ bad"

"She sounded pretty convincing to me" I mumbled, Reno sighed

"Fine, I'll talk to Tami", I smiled

"Thanks"

"So how come your in so early?" he asked, fiddling with a pencil on my desk

"I went to see Rufus" I admitted, Reno halted, his face went slightly red and when he spoke his voice was full of venom "why?"

"To apologise to him"

"What for?"

"He came to see me, he wanted to thank me for saving his fathers life but I kind of…insulted him"

"How? What did you say?" Reno pushed with a smirk

"I said that…well…I said I thought he would be happy if his old man was out the way, so he could be in charge of Shin-ra". Reno was quiet for a moment, letting those words sink in before he burst out laughing and clapping his hands together "did you _honestly _say that?!" he said in between laughs, I smirked "yeah"

"Holy shit! I'm surprised he didn't fire your ass" he joked

"I wanted him to at the time but instead he stormed off so this morning I went to apologise"

"Jeez I can't believe you got away with that, especially since it's true!" he stated wiping a tear from his eye "huh? What do you mean it's true?"

"Did you not hear? It was like the biggest story in Gia history!" Reno yelled, I shook my head "Aw man! Rufus tried to kill his father a few years ago and got exiled to Junon because of it for three years!" Reno stated, my mouth dropped

"Your kidding me?!"

"No, I'm being serious . If Rufus didn't like you so much he would have had you shot!" Reno chuckled, I felt like hitting myself. What had I done?! "I wouldn't worry, like I said, you would have been killed already if he didn't like you" Reno smirked

"And let me guess, you would be the one who'd do it?", Reno's smile faded

"No. Anyway, like I said I need to apologise to you for the other night. I didn't mean to scare you"

"Other night?"

"The night you were working over time, remember?". Oh yes, I remembered alright. That blood…everywhere…just lying there on his shirt…on his face…on his hands. I looked away from the red head "ugh, I don't really remember Reno. It was kind of a daze"

"Your lying, it's haunted you ever since it happened. You've lost sleep, nightmares no doubt" he said softly

"How did you-"

"That's my job" he answered quickly, I raised an eyebrow at him quizzically "it doesn't matter. I'm sorry if I frightened you but I didn't mean to if I did. I overreacted"

"_You were covered in blood and your saying you overreacted…whatever Reno" _I thought but held back the urge to speak those words "don't worry about it. I'm a big girl, I can handle it" I said with a toothy grin. Reno smiled "how old _are_ you anyway?"

"18, you?"

"20" he said smoothly

"Hmph" I replied with a smile, Reno ran a hand through his hair

"What?"

"Nothing. I was just going to say how if you were a year younger or I a year older I may have considered going out with you" I teased, Reno's mouth dropped

"Your shitting me right?!" he yelled with panic, I burst out laughing

"Yes you twat of course I am but you are so not my type", Reno looked crest fallen but I didn't feel bad for some reason "haven't you got some work to do?" I asked, the hint of laughter still present in my voice, Reno smiled slightly and stood from his chair, he winked at me "see ya doll". He walked into the Turks room slamming the door behind him as he did. I was left alone to think _"damn! I forgot to scream at him for lying to me…aw well, I'll remember to do it later"_ I grinned as I imagined Reno's face as once again I was having a go at him _"what the fuck's wrong now!?" _he would yell. I couldn't help myself, I had to laugh at that thought and just as I did the devil himself came out of the Turks room once again . I stared at him as he grinned like a child who wanted something "what?" I asked cautiously

"I was just wondering, what times your break?"

"1:30" I replied

"Want to grab a coffee with me?" he asked playfully, his head was just roped around the door and the rest of his body was not visible, quite an amusing sight to say the least. I eyed him suspiciously and Reno noticed, he smiled slyly "oh come on, it's just a coffee. There's no alcohol…or beds. Well there _are_ tables, storage cupboards and a whole lot of desks but apart from that your pretty much safe from my charm" he winked, I giggled

"Fine but anymore jokes like that and I'll cancel"

"Baby, you've just made my day" he grinned before returning to the Turks room.

I laughed to myself as I saw the last of the red head that morning. It was so strange, one moment I was angry at him the next we were laughing and joking. It was like he had the ability to make me smile. Normally I would hate those types of people but Reno was different, despite being a complete asshole towards women he had a unique charm that seemed to rubbing off on me whether I liked it or not. Meeting Reno for coffee instead of Tami made me fill to the brim with guilt, I spent my breaks with Tami everyday unless it was her day off. I guess I would have to be sneaky, I could really get to know the real Reno if I could make him understand that he was _not_ going to win me over. And then maybe I could get some info on what the hell goes on in this company.

I suppose my plan to avoid Reno had not actually been working, there was just something about him…he was so…interesting. I found myself wondering who he was really and where he came from. More and more questions that would make my curiosity grow if that was even possible. I made a promise to myself that I would find out, today…and maybe yelling at him for lying would follow.

* * *

The day dragged on, Shuriken had popped out to see how I was doing for the first time since that horrific night . She didn't really have much to say, she just wanted to know if I was ok, y'know keeping it light but I could tell by the look in her face that she was desperate to apologise but something was holding her back…Rude had also spoken to me for the first time which had left me dazed and confused. He merely grunted and asked me how I was, not much but at least it was something! My thoughts had wondered to questions to ask Reno. The first thing I should do is yell at him for lying to me, then about him, then about the company. Yes, that was the right order to do it in, that way I didn't seem to eager. Perfect.

As I thought about my time here so far I realised that time here went quite fast, it only felt like yesterday that I first arrived. Another knot in my chest suddenly sprang to life, home. As each day had passed home had become more distant from me, I tried not to think about it but when I got that call from Jessie…that feeling of numbness and fear was always there , like an itch I couldn't scratch. Is that what loneliness feels like? My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat, my eyes glanced up quickly to find Reno stood with a grin on his pale skinned face but that grin quickly disappeared and was replaced with a look of panic "Teya?" he asked , I touched my cheek gently to feel the warmth of a tear strolling it's way down my skin, I chuckled as I quickly wiped it away "are you ok?" Reno asked, I nodded and stood up from my desk "You sure?" Reno pressed, obviously trying to get _something_ out of me but it failed, I merely smiled weakly and let him walk into the elevator with me trotting along behind him As we walked out of the building, the people around us seemed to disappear, they faded into nothing as we walked out into that never ending darkness once again. I sighed and Reno chuckled "dull isn't it?" he commented

"Why is it like that?"

"The Mako fumes coming from the reactors, crap eh?" Reno smirked , I tilted my head to the side

"Remind me, what is Mako again?"

"Where the _hell_ have you been?!" he joked and shook his head crazily "Mako is the like an energy resource, it's what we use to generate electricity. Some dickhead rebels go on about how it's the "life blood" of the planet. Bullshit in my opinion, and the opinion of every other person" he grinned, I laughed slightly, my throat was dry and it hurt to laugh "isn't there another way?"

"Way to what?"

"Generate electricity", Reno cleared his throat

"Well, we used to use coal and shit but that took too long so…"

"Mako was next on the list" I finished and Reno nodded . We walked into a small café by the entrance of the Shin-ra building and Reno paid for two cups of coffee to go "if that's a way to flatter me it didn't work" I smirked, Reno shrugged

"I think I've flattered you already because you've blushed so much" , I rolled my eyes. As we exited Reno stared off into the distance whilst we walked. Up on the plate was very different to the slums, it was cleaner and there were no inappropriate bars around. It was Rodeo Drive, all designer stuff and everybody was a rich snob. Some how I couldn't imagine Reno hanging around with these people what with his scruffy hair, un-tidy appearance and lazy language. My thoughts drifted to the film _"Pretty Women"_ and how people looked at Julia Roberts as she strutted confidently down Beverly Hills in an extremely skimpy outfit. My eyes only then started to actually take in peoples facial expressions as we walked down the street , a look of fear. They parted as if Reno was some sort of God, it was as if Reno owned them and the street. Curiosity got the better of me so I dared to ask "Reno, why do people look scared of you?", Reno looked at me startled, as if he had only just realised I was still there, he looked at the people passing us with a bored expression and shrugged "maybe it's you their scared of" he smiled, I hit him on the shoulder playfully and laughed. A young women that was stood on a corner of the street watching us , her eyes squinted with fear as I did, it was like she expected something horrifying to happen next. But nothing did, Reno just chuckled and everyone gaped at that. What on earth was going on?!

We ended up strolling through a park quite far away from the Shin-ra building and I saw this as perfect timing to execute my plan "oh, I have to yell at you by the way" I said seriously, taking a sip of my coffee in the process, Reno groaned "great! What now?"

"You lied to me"

"About what?!" he exclaimed, the look on his face was quite comical but I denied myself the pleasure of laughing "about the fact that you never wanted to be a Turk" I said, his comical face faded

"I didn't lie about that" he mumbled, I scoffed

"Tami said -"

"Do you always listen to what Tami says? Did it ever occur to you I may have been lying to Tami?"

"Why would you lie to Tami?" I asked, my eyebrow raised, Reno sighed

"Because that's what girls like Tami look for in a guy…money" , I shook my head

"Tami's not like that"

"I've known Tami a lot longer than you baby and believe me, she's one of those girls" he smirked

"Why did you tell her a lie?" I asked but felt slightly stupid after "oh wait…never mind. Ok, a better question, why did you leave her?"

"Tami was…different"

"How?" I pushed

"With Tami…I was…it was getting…ugh…" Reno slurred for a moment, my mind raced of all the possibilities. It was getting what? Then something in my brain clicked "you started to like her didn't you, you fell in love with her" I smiled, Reno looked defeated

"To put it simply, I guess you say that" , I frowned

"You left her because you fell in love with her?"

"It didn't seem right to lie to her" he mumbled, I laughed half- heartedly

"Maybe Tami was wrong, maybe your not a cold hearted bastard after all". Reno stayed silent, it was like he was thinking of some way to defeat that comment "so, you left Tami because you were in love with her, you lied to her about…buying your way into the Turks?"

"Not just that. I lied about coming from a wealthy family"

"Why?"

"I just told you why! It's what we would call a "Golddigger" Teya" Reno stated

"Reno…where _do_ you come from?" I asked cautiously , Reno gave me a meaningful look for a few seconds before he found the correct words "I ugh- I grew up here, in Midgar…well, when I say "here" I mean in the slums", I cocked my head to one side

"You lived in the slums? When?"

"When I was a kid…let me tell ya' the slums aint' no walk in the park…well at least when I was younger it weren't. Life's a lot easier now down there" he said, more questions filled my head

"So, how did you end up working for Shin-ra?"

"You really want to know?" he asked, his eyes glancing at me slightly. I nodded vigorously, the hunger for knowledge rapidly growing inside me. Reno ran a hand through his scruffy hair and shoved his hands in his pockets as we walked "I didn't have the best of childhoods. In fact, I don't know anybody who's had worse. I'm the only person on the Turks who didn't come from a…wealthy background. My mother was a prostitute. She worked at The Don's place and she was the best" he began. As Reno spoke his voice seemed to have less enthusiasm, less valour and he was also extremely blunt about things but I couldn't blame him for that "with long red hair, piercing blue eyes and a body to die for she could make anyone's day. Then one night a guy called Darren walks into The Don's, he asks for my mother and well…y'know, she did what she did best. A few weeks later she finds out that she's pregnant with me, she couldn't tell Don Corneo cuz he'd fire her ass out on the street so she kept quite. She went to different clinics an' shit to see if she could have an abortion but no one would do it cuz of what her job was and who she worked for". Reno paused for a second to look at me, whatever he saw made him smirk "don't look so surprised, that happens all over Gia!", I nodded slightly and let him continue "anyway, eventually Corneo finds out she's pregnant, fires her. She wondered for a little while until some bloke offered to take her in while she was knocked up. Just before I was born, my mother tried to find my dad. She looked _everywhere_. One day she found him in another brothel just outside of Midgar, when she broke the news to him he beat my mother and ran. Tight bastard. A few weeks later I was born, my mother had a hard time raising me, she found a job in this inn and got herself a room there cuz of it which was good enough at the time. When I grew older I started to become rebellious, I would sneak out, drink and smoke with a few other rats off the street. I was twelve when I lost my virginity an-"

"_**Twelve!" **_I exclaimed, surely he was joking but he started to laugh

"Yes, twelve. To a prostitute." he said, his laughter becoming less as he finished his sentence. I found myself feeling very out of place at that moment, my hands reached for my stomach, I felt sick. Reno surveyed me with his eyes, slowly moving up and down my curves "still got yours I see" he stated, I felt my face go red "how the hell do you know?!", he shrugged

"I can tell" he smirked, I cleared my throat and tried to change the subject "so, you tried to rebel against rules…"

"Yeah, well after I lost my virginity I became obsessed with doing my own thing. It felt good to disobey my mother, don't get me wrong I loved my mother, I would have died for her…but being bad just felt so good" he grinned, I chuckled _"now _that_ sounds like Reno"_ I thought "eventually it got to the point where I left my mother and went off to work on my own, I wasn't scared. The underworld didn't frighten me. I travelled all over Gia trying to find a place where I fitted in and eventually I did. Don Corneo's place", my mouth dropped slightly

"You went to work at The Don's?!", Reno nodded shamefully

"I was the first and last guy he ever hired"

"How old were you at this point?" I asked

"Fifteen" he replied glumly, I gasped

"Fifteen?! Where I come from you'd still be at school!"

"I gave up on school when I was eleven, as along as I could count to one hundred I figured I'd be fine" he smiled slightly "so, I was taking after my mother at The Don's place, of course Corneo didn't know I was my mothers son. He thought I was just some brat off the street. Like expected, I took after my mother, I was…popular shall we say. It brought in new business for Corneo. You'd be surprised how many women would kill for that kind of thing." he stopped and looked at his watch "we should head back, Tseng is gonna have my head else"

"Carry on" I mumbled whilst spinning on my heel, I had been so transfixed by Reno's story that I had let my coffee go cold. Reno chuckled "one night this girl came in and man oh man, did I fall for her. I saw her once and I was hooked, long brown hair that flicked up at the ends, perfect face, full lips, green pools for eyes and…well she was just hot all round! Anyway, I did what I had to do and she left like usual. I thought that was all I'd ever see of her, that's what happened usually. You'd do your thing and then you'd probably never see the person again after, not even on the street and if you did they pretended as if you aren't even there" he shrugged, I nodded and urged him to continue "a few days past but I still thought about her all the time, her face was stuck in my mind. Then suddenly, she turned up again, asking for me. I was shocked at first, that had never happened before. I felt honoured almost. So, I did my job and she left…_again_. But this whole, "asking for me" thing kept happening, she would leave and then come back…"

"Then what happened?" I asked, the Shin-ra building homing into view

"One night she came back and, whilst I was… "working", I blurted it out"

"Blurted what out?"

"That I loved her" he said quietly, I stayed silent for a moment. Reno fell in love…twice? Did this mystery girl and Tami have something in common? And where is mystery girl now? "What did she make of it?" I asked subtly, Reno smirked

"She didn't make _anything_ of it, not until we were finished anyway. Instead of getting dressed and leaving like normal she turned to me and asked me my name, my age, why I worked here and where I came from. Then she told me things about herself" Reno replied, a small smile appeared on my face

"What was her name?"

"Ivory" Reno said with a slight sigh

"Hm, pretty" I smiled, Reno smirked

"Yeah" he replied glumly, a hint of remorse on his face

"What happened to her?" I asked, not really wanting to hear the answer but I knew it was a question that had to be asked sooner or later. Reno cleared his throat and stared at the Shin-ra building ahead of him "we should really be getting back y'know…" in other words, he didn't want to talk about it "and besides, I've been hogging the spotlight. What about you, where do you come from?" he continued, I stuttered for a moment before a sly thought came to mind "you wouldn't believe me if I told you", Reno played along and grinned with me " try me"

"You'd laugh and think I was crazy" I said smugly, Reno merely shrugged

"I've seen crazier people than you in my years now, where you from?"

"Ok, you _really_ want to know?" I asked, I stopped dead in my tracks and turned towards him with my arms crossed , he did the same and nodded "yes" , I took a step forward, my smirk still firmly in place

"I'm actually from another universe. I come from a place called London where I'm taking my exams at the moment. I got chased down a dark street by a group of boys and was transported here through a dark, black hole. The night when I first met you, I had just arrived moments before. I got a job at Shin-ra to keep myself alive whilst waiting until another hole appears and I can go home." There was a pause, Reno's face was immaculate. No trace of anything, he just stared at me with those eyes which had a cloud of grey smoke in front of them as I looked at them now, like a blockade keeping me out…making me feel alone and afraid "right" Reno mumbled before grinning "okay I get it, you don't want to tell me where your from. That's cool"

"What?!"

"If you don't want to tell me, you don't have to"

"But- but you just bore your sole to me and now your telling me you don't care if I don't tell you anything about me?"

"Hey, I _chose_ to tell you ." Reno stated with confidence, his faced showed pure humour. It was as if he enjoyed watching me become increasingly confused as days went on, however the feeling was not mutual "oh, you _chose_ to tell me. Chose my ass" I replied, feeling a wave of irritation building up inside of me. How could he be so cocky all the time!? "Yes, I chose to tell you. Now I'd hurry up and get back to work" he smirked as we came to the entrance of the building. The sky hadn't changed , it still made me feel enclosed in a tiny black box "Reno, can I ask you something?"

"Well that's basically what you've been already so I guess one more question wont hurt" he smiled, I chuckled "y'know, it's no big deal but…ugh the other night, before I left work I heard this…this noise from somewhere and it terrified me…it was just-"

"What kind of noise was it?" asked the red head, lighting up a cigarette , I shook my head slowly, how was I supposed to describe that ? "well I guess ugh…a kind of high pitched scream" I explained, Reno took a drag and blew out the smoke confidently, nodding slightly as he did "yeah, that's just the vents" he replied casually taking another drag. His smoking was beginning to annoy me, I had never really been fond of smokers, they reminded me of my father. I always used to yell at him for it, the thought of losing my dad was terrifying. My mind pondered Reno's response as he stared at me, his cigarette going in and out of his mouth constantly "hang on, vents don't make noises like that. Whatever it was it sounded in pain!" I stated, Reno shook his head

"Believe me, we've had this problem before. It's the vents. Shin-ra, the most powerful fucking company in the world and they can't afford some decent vents" he put the cigarette in his mouth again but my hand got there first. I grabbed it by the tip and threw it to the floor "you shouldn't be smoking this shit" I mumbled as I crushed it with my foot, Reno's face was ecstatic "what?"

"You-you shouldn't smoke! I-It's dangerous and yo-you could die from it"

"From what? A few cigarettes here and there?" , I scoffed

"Reno, I have known you now for what? nearly three months and I have never seen you outside of work. I already know that your going to smoke yourself to death" I commented

"Why do you care?" Reno asked lustfully, I shrugged

"My father smokes and I always used to bug him about it, he'd always say "hey, smoking is cool and you know it" as a joke Then he'd put the cigarette out and we'd go out to get a pizza or something to take his mind off of it " I chuckled. I hadn't really thought about my dad, just my mum. She would be at his house right now yelling at him, saying he was an irresponsible parent like she did when they were together. They always fought, I hated it. In some ways it was a relief when they got divorced and not just for me but the neighbours too.

Reno coughed, taking me out of my thoughts "you were close with your dad then?" he asked, staring at the cigarette stub on the floor by my foot. I nodded slowly "so, thanks for the-ugh coffee" I mumbled, why did I bring up my dad? How could I forget that Reno didn't have one? Reno smiled slightly at me. My head raced trying to think of something to say to cheer him up. Despite the fact that I hated Reno when he was making sly comments and looking at me as if I was something to eat, it was better then seeing him sad. His eyes lost their shine, their dsire to be noticed dissapered and the dullness had set in. Reno stepped into the building, holding the door out for me "y'know, for someone who grew up in the slums your quite a gentlemen" I smirked as I stepped through , Reno scoffed

"It's how Tseng tells me to behave"

"_Tells_ you to behave?" I asked, surprised that Tseng new about Reno's behaviour

"Yeah" Reno laughed as we stepped in the elevator "he's got a pen stuck up his ass seriously" . The elevator started to move, I felt myself grin as it did. Reno lent up against the side of the tube and folded his arms, I stared at him. His red hair flying everywhere all the way down his ponytail and his eyes regaining their glow he had never looked more at peace "stop staring" he mumbled, I blushed

"Sorry"

"Don't worry about it. I do that to you" he smirked. Sometimes I wondered whether he was actually being serious or whether he was playing me, he was very good at blocking people out and normally I'm very good at reading people "Reno, you have been dropping these little comments for months now but it hasn't worked. Why don't you just say "will you go out with me?"?" I asked, it seemed a simple thing to do, Reno's face lit up "will you go out with me?"

"See, that wasn't so hard was it?" I asked, Reno looked generally happy, I then realiseed that he thought that I would go out with him "and no by the way"

"What?" he snapped looking crest fallen, I looked at him with a sympathetic smile

"Oh Reno, I was only being hypothetical" I laughed, Reno sighed as the elevator came to complete halt and the glass doors slid open. My desk sat untouched, no new folders of any kind. The corridor was silent, only the sounds of mine and Reno's footsteps could be heard. My eyes glanced at the clock, we were five minutes late, hopefully Tseng wouldn't be here so our absense would go unnoticed. Reno ran a hand through his untidy hair and stuck his hands in his pockets "ugh - I'd appreciate it if ya didn't tell anyone what I told ya about me an' the slums" he mumbled, obviously Reno was not used to sharing life stories. It didn't surprise me, although Reno had his confidence and charm, his ability to talk about how he felt was something that he lacked. I nodded in agreement, Reno had confided in me and it was only fair that I didn't tell anyone else. It suddenly occurred to me how much pain Reno must've suffered as a boy and how hard it must have been for him growing up. I wanted to know more, like where his mother and father were now, and this Ivory girl, where was she? But I didn't have the heart to ask him, his face looked so saddened by the mere mention of her name earlier, it was an expression that didn't seem to suit Reno despite that for once he looked like everybody else instead of a cocky, stand-out-of-a-crowd, no nonsense type of guy that oozed charisma and charm. I decided it best not to put him in that frame of mind for a second time, I wondered whether Tseng and the rest of the Turks new about Reno's past. "I'll make sure I talk to Tami, just like I promised" he stated strongly, I smiled at him appreciating the fact that he had remembered. What Tami would make of Reno's apology or explanation I did not know but I had no doubt in my mind that Tami would tell me about it, she may even question me asking if _I_ had set him up to it which wouldn't surpise me at all. Reno span on his heel and made his way into the Turks office.

Reno had spoken of things that, from what I could see , he hadn't even _thought_ about in years. He obviously took great care in choosing the words he said, why I don't know. But no matter the reason, I had seen a side to Reno that probably most people would never get to see. I looked at him in a completely new light now, I knew he trusted me and for some unknown reason, I trusted him.

Tseng opened the door to his office, taking me out of my daze and realising that since returning to the building I hadn't done any of the work I had been set today. I grabbed my pen a scrawled quickly through a few delivery papers "having a productive day Miss Barlow?" Tseng asked, his voice confident and steady, I looked up into his stern face and smiled slightly hoping to catch a glimpse of _some_ emotion but I had no luck, he merely stared back at me with his cold, dark eyes which almost looked dead! Eventually, after being transfixed by his gaze, I managed to nod my head in answer to his question "Teya, when I return, I would like you to accompany me to the presidents office. Do you understand?" he stated clearly, this must be the meeting Rufus had spoken of earlier today

"Yes sir" I replied, my voice shaky. It was easy to be intimidated by Tseng, he knew how to scare you and make you feel gave a slight grunt and walked off to the elevator. As soon as he was out of sight I lent back in my chair and began to think of what the upcoming meeting would hold. Rufus had said it was nothing to worry about, but he didn't sound all that sure. There was no point worrying about it, whatever was about to happen was going to happen and it couldn't be changed that was for sure, and who knows, it could be something that goes in my favour.

Over the past few weeks my mind had drifted from the curiosity I once had for the Turks and now focused more on more important things, like the job I had currently. I still checked newpapers every once and a while to see if there had been anymore sightings of holes but still nothing. In my free time I made sure to take a wonder around Midgar. There were tons of different sectors in Midgar, and this was not just down in the slums. Up on the plate they were divided, happy about it or not, they lived in different areas. Down in the slums, I came across a bar called "Tifa's Seventh Heaven" which typically was in Sector Seven. However, one thing that struck me as odd about this bar is that is was surprisingly empty. No one was around, not even outside the bar. It was like the slums had been liberated. Tifa herself was the only one there, I walked in , my eyes beaming every which way making sure I took it all in. There were round wooden tables in odd areas of the room with a pinball machine placed near the bar which sat at the back of the room. A small kitchen was to the left of the bar, a little girl in a pink dress was stood on a little wooden stool cleaning glasses. At first I thought they wre closed until Tifa, a young women with long black hair that reached her ankles and eyes that shined a sweet maroon colour, greeted me with a gentle smile "what can I get you stranger?" she asked, her voice sweet and calm. I noticed that she wore leather gloves on her hand, both of which had knuckle dusters placed on them "ugh, something that isn't too strong if you wouldn't mind" I replied, slightly unsure if the alcohol here was the same as back home. She grinned and grabbed a glass from behind her "I havn't seen you around before. You just moved here?" she asked, pouring something that looked like vodka into a glass

"No, I live-well I'm staying in an inn in Wall Market" I replied looking at some photographs that hung unevenly on the walls around me. She turned and gave me the glass which contained a tansparent liquid that was fizzing slightly "my own creation that" she commented, noticing me looking at it suspiciously

"Yeah?" I said sounding impressed

"Yeah, I call it "The Strife"" she chuckled, I smiled

"Why's that?"

"Well, it's not to bitter and it's not to sweet. Try it, you'll see what I mean" she grinned, so, without hesitation, I raised the glass to my lips and took a large swig of the drink. Tifa wasn't lying. At first it burnt the roof of my mouth and tasted awfully dry and bitter but then a sudden sensation of a fruit flavoured taste swarmed my mouth. I nodded with a smile as I ran my tounge over my teeth to claim all of the liquid that remained "so, why is it called "The Strife"?" I asked, still amazed by the taste of the drink "this guy I know- well, he's bitter and sweet. So I thought I'd name it after him" she sighed romantically, I smirked "oh, right" I replied knowingly, she chuckled and held out a hand

"I'm Tifa" her smile was traced onto my face, I took her hand and shook it gently

"Teya" I nodded my greetings. When I left that bar I had a funny feeling that I'd see Tifa again, whether or not I go back to the bar itself.

Tseng walked out of the elevator and grunted in my direction, my head jerked up as he approached the stairs leading to the president office, time to face the music. I stood and followed him obediently in his wake, I sighed as we climbed the never ending staircase "I wouldn't worry" Tseng mumbled, obviously feeling the fear that surrounded me. I didn't reply, my tounge had somehow lodged it self in my throat. Tseng suddenly did something I didn't expect, instead of going up another flight of steps that leaded to the presidents office he turned and walked into a grey door that had a "Permitted Staff Only" sign on it. I stopped walking, surely he must know that im not allowed in there? Tseng turned his head and laughed slightly "don't worry, it's the quicker way that's all", I shrugged

"Going the longer distance really doesn't bother me" I commented shyly, I didn't feel comfortable going in. Maybe it was some kind of test, to see if I was from one of those rebel groups Reno taked about "yes well it bothers me, now follow me" he ordered and walked through the door , I had no choice but to follow. I shuffled through the old door and was faced with something I hadn't really expected. A science laboraty, several actually. You'd think that would be normal for an electric compay to have some kind of testing area or something along those lines but this, this laboraty wasn't testing Mako. Shin-ra had live animals, or what I believed to be animals, in cages and tubes. My mouth dropped as I saw them being proked and prodded, some of them looked in pain. This then explained what that screaming sound was the other night. Something was odd about these creatures though , one tube contained a strange, scorpian like creature with a circle for a mouth and large pointed teeth ran as a spiral throughout it. It was as big as a fully grown dog and was growling evily at the scientists who were studying it. It's yellow eyes glanced in my direction and a loud hiss followed, I jumped back as it clawed at the glass with its teeth, leaving long stands of scratches "we call that "Whole Eater"" Tseng pointed out "it hangs around in the slums normally eating garbage, sometimes mice and rats if it can find them"

"Those things hang around in the _slums_?" I screeched, Tseng nodded as if it was perfectly normal

"They'll only attack you if they feel threatened by you, relax" , I sighed as I looked at the other strange creatures who all looked as if they wanted a piece of me (literally!). What caused them to look like this?! I couldn't help but ask "Tseng, is it…normal for these creatures to look like this?" I stammered, Tseng scoffed "you can tell you don't get out much. Well, if you had asked me that six years ago I would have said no, but these day's it's quite common to see creatures deformed"he explained, I nodded as the growls and hissess of the creatures became louder "but what made them like that?" I pressed , Tseng cleared his throat uncomfortably

"Why do you think their here? We're trying to figure that answer out" he replied but there was a flash of guilt in his eyes as he spoke so I thought it better not to question him further. I glanced around the laboratory once more as the exit came into view, I noticed a large container that wasn't transparent like the others. A small window was near the hatch and it was glowing red furiously "Tseng, what's in there?" I asked before I could stop myself, I noticed a large sign next to it that read "Jenova". Tseng sighed "go and have a look through if you want" . I suddenly felt cold, part of me was itching to go and have a look but another part of me was frightened to. It was the glow, it was eerie. I eyed it suspiciously "what's inside?" I mumbled,. Tseng smirked slightly

"Jenova" . I shook my head and took a step backwards "I don't blame you" Tseng commented and continued to walk towards the exit, I followed him without further question. Jenova , I wonder.

We walked out of the exit, I still felt cold from that strange glow being emitted from Jenova's metal prison. Whatever Jenova was, it was obviously something that was dangerous. It seemed that everybody in the room kept a distance of at least ten feet from it "Tseng, who runs those experiments?" I asked, trying to break the award silence between us "professor Hojo" he replied slowly, something in my head clicked _Hojo, where have I heard that name before? _There was no time to think about it, the presidents office was just a few steps away. Suddenly Tseng turned on the spot, forcing me to stop walking "whatever you do, don't speak unless your spoken too and just agre with everything he says ok?" he stammered, suddenly I saw a new side to Tseng. No longer was he this tall figure who I felt inferior to but at the same time felt a huge amount of respect for, he was a frightened man, just the same as everyone else. I couldn't really blame him though , I nodded and let out small sigh. Glory awaits…hopefully.

The door to the presidents office seemed larger than last time, they towered over me like everything else in this building. Tseng straightened his tie and cleared his throat before knocking on the door ever so slightly. At first there was nothing, just the hammering sound of my heartbeat which was growing in pace, suddenly there was a shuffling sound by the door and it opened slightly, a new crack of light was shed into the small corridor Tseng and I were stood in. The door was slung open violently a few seconds later to reveal Reno stood there with a bored expression "can we help you?" Reno asked with a smirk, Tseng pushed past him "out of the way Reno" he seethed, Reno pulled a face whilst his back was turned and then looked at me "hey doll" he commented with a sly smile

"Don't call me that" I smirked as I pushed past him in the same fashion Tseng had done previously, Reno seemed to enjoy this "okay then _baby_" he smirked whilst strutting past me and halting next to the president. I glared at him falsely but suddenly my atttention was drawn to the president who was growing ever more impatient "Miss…Barlow?" he offered, gesturing to Tseng to offer me a chair in front of him. Tseng did so and I sat comfortably, slightly anxious about what was to happen next

"Tell me something, Miss Barlow, how long have you worked for Shinra?" he asked, I looked at the floor for a moment. It had been at least three months since I'd arrived and I had sent my letter into Shinra about two weeks into the first month "I would say about, nearly two months sir" I replied steadily, President Shinra grunted "and do you like working for this company Miss Barlow?"

"Of course sir" I stated instantly, although during the beginning of my job I had gained plenty of curiosity for the company but I enjoyed it none the less "good. Now as you would recall a few week ago you, to put it bluntly, saved my life" he stated, pouring himself a drink of brandy from a glass bottle that was laid out carefully on his desk, I nodded slowly trying to think of that night "and I-well _we_ feel" he continued, gesturing to Tseng "that that's a great achievment for a mere receptionist " he chuckled to himself, taking a sip of his drink. Reno and Tseng stood beside him emtionless, like statues, only moving if the president said so "to get straight to the point Miss Barlow, I would like you to become a member of the Department Of Administrative Reasearch". There was a pause, they wanted me to be a Turk! _Me! _I tried to answer the president but no words would come out of my mouth, eventually I got out the word "but" and the president automatically responded "I know, but you'll have training obviously. You have potential and you may come in use to me at some point in the future". I glanced at Reno with wary eyes, he looked slightly saddened . He dared a glance at me, his eyes full of worry but he forced a smirk, I turned back to the president with curious eyes "sir, if you don't mind me asking" I began, the words suddenly flowing out of my mouth "what exactly to the Turks do?", the president chuckled darkly "well, they are my bodyguards" he replied, taking another sip of his brandy. I frowned slightly, there just _had_ to be more too it, the president laughed again sounding more amused this time "I can see you're an intelligent women Miss Barlow, obviously you have recognised the fact that there is more to a Turk than that", I mentally cried out with joy "no, I'm afraid to say that being a Turk comes with other responsibilities" he finished, glancing at the two men by his side "Turks aren't just my protectors Miss Barlow, they are trained for something slightly more delicate than that" he stated cooly, I saw Reno close his eyes and look down at the floor for a moment, his small shoulders shuffled around a bit, as if he was waititng for something "Miss Barlow, the Turks, my Turks, are assasins" he finished. At first I thought I had mis heard him but as I replayed what he had said in my head I began to realise I had heard him right "assasins?!" I blurted out, they wanted me to be an _assasin_!! The president nodded slowly, looking at me intently "you want to teach me how to _kill_ people?" I asked, my voice steady but my head was screaming "Miss Barlow you say it so negatively"

"Well, pardon me sir, but what other way _can_ I say it?!" I asked, Tseng cleared his throat so as to get my attention "Miss Barlow, understand that the people that the Turks…"take care of" are people who are a threat to the community and Shin-ra, it's only in the best intrest of Midgar"

"Best intrest?" I mumbled, staring at the floor, still trying to make sense of it

"Indeed" the president replied sternly placing his brandy glass on his desk . What was I supposed to do? There was no way they would let me live if I said no, that I knew for sure and the information the president had just given backed that point up. Reno, of all people, was a trained killer. Everything suddenly started to make sense, the guilt in their eyes, the secrecy, what Tami had spoken of, the incident with the president . I felt…hollow and sick. To think that there would be so much blood on their hands…and soon, mine too. I swallowed hard and took a quick glance at the red head, his eyes were shut tight and his head was shaking from side to side slightly. I looked at the president again and said in a clear voice "I'll do it".

* * *

"Are you insane?!" yelled a rather frustrated Turk as we walked out of the presidents office

"No Reno, I'm not"

"Then wanna' explain to me why you agreed to be trained?"

"What other choice did I have?!" I snapped as we came to an elevator , I jabbed the button harshly as we waited for it to come to our level "you could have said no!" Reno sighed angrily, I shrugged "do you even understand what you've signed up to?" . I stayed silent as the elevator doors opened slowly, it was time for me to leave, monday would be the first day of training and I was not looking forward to it. The president had said that training would involved a vigorous six month program that included weapons, engineering, flying, fitness and materia sessions, whatever that was. I was too tierd to care, the overall shock of the whole thing had overwhelmed me. We stepped into the elevator and I let my head rest against the side of the glass tube whilst Reno stood next to me ranting, my eyelids dropped. I was going to be a killer, I was going to take someones life someday. How would I be able to live with myself? Reno's voice slowly fazed back into my head, it stung to hear him yelling at me, insulting me "how thick _are_ you?!" he screamed, I shook my head slowly trying to brush his comment away but he was right. It _was_ stupid to join , it just proved that I cared more for myself than anyone else "Reno…" I whispered, he stopped talking and stared me "I don't wan-I-I…don't want…to…" I stammered, Reno's glare softend slightly "Teya, the Turks…it's a death sentence. People _die_ in the Turks. When you join…your fate is decided like that" he stammered, clicking his fingers "You will die Teya, eventually we all will. Why did you say yes to a death sentence Teya, why?" he finished, locking his fingers with mine "if I didn't…I was dead anyway. I've learnt that much" I mumbled, flicking his hand away . What was I supposed to do? Go back to the inn? I wouldn't be able to sleep. Go get a drink at Tifa's bar? I wasn't even in the mood to drink my sorrows away. It wasn't just that joining the Turks would result in me killing people, it was home as well. The glass tube moved slowly through the building, people below the president were hurrying about trying to impress somebody . This world was selfish, they stole from each other, they used each other and now they start _killing_ each other! I suppose it wasn't a huge surpise if I thought about it, I now understood why everyone looked at Reno with fear.

The elevator came to a halt and Reno turned towards me as the doors opened "I'll help you as much as I can…" he muttered "but, don't expect any favours. I'm not about to take a bullet for you" he finished, I gave a half hearted laugh

"I wouldn't let you, if anything I'd be welcoming it" I sighed, Reno smirked and spun on his heel before exiting _"finally" _I thought, hoping I could be on my own for a little while but unfortunately Rufus Shinra bolted towards the elevator before it began to descend again "hi" he smiled slightly, I grunted in response "are you alright?" he asked softly, I shrugged in return. He'd figure it out eventually, Rufus wasn't exactly dumb "have you had the meeting with my father?" he asked, I nodded once and Rufus became very ridged "and?" he pressed, squinting slightly. I pushed myself off of the glass tube and looked at him with a fake smile "you are now looking at the newest member of the Turks" I stated, Rufus sighed and placed a hand on his forehead, he frowned slightly "why? Why did you do something so stupid?" he moaned, I glared at him whilst getting slightly sick of everyone calling me stupid for practically saving my own life for at least another few months "Rufus, I would have been killed if I hadn't!" I yelled "now stop telling me that I'm stupid for saving my own life!" I finished, Rufus frowned and looked up at me "you have friends in high places that could have protected you!"

"Like who?! You?" I asked sarcastically

"Yes" he replied quietly, still staring at me intently. There was a pause and I sighed, he was, after all, only trying to help "Rufus…I don't want to do this. I don't want to kill people for a living. I don't have the guts to cause someone that pain…" I whispered as a tear strolled down my face. Rufus stood there watching me as I finally came to realise what I'd have to do at the end of the six months "by the end of the six months you will, I've seen people come in here and…change" he mumbled with a sad looking face, I sniffed quietly "what do you mean?" I asked, eager to get the conversation away from me

"People like Rude, when he came here he was a very…talkative man. Like a really scary looking guy with a big heart. You could tell him anything. I was a bit younger at the time, in my teenage years. By the time the six months were finished Rude had somehow managed to become even _more_ powerful, and the first time he…"dealt" with someone…he became more and more distant from life and this is what's left of him." he finished, flicking his blonde hair back. I sighed and closed my eyes, whatever was in store for me obviously was going to change me. I suddenly felt hollow, like somebody had taken everything that made me _me_ out of myself and left me for nothing. Rufus noticed my saddened face and hesitated slightly before slipping his arm around my waist, pulling me into a small embrace "you'll have to tell me if I'm doing this right" he chuckled "I've never had to comfort someone before" he finished, slightly softer than his previous tone. I was about to question him about this but the elevator came to a sudden halt, the doors slid open to reveal the reception which was, as usual, busy. Some people glanced at the vice president and I as I slipped away from him, Rufus cleared his throat anxiously "you'll be okay Teya. You've just got to have a little faith in youself" he smiled before exiting the glass tube and shuffling off outside of the Shinra building.

Even though a part of me was comforted by Rufus's words they still didn't take away the nagging sensation in my head telling me that I had just made the biggest mistake of my life. Tami sat behind her desk typing away happily, I wondered if she knew about the Turks? She had always hinted that she knew something, what will she make of my news? I walked up to the desk and casually lent on it with a lazy, fake smile painted on my face "hey" I muttered, Tami looked at me wide eyed

"Shit Teya! Who died?" she asked, her words stung. They made me think about what was to become of me, I shook my head slowly in response "well something's up" she stated, putting her hands on her hips. How was I supposed to say this? To be honset, I would say I was more worried about her reaction that anything else "Tami…they made-they…they made me a Turk" I replied shakily, Tami's mouth dropped slightly "…or well _going_ to make me a Turk anyway". Obviously Tami knew as her eyes looked sad "Teya- I-…I don't know what to say" she mumbled, neither did I in reality. Being asked to become a Turk had never really occurred to me. I tried to lighten the situation by putting on a brave face "hey, you never know, I may survive it" I laughed, Tami smirked

"I certainly hope so Teya" her voice slightly happier. I then wondered if Reno had spoken to her

"Hey, where were you earlier? I wanted to grab a coffee with you" I lied strategically, she flicked some blonde hair out of her eyes with a sigh "remember that guy I told you about?" she asked, I nodded slightly "well he called me and I went to meet him for a bit. Turns out he's not a massive jerk like I thought" she chuckled, I smiled generally happy for her. I then realised that it wouldn't have been possible for Reno to have had a chat with Tami, he went straight to the presidents office after we got back. Suddenly a thought struck me, I didn't see Reno come out of the Turks room? How in the hell did he get to the presidents office without coming out? I hadn't seen an elevator or a set of stairs when I had seen the Turks room a few months ago. Well, it wouldn't be too long before I found out.

Tami had told me that she was working a few extra hours that night so I thought it was better just to go back to the inn and get a good nights rest. Monday was the start of six very long, bone-breaking months. I didn't even know if I was Turk material! Only God knew if I was even going to make it past the first month let alone six, and it also didn't help that I hated guns.


	5. Training part 1

Chapter 5

Training 

**A/N : Okay this is a really long chapter so its gonna be split into two parts. Sorry for the wait but I really wanted to get it right. Enjoy **

Monday morning had not been as scary as I thought, it went as soon as it had come. I started my morning with the usual routine. A long hot shower and a bit of breakfast at the local resturant, the food wasn't amazing but it was better than nothing and plus, it kept me going throughout the day.

The Shin-ra building was quiet. Tseng had informed me to get there ealier than usual so I had basically got there at four o'clock in the morning, suprising a lot of people in the process. However, I was not exactly a morning person so I was yawing every which way throughout the long minutes of waiting for my boss to show up. The clock moved slowly each tick felt like twenty, my eyes drifted slowly to a close before I heard a mighty crash. I jolted upright to find Tseng staring at me with an unimpressed gaze, I smiled weakly at him as I stifled another yawn "tierd are we Miss Barlow?" he chuckled sympathetically "the last time I got up _this_ early I was when I went on vacation with my mum and dad" I replied weakly whilst rubbing my eyes with my knuckles. Tseng sat down at his desk, placing a navy coloured book in front of me ignoring my previous comment, I raised an eyebrow quizzically at him "Turk rule book" he stated calmly, I scoffed "problem Miss Barlow?"

"No, I just wouldn't expect the Turks of all people to have rules" I sniggered darkly, Tseng scowled at me "we may be assasins but were not ruthless" he commented, I gave him a bored look

"I'll believe that when I see it" I replied, picking up the book and opening it. It was all layed out neatly into sections, each rule being explained in more depth. The book itself was about twenty pages long but from what I could see there were ten basic rules:

_Rule 1: All Turks must follow the dress code that is provided. No exceptions _(dress code? And how the hell did Reno get away with it?)

_Rule 2: All Turks must be able to use some form of weaponry, materia is not included in this. _

_Rule 3: All Turks must be able to use all types of materia including summon. _

_Rule 4: _ _All Turks must take regualr simulated tests _

_Rule 5: All Turks must carry out orders without question, any form of treachery will have serious consequences _

_Rule 6: All Turks must file reports on each mission and give said repot to their superioir_

_Rule 7: All Turks must be issued with a standard issue Shin-ra company phone _

_Rule 8: No Turk can be involved with another Turk romantically _(odd…)

_Rule 9: All Turks must be able to use some form of tranport, this includes helicopters _

_Rule 10: All Turks must sign a contract stating that Shin-ra company is not liable for any injury or death whilst working for The Department Of Administative Research _

I looked up at Tseng who stared at the book intently "injury or death?" I questioned, Tseng smirked for a moment "we've had a couple of…accidents" he mumbled, I nodded slowly feeling more nervous by the second. Tseng pushed a piece of paper and a pen towards me and I glanced it over quickly, it was the contract that had been mentioned in the rule book. This moment felt like I was selling my sole to Shin-ra, which in a way I was. They would be able to control me, make me do things that would probably haunt me for the rest of my life but what other choice did I have? My slightly shaky hand picked up the pen and I forced myself to sign the dotted line at the bottom of the page. That was it, it was done. I was a Turk, I had just sold myself to Shin-ra. A nagging thought at the back of my mind was telling me that I would regret this, but I had been telling myself that ever since I had agreed to do it. I just had to live with it.

Tseng smiled approvingly and took the paper quickly, he then pushed a box in front of me. It was larger than I would have expected but when I saw what was inside it didn't surprise me. I lifted the lid gently to find my new uniform folded neatly inside the square shaped box "go and change" said Tseng sternly "from now on, it will be this and _only_ this that you will wear when you step inside this building". I couldn't help myself, I had to ask "so how does Reno get away with rule number one?" I asked with a smile, Tseng glared at me slightly "just go and change"_ . _

Despite the fact that the uniform was a little uncomfortable at first it certainly had an effect on the rest of the company. As I walked back to Tsengs office people would practically bow as I walked past, like they did when I had coffee with Reno. Now I knew why. I wriggled the tie around a lot, it was tight and scratchy against my neck but I couldn't complain. I didn't want to push my luck with _this _job.

Tseng sat paitently at his desk as I stepped into the dull room, I only just realised how large it was. Tseng was an ant compared to the size of it "sit down" he ordered, his voice echoing throughout the office. I shuffled over to his well organised desk and sat in the leather seat "now, there is something I need to run by you" he stated sounding bored, I raised my eyebrows slightly "ugh…later on today…I need to take you to the medi-lab", he suddenly changed. He seemed reluctant to speak, less confident

"Why? I'm perfectly healthy" I replied sternly, I was insulted that, first off, they only _just_ decide to check on my health and second, the fact that they would even think that there was something wrong with me. Tseng gave a small laugh "no, we have to give you an injection"

"An injection?!" I stuttered "for what?!"

" A Mako injection, that's all" he said calmly

"_What_?!" I screeched "you want to inject _Mako_ into me?! Why?". Why would they want to inject a _power source_ into my blood stream?

"It's a new experiment that Professor Ho-"

"_Experiment_!" I yelled with shock

"Miss Barlow, calm down." he frowned "experiment was the wrong term to use I assume" he finished, tightening his tie "damn straight!" I replied. It was ridiculous! Experimenting on people is sick!

"Don't worry Miss Barlow, I can assure you, you wont be the first person to have this" he replied, slightly softer than before. I scoffed "oh well, that makes me feel much better. No…my answer is no" I sighed, Tseng stood from behind his desk and walked around to the front, he leant on the desk and crossed his arms "Teya…" he began, his voice almost a whisper "you don't really have a choice and, for what its worth, I'm not asking you I'm telling you. See, all members of SOILDER have this injection. It makes them…stronger, and Hojo wants to try it on the Turks". _Hojo, where have I heard that before?! _my head screamed at me, but there was no time to wonder "can't you do something?" I asked helplessly "Tseng I _don't_ want to have this injection. I'm not really enthusiastic about being a tool in an experiment!". Tseng shook his head shamefully

"I'm sorry Teya, it's all been set up. The president had already agreed to go through with it" he muttered. I knew there was more to this company than meets the eye, I just _knew _it! I sighed heavily, I have no choice. I just have to go through with it "this wont…what will happen when…after…" I slurred, trying get my sentence straight "your body will become naturally stronger…" he replied slowly

"But?" I pushed

"But…it has been known to have some side effects"

"Like what?!" I demanded, appalled by this

"That's the thing I don't really know Teya…" he replied, not looking me in the eye. I sat back in the chair and put my hand on my head "nobody- well, not a lot of people have died from this Teya. Although…", my head snapped up

"Although?!" I seethed, Tseng cleared his throat

"All members of SOILDER are…well their not conscious when they get their's"

"But I will be? Why?"

"Well…SOILDER's get showered in Mako, your getting an injection…"

"Why do they have to be unconscious when you do it?"

"Because the process takes a few days and is…apparently…quite painful" he sighed, my mouth dropped "So wait, I'm going to have to go through excruciating pain so that some scientist can write down some data!?" I yelled, Tseng raised his hand

"Listen, Teya, we will be there. We'll make sure your ok. We may be apart of Shin-ra but we look out for each other" he stated with a frown. What did he mean "we may be apart of Shin-ra"? Tseng stood up straight and pointed towards his door "go and…well just go and wait it the Turks office. I'll come and get you when it's time. I can do nothing with you until then" he finished with a sad glare. I was happy to get out of there, I felt like a tool. Why would Shin-ra experiment on people? It was defiantly safe to say that this was more than an electric company at this point, but how many people new that?

I didn't feel like facing the other Turks, they all probably knew anyway. They would give me a sickly sympathetic look that I did not need right now. I wondered around the corridors, not really keeping track of time. If this injection was so important then Tseng can come and find me himself. I found myself outside Rufus's office, maybe he would give me some words of comfort for a little while. I raised my hand to knock on the door when suddenly I heard raised voices coming from inside the room "you _cannot_ give her a Mako injection Hojo!" I heard Rufus's voice yell, a high pitched cakcle followed "Rufus, this is supported by the president. There is nothing you can do"

"I wont allow you to do this! It's insane!"

"It's all in the good nature of science"

"You wouldn't know "good nature" if it came up and hit you in the face Hojo!" Rufus replied icily

"I couldn't turn down the opportunity to work on such a fine specimen" Hojo laughed happily

"**Stop calling her that!**" Rufus screeched "Teya is a human being and you "professor" are _insane_!". Me, it was about me. Rufus was trying to get me out of it "say's the man who has tried to kill his father!" Hojo bit back, I heard Rufus sigh

"Hojo, I don't care if you put the blame on me just don't give her the Mako injection especially when she's conscious!" he mumbled, Hojo gave another weasly cackle

"The girl is lucky. Rufus, would you like to know why she's going to be conscious?"

"She's only having an injection, she's not being showered" he replied, a sound of worry hinted in his voice, another cackle "oh dear, it would seem that you got the wrong message Mr Shin-ra"

"Please don't tell me your planning on showering her in Mako whilst she's conscious?! She'll be dead by the time you get her out!" Rufus stuttered

"Of course not, the Jenova cells I give her will cancel out the pain" Hojo replied, you could hear the smile in his voice, There was a pause. Jenova cells? I hadn't looked at Jenova on Friday, surely it couldn't be _that_ bad. Hojo had said that it would cancel out the pain, surely this was good thing "Jenova cells…?" Rufus mumbled "you want to inject Teya with _**Jenova cells**_?!". I stepped back slightly

"Jenova…?" I whispered to myself, I had to see this thing for myself. I had to know what they were planning to put inside of me.

As I ran down the corridors, pushing past people without a second glance, all I could hear was that name. _Jenova_. What was this thing? My legs carried me all the way down to the science department, despite many objections from numerous scientists. One man approached me nervously "can-can I help you?"

"Show me Jenova" I stated, I was stood in a computer room where a few people were speedily typing away. Some of them turned their heads to look at me as I said it's name but I didn't care, I needed to know "why do you need to see it?"

"Just show it too me!" I said spitefully, the man jumped back slightly at my tone and nodded vigourasly

"Right, this way" he replied, opening a door that was on his left for me. I walked through to find the same lab Tseng and I had came to on Friday. Nothing had really changed except a few of the creatures were missing "where's Whole Eater?" I asked without thinking, the scientist gasped

"Ugh, that creature died yesterday during an experiment…professor Hojo was pretty mad about it too"

"Do you think he'll be mad if I die today?" I mumbled through gritted teeth

"Huh?" the scientist replied

"Nothing, where's Jenova?" I seethed, glaring at him

"Over there" he said shakily pointing to the large container that I had seen on Friday. He was obviously keen to get away from me, as if I cared. I may die today "fine, go" I ordered, he did as I asked. I had been a member of the Turks for about an hour now and already I was starting to act like one. I shuffled up to the container slowly and gulped as I came to the metal cage. I took a deep breath before peering through the little window that was placed on the door, it was still glowling a sickly red.

At first I didn't know what to expect but I had never imagined Jenova being what I saw. As my eyes glanced through the tiny window I saw…flesh. Just flesh . Jenova was a bust attached to a pair of wings. However, it was missing it's head. It was like nothing I had ever seen before! I felt sick looking at it but I couldn't take my eyes away. It's flesh started to move slightly, as if in time with a heart beat. The flesh started to turn red, blood red, and it swirled in it. Jenova was _bathing_ in blood. I felt cold as I watched, I could hear it's heart beat drumming in my ears when suddenly I heard a high pitched scream "argh!" I yelled as I covered my ears to try and reduce the noise, the scream continued for what seemed like forever, people started staring as I continued to scream but as Jenova's yell became louder than my own I eventually got used to the sound. It started to become a "humming" noise until finally I lifted my hands off of my ears. There was no more pain, no more high pitched scream "Se-phi-roth" a female voice said… Jenova said. "Re-u-nion" it finished

"What?" I mumbled, staring at the moving flesh "Sephiroth? Reunion?"

"Come- to- my- Re-u-nion" it finished before the high pitched scream started to kick back in. Once again I grabbed my ears in pain "stop! Please stop!" I yelled as I fell to my knees. People were surrounding me but their voices were drowned out and muffled by this scream. I tried to block it all out but it wouldn't let me…Jenova wouldn't let me. It whispered those two words to me as I screamed and begged _"Se-phi-roth"_

"Teya?"

"_Re-u-nion"_

"Teya?!"

"_Come- to- my Re-u-nion"_

"Teya!". I felt someone grab me and hoist me off of the floor and then everything went dark.

* * *

My mouth felt dry, my eyes lifted open only to see a bright, pale light that hurt to look at and my entire body felt numb. Whatever I was laid on, it was cold and uncomfortable "n-ugh" I mumbled, moving my head slightly "huh?" said a voice "Teya?"

"R-Rufus?" I asked curiously, a flash of red suddenly appeared and I squinted trying to get a better view of what it was but my vision was too blurred to be able to make it out "not this time around" the voice replied "who?" was all I managed

"It's Reno, Teya" he replied, sounding a little disappointed. I tried to force a smile

"Reno…where am I? What happened?"

"I was hoping you could tell me that" he stammered "I was the one that found you and brought you here" he finished, I chuckled lightly

"Saved me again eh?" I asked, Reno scoffed

"Yeah, I should do this for a living" he laughed "Teya, what happened? I found you knocked out on the floor!" he asked. I tried to think, why was I in the science lab?

"I don't remember…" I mumbled, placing a hand on my fore head "Reno where am I?"

"Your in the medi-bay" he stated, sighing afterwards "Teya, you were screaming for help. Surely you remember what happened"

"Reunion…" I whispered

"Huh?"

"Jenova…it said something about…" I trailed off

"Jenova?" Reno repeated "but that's not possible. That piece of crap aint' got a head!" he yelled, I wanted to laugh, he always sounded so chirpy "Reno…who is Sephiroth?" I asked, grabbing his hand, Reno stared at me in shock for a moment "Sephiroth…? Sephiroth is…no one. He died…remember?" Reno replied, squeezing my hand, I thought for a moment before gently nodding my head "yeah…" I added, Reno smiled slightly.

The door crashed open suddenly, I jolted upright and Reno turned swiftly on his heel. Tseng was stood in the doorway, as he stepped into the room; Rude and Shuriken followed along with another man I didn't recognise. He was dressed in a green suit and had black hair, only when he walked a little closer did I notice his huge beard and middle "Teya, this is Heidegger. He's the head of Shin-ra's Public Safety Maintenance Department" said Tseng's voice

"Gya ha ha ha!" Heidegger yelled, I winced slightly

"Nice to meet you sir" I replied softly, Heidegger nodded at me

"When is Professor Hojo arriving Tseng? I haven't got all day!"

"Of course not sir" Tseng replied. I let go of Reno's hand and laid back down onto the cool, metal table I was sat on. The medi-bay wasn't as large as I had expected it to be. There were about five of the metal tables, including the one I was laid on, a few cabinets containing odd looking solutions, a few medical tools that I recognised and a rather strange looking fridge in the corner. I did _not_ want to know what they were keeping in _there_ "I'm sure professor Hojo will be along shortly…" Tseng finished. Professor Hojo…where is that name from…wait, Professor Hojo…coming to the medi-bay…"the injection…" I mumbled, surprisingly calm about the situation. Reno turned to look at me with a fake smile "you'll be alright" he lied, you could see it in his face

"Reno…" I whispered, my head felt dizzy still but it was that voice…Jenova's voice, it kept swirling around my head. Reno bent down on his knees "yeah?"

"Will it hurt?" I asked, already knowing the answer. Reno stared at me sympathetically for a moment

"Right, where is my lovely specime- I mean where is this lovely girl?" a high pitched voice, who I recognised to be Hojo's, said. Tseng cleared his throat, Reno grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight "good luck" he whispered before turning and walking out of my view

"She's there" said Heidegger, I heard footsteps coming towards me slowly, I was about to meet the man who was going to turn me into a monster. I tried to lift my arms again but this time I couldn't, nor could I move my legs. My eyes glanced down to look at them to find metal braces covering them and a look of shame on Shuriken's face, she must of done it when Reno was talking to me. Another person came into view. He was much older than anyone else, his black hair ran back into a ponytail that dangled in my face irritatingly and his glasses were perched ever so lightly on the tip of his small nose. He stepped away from me, dragging his long white lab coat along the floor "your Hojo right?" I asked, getting scared as he fiddled with some of the solutions in the cupboards whilst his back was turned to me "that's correct" he replied, laughing slightly "this time, I shall have success!" he whispered

"_this time?"_ I thought. Hojo turned around with a sly look "hee hee hee, don't worry my dear, this won't hurt a bit" in Hojo's hand there was a large needle with a glowing blue liquid inside of it "this is merely Mako" he finished, walking slowly towards me. I shifted uncomfortably on my table trying another worthless attempt at breaking free but it was no use, Hojo laughed "oh my, well I'm sure you'll have no trouble with those straps once I give you _this_" he announced whilst slipping the needle gently under my skin. I winced slightly and shut my eyes tight _"this is not happening, this is not happening!"_ I screamed in my head, but it was happening "…but Professor, Mako can't cause that amount of strength" said Shuriken, Hojo opened his mouth to reply but was stopped by my screaming.

I felt like I was on fire, every single part of me going up in flames, it stung, it ached, it was driving me mad. The flames licked at my arms and legs before going straight to my head, it burnt. My throat closed over to give me a feeling of suffocation, it was like I was being drowned! My body felt like it was being crushed, every part of me ached and wouldn't stop. I felt like I was dying. Eventually I came to terms with my own scream dominating the medi-bay. The rest of the Turks stood by the entrance watching me writhe, Shuriken had already left the room however Hojo and Heidegger seemed to find it entertaining "when will this end?" Tseng's muffled voice said, Hojo cackled

"Not soon enough" he replied. My screaming got louder and I began to think that this elemental pain would never stop "Hojo! Make this stop!" Reno yelled

"It's all part of the process you stupid Turk, now shut up!"

"**Please make it stop!"** I managed to yell with hot tears streaming down my face however, I was at a point where I didn't know if it was tears or blood, making everyone's heads turn towards me. Hojo sighed

"I suppose I could…" he replied, the Mako stormed through my body, ripping the old flesh away and replacing it with new, tougher muscle. My body was numb, I thought I was going to pass out "Shuriken is right Hojo" Tseng began, bringing me back to reality "Mako alone cannot cause that much strength" he finished "hee hee hee" Hojo twittered "that is correct Tseng, but if I added Jenova cells to the mixture…what will I get?"

"Jenova cells?" Tseng questioned, Hojo pulled out another needle. This time it was filled with an pale red coloured liquid "**Hojo NO!"** yelled the Turks together

"We don't know what it will do to her!" Tseng yelled

"Teya could die!" Reno added but this made no difference, the lighting became dimmer and my eyesight becoming fuzzy

"Who would miss an assassin?" Hojo replied as he lifted some hair off of my neck. I heard clattering and glasses breaking but I was too light headed to know what was going on "Hojo stop!"

"She'll die!"

"No!"

"We didn't agree to this…!". But Hojo had made up his mind. I felt another prick in my neck and another liquid slowly settle inside me. The pain of the Mako injection slowly disappeared, it faded away along with my screams. I caught my breath and tried to see what was going on "Reno? Tseng? Rude?" I mumbled "shh" came a voice "this will make you feel better"

"Hojo! Get away from her!"

"_Reunion"_ said that gentle voice, it slipped inside my mind as I closed my eyes

"Teya! Don't close your eyes!"

"_See Sephiroth"_ Jenova cooed before throwing me into a vast frenzy of images.

I saw fire, I felt the heat. I saw death, I felt the pain and I saw _him_. Sephiroth. He was killing people, innocent people and laughing at it _"worthless humans"_ his voice laughed. His long silver hair touched his ankles neatly as he turned his back on me. A long sword was in his hand and it swayed gently as he walked away from me, his black trench coat blowing in the little breeze _"this planet belongs to mother"_ he cried out with joy _"and we shall rule it together, as one!"_. I fell , I don't know how or where but I just kept falling from the image until I finally came face to face with Jenova. It's silver hair curled around it's face as it stared at me. At first it did nothing, merely stared until finally it screamed _"Come to my reunion!" _

"What's wrong with her?!"

"_I am Mother"_

"Teya?!"

"_Don't be afraid"_

"She's having a…fit!"

"_See my son…" _

"Hojo what have you done!?"

"_Sephiroth…". _

My eyes opened quickly and I took a large intake of breath. Someone in the room jumped back but quickly rushed over to the table "Teya?!" said a familiar voice "Teya, it's me Rufus. Are you alright?" he asked, I looked around but all I saw was light "wher-who-why?" was all I got out

"Teya…" Rufus replied, grasping my hand. I began to pant loudly

"What happened?" I asked, still trying to catch my breath

"It's ok, it's ok" Rufus mumbled

"Where's Hojo?!" I demanded, noticing he was not still present in the room

"I sent him away" Rufus replied softly. I coughed slightly and looked down to notice my arms and legs were free, they had red marks around them from where the metal strap had rubbed "you look ill Teya" Rufus commented, running a hand through his blonde hair as I sat up "I feel…". How did I feel? I felt energised, ready to take on the world. I felt…powerful "I'm fine" I smiled, slightly astonished that I survived, Rufus sighed with relief "Where are Tseng and the others?"

"There back on their floor. They were worried about you" he replied, I frowned

"But…they were here just a minute ago"

"They were here three hours ago. You've been out cold"

"Huh?" I said stupidly, Rufus laughed

"You had us worried for a moment. One minute your screaming, the next minute your not then all of a sudden your having a fit!"

"A fit?!" I spluttered

"Yeah, your eyes were flickering too. Poor Shuriken had to leave the room…_again_" he chuckled, his face suddenly went serious "are you ok?" he asked, I nodded slowly feeling a slight tingling sensation in my shoulders "Teya , I'm sorry…"

"For what?"

"For not being able to stop Hojo…" he said, rubbing the back of his neck shyly. I leaped off the metal table and smiled "it's ok, you tried"

"Yes well sometimes trying isn't good enough" he replied with a sigh, I frowned slightly

"Hmm, well in this case that rule doesn't apply, don't beat yourself up, it not worth it. It's over. Thanks Rufus" I grinned, Rufus smiled slightly

"Hmm"

"Hey, I know this may sound stupid but is there anyway of getting these…Jenova cells out of my system?" I asked, Rufus looked at me curiously

"How do you know about the Jenova cells?" he asked softly. I cleared my throat

"After Tseng told me about the injection I wanted to talk to you…but…I overheard your conversation with Hojo…" I mumbled, Rufus sighed and ran a hand through his hair

"I tried to stop him…but…" he stuttered

"Hey, as long as I stay alive I'm not gonna' blame you" I chuckled

"That's just it…we don't know if you'll survive this Teya" he ranted "and even if you do…you may…" he paused, frowning as he stared at me "I may?" I pressed softly, Rufus shrugged

"There's nothing we can do. I'm sorry" he replied

"So…what happens now?" I asked quietly, Rufus shrugged

"You'll be trained as normal…" he replied "but we'll have to keep a close eye on you…your mental state"

"Mental state?!" I stammered, Rufus nodded slowly

"I-…" he began but was cut off by a rather worried red headed Turk barging into the room

"Is she awake?" he asked, not noticing that I was stood about two metres away from him

"Yeah" I replied with a smile, Reno's head turned sharply and his cocky grin returned instantly

"Good"

"You were worried about me?" I asked slyly, Reno flushed

"Ugh…no, I just…wanted to get your training started that's all…" he stuttered, I shook my head with a laugh "whatever hot head, what's first on my list?"

"Getting into shape" he replied happily

"I'm fit enough thank you" I smirked, Reno stared at me for a moment. You could tell he wanted to reply to that in a "Reno" way by his facial expression but Rufus was still present "I take it you can take care of her from here Reno?" he asked, glaring slightly at the red head. Reno shrugged

"Sure thing Vice" Reno chuckled, slightly less formal to Rufus then he originally was

"That's "sir" to you Turk" Rufus grumbled, the blonde then turned towards me "Will you be ok?" he asked gently "yeah. Thanks…sir" I smirked, Rufus rolled his eyes with a smile before walking out the door. Reno placed a hand on my shoulder as soon as he was out of sight "look, I'm sorry about what I said on Friday"

"Friday?" I questioned

"In the elevator. Us Turks…we look out for each other. I didn't exactly make you feel welcome did I?"

"Not really" I scoffed "hey, don't worry about it. Whatever happens…happens" I finished "so" I began again "where do I go to get into shape?", Reno chuckled

"The gym"

"This place has a _gym_?!" I screeched

"Yeah, it even has a gift shop" he chuckled, I frowned

"A…gift shop?"

"That's right, for visitors" he shrugged "pointless eh? But this company will do anything to claw more gil in"

"Hmm" I replied, money. It was always about money. And this company was no different, no doubt the employees were the same and that included Reno. The red head stepped slowly towards the metal door and slid it open for me "shall we?" he smirked, I smiled at him sweetly as I walked past him although I had no idea where I was going "so ugh, where am I going again?" I asked shyly, Reno chuckled

"The gym is underneath the lab" he said cockily "you see" he began as we walked towards the stairs "the Shin-ra building is very dull Miss Barlow and the president himself has discovered a unique way of making it all look the same by painting every single think silver!" he sniggered, I laughed as he spoke. It was true, most of the inside of the Shin-ra building was either silver or black. The only splash of colour you'd ever see was in a light. I took my first step as we walked down the stairs with Reno only a second behind me, a part of me was looking forward to what the next six months had to offer but that fear was still there, lurking in the back of my mind. My hand tingled suddenly and my eyes jerked down to it quickly as my fingers suddenly vaulted them forward violently. It was if they had a mind of their own! Reno obviously noticed my sudden change in attention "you ok?" he asked cautiously , I had stopped walking without knowing as my mind was transfixed on my now spastic hand however, Reno himself was more concerned with, although I didn't know at the time, my mental state "Teya?" he said, more confidently this time, I heard his feet shuffle around so he was stood in front of me "Teya?" he repeated, looking directly at my face. I could feel his eyes burning into me, eventually I composed myself and shook my enthusiastic hand with a mighty flick, scrunching my hand into a fist a few times after "damn hand…" I mumbled with a laugh, my head looked up to see Reno frowning at me slightly

"You alright?" he said quizzically, I scoffed

"Yeah, my hand just went numb, that's all". But it wasn't all. Reno turned on his heel slowly and continued to walk down the mountain of steps ahead of me. My eyes took a glance at my now still hand and thought about that feeling that had surrounded it a moment ago. I had lost control of my own hand

"_Jenova". _I gasped as that silky voice whispered inside my head

"What?" I asked, Reno stood at the bottom of the steps holding another door open

"I didn't say anything" he replied

"Huh?" was the only thing I said before realising I hadn't moved an inch still

"I…didn't say anything…you sure your alright?". His words didn't actually sink in as I thought about the voice I had just heard _"wake up!" _.

"Yeah I'm ok" I replied with a smile, practically skipping down the stairs.

_Oblivious to my own sickness. Oblivious to my own enemy. Oblivious to the danger lurking in the darkness waiting to swallow me. Oblivious to myself. _

Reno showed me around the gym taking care not miss out one single detail, I knew he enjoyed my company but come _on_. Anyway, the gym was quite high-tec but then again I had never set foot in a gym before so I suppose that didn't really help at all. There were six treadmills lined up neatly on one side of the room, some of them were occupied with panting, sweaty employees. I screwed my face up when I saw them…and smelt them _eugh_. On the opposite wall there were a couple rowing machines humming silently, I had only ever used a rowing machine once and that was at school. The memory of that was extremely disturbing. Let's just say I had ended up on the floor with my legs still attached. Next to the rowing machines there were four exercise bikes. I had always wanted to get on one of those, ever since I had seen _Bridget Jones Diary._ Although, I'd probably end up flat on my face just as she did. Reno then showed me the dumbbells I would have to lift for about thirty minutes "thirty minutes!?" I had yelled, Reno nodded and laughed "so will _you_ be training me?" I asked with a smile, Reno chuckled

"No. I'll be teaching you how to fly but Rude is going to be your fitness instructor"

"Why am I not surprised?" I asked sarcastically. Don't get me wrong, I liked Rude…from what I had heard from him but I often felt uncomfortable around him, with Reno it was much easier to talk. Reno chuckled slightly as we walked over to Rude who was waiting by a punch bag near the back of the room "hey Rude!" Reno yelled happily, slapping the larger mans shoulder in the process, Rude grunted in response. Although it was hard to tell, that was Rudes' way of saying "hi". I smirked at Reno's attempt at getting the older man to talk "how are ya partner?" he asked cockily

"Fine" Rude replied, not moving from his straight form

"Well that's cool yo" Reno grinned happily, sticking his hands in his pockets lazily "shall I leave ya to it buddy?" the red head shrugged, Rude nodded slightly before turning on his heel and heading into a supply closet that was behind him. Reno turned to me and smirked "I'll leave you in Rude's capable hands" , I suddenly felt awkward, I didn't want Reno to leave me with Rude alone. The red head seemed to know how to act around the bald man, I didn't. But he did, his red pony tail swaying gently as he walked out the door, seeing the back of Reno wasn't exactly making me feel better. Despite my determination not to admit it, Reno was extremely attractive and unfortunately he was the only Turk I felt completely comfortable around. What that could lead to, I'd rather not think about.

Rude shuffled out of the supply closet and throwing me a bottle of water and a blue, cotton towel. I stared at him quizzically, it was hard to imagine him as a gentle man but Rufus had explained that he had been once upon a time "what are you lookin' at?" Rude demanded, his black shades blocking off his expression as the rest of his face showed nothing "ugh…I erm…" I panicked, Rude sighed and gestured for me to follow him.

We walked out of the Gym, heading towards the stairs that Reno and I had travelled down moments before however, instead of climbing them we walked straight past them and through another door that I had not noticed before. Rude kindly held the door open for me and I muttered my thanks as I past him. From what I could see, the room I was stood in was like a dance hall. Mirrors running down the side that reflected the pale light coming from the bulbs above, I stared at my reflection. I suited a Turk uniform, much to my dismay. My pale face and green eyes mixed in well with the dark colours. I had noticed, during my stay, that I had become paler than before, then again I wasn't eating as healthily as I used too back home.

Rude grunted, trying to catch my attention, and I gasped as he walked over to what looked like a CD player "you ever done a bleep test?" he asked, in a monotone fashion . A bleep test? Oh yes I had done a bleep test before. The horrible, bone aching, breath taking bleep test which caused you to lose the ability to walk for about three days after you had done it. The last time I had done one was in year nine and even then I was bad at it. Only God knows how bad I'll be at it now, my fitness wasn't exactly the top of my agenda. I nodded shyly, feeling slightly anxious and, if I were honest, nauseous. Rude let out a low grumble which, I think, intended to be a chuckle "don't worry, you'll be fine"

"I hate bleep tests!" I moaned without thinking, Rude cocked his head to one side slightly for a moment before shuffling back to his original position "it has to be taken. One at the beginning of the training, one in the middle and one at the end" he commented, almost laughing. I groaned again

"Oh Gaia!" I cried out "Rude, I can't run for beans. It's not something I'm good at"

"Well, it's something that has to be done, so you might wanna' get on with it" he grunted, I groaned again in response but reluctantly gave in as I did in my school.

The bleep test was a nightmare. After running for what seemed like hours, I didn't have the energy to move let alone head to the canteen to meet Tseng for materia training. Surprisingly, I was actually fitter than I thought I was. Last time I checked, I couldn't down the local shop before getting warn out. Something was strange though, normally I would get tired quite easily but whenever I would feel out of breath slightly or feel the aching pain of a stitch there would be this massive surge of energy to boost me. Like a spare battery of something. Maybe it was the Jenova cells or something…Probably, I felt the same tingling sensation in my legs as I felt in my hand….

The canteen was silent, still stinking of cigarettes and coffee made Irish. Tseng said to meet at the canteen to discuss…material, or materia or something odd. He had said that this was probably one of the hardest things I'd have to do but I would be the judge of that.

My head tingled again and a searing pain washed through me violently causing me to scream, clasping my head as I did so. It was like someone had just set my brain alight, it burned _"Jenova" _it whispered again making me scream harder "please!" I yelled, shutting my eyes from the pain

"_Why?" _it whispered again, it's voice becoming less and less threatening

"I can't take it!" I screamed before falling to the floor

"_Exactly" _it muttered. I groaned, feeling like I was going to throw up as the pain seemed to slowly fade away and the darkness settled in.

"_You are nothing but a puppet. You were born a puppet. You shall live a puppets life. And you will die a puppet. Worthless life. Empty. Hollow." _


	6. Training pat 2

I'm sorry it took me so long to update. I have got my inspiration back now. Enjoy!

"Oh, my head!" I groaned as my eyes barely managed to crack open slightly "Is this what a hangover feels like?" I questioned, placing my hand on my sweaty forehead. A low chuckle came from the other side of the room making me opening my eyes fully with shock and sat up slightly "who's there?!" I demanded, my body reluctant to move due to lack of energy "who do ya think?" a cocky tone replied from the dark corner "Reno? Did you find me again?"

"No" he replied sternly "another worker found you . Remember anything?" he asked slowly with a hint of a smile in his tone, I layed back down on the table I was placed on in the medi-bay and tried to remember but there was nothing, my memory was blank. I shook my head slightly, feeling more useless and irritated by the second "don't worry" Reno commented "Hojo is coming into see you soon. He'll figure out what's wrong with you", I scoffed

"Honestly, do we really need to wonder? I know what's wrong, you know what's wrong. Why can't we just get these god damn cells out of me!" I yelled, Reno chuckled again and walked into my line of vision above me "if only it were that simple"

"Why isn't it?"

"I dunno, do I look like a scientist?" he smirked, I forcefully laughed and smiled slightly at him. Though it only lasted for about two seconds, it felt like thousands. We just stared at each other until Reno finally said "can you sit up?". His voice broke the silent tension building up inside my body, my mind went back to the soothing voice of Jenova cooing into my thoughts _"puppet…"_

"Argh!" I yelled with pain, grabbing my head

"Teya!?" Reno panicked

"_puppet…"_

"No!" I cried, scrunching my eyes together, my nails digging into my forehead and dragging themselves down my skin making me yell out more. I felt Reno grab my wrists tightly and yank them away from my head obviously noticing I was doing myself more damage "Teya stop!" he ordered, my head felt it was about to explode. Reno, who's hands were still holding my wrists, started yelling for Tseng. _"Why do you reject me? Mother? Why do you reject me?" _. Reality suddenly hit me and I sat up violently, almost knocking Reno to the floor "Teya!" he yelled, staring at me wide eyed "are you alright?" his grip on my wrists softening slightly, Tseng suddenly burst through the door looking as sharp as ever. Tseng always had a sense of composure about him, no matter what situation he was thrown into. No panic in his eyes. No tremble in his voice. No shake in his posture. He just oozed confidence. "What's wrong?" he asked sternly, Reno's eyes never left my face "Teya, she…"

"What?" he pushed, stepping towards us. I suddenly felt dizzy and sick, my throat closed over making me cough. I pushed past Reno and forced him to let go of me as I rushed towards the sink in the medi- bay "Teya?" Tseng and Reno mumbled together

"I'm gonna-" I began before I started throwing up in the sink I was lent over. I hated being sick, although it never really had a long term effect it always seems to leave me feeling weak. After forcing myself to get rid of everything, despite the fact I hadn't eaten anything yet, I stood up shakily and leaning against the violated sink. I sighed and closed my eyes, there was a pause

"Holy shit…" Reno muttered under his breath, still staring at me

"Huh?" I grunted, opening my eyes and glancing at the red head. Reno pointed to his chin obviously wanting me to check mine, I brushed my hand against my chin lightly only to find a small amount of blood running down from my mouth "wha-?" I gasped, turning on my heel quickly to stare at the sink. Crimson liquid was running down the sides "fuck" Tseng muttered, much to my surprise. Tseng didn't seem much like the type to cuss "I'll go get Hojo" Tseng commented before walking out the door and slamming it behind him. "_Accept me" _

"_No"_

"_**Accept me!" **_

Reno walked up behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder "you ok?"

"Right now?" I asked sarcastically "right now, no"

"Look, your gonna' be ok. We'll help you"

"Reno you don't know that"

"No, but Hojo will". Whether Reno was right I didn't know but I would soon find out, was this the cells or was I just sick? If it was the cells, were they rejecting my body? And if they were, was there a way to get them out? "It's only been a few hours" I commented

"Probably the way it works…Jenova cells". I groaned, my head was throbbing

"I need to sit down" , Reno shoved his hands in his pockets as I made my way over to the bed. _"What's happening to me?" _

"_Accept me…"_. Maybe I should, maybe I should just accept who or whatever's in my head, maybe it'll stop. The door burst open and in came Tseng and Hojo, who was looking pissed off as ever "this better be important Tseng. I put a very important experiment on halt for this!" his squeaky voice yelled, I cleared my throat quietly, tasting more foul metallic liquid swirling around at the back of my throat. Reno walked over to Tseng and stood behind him, he started to whisper something in his ear as Hojo shuffled up to me and took out a small white torch from his lab coat pocket "I hear your not feeling to good" he mumbled as he switched the small torch on and shone it into my eyes "look up…now down…left…hmm…and right" he paused "look left for me again…"

"Is there something wrong?" Tseng asked, glancing occasionally at the sink

"I'm not sure, I'll need to take some blood" Hojo looked at the two male Turks out the corner of his eye "…to see whether it's the cells doing this or whether she is just generally sick"

"What if she is sick? What will you do then?" asked Reno calmly

"I think the more pressing matter is whether it's the cells…if it is and they are rejecting her body, it'll kill her"

"What?"

"Jenova cells are very specific when it comes to their living conditions and can only divide if the white blood cells allow them too. They can survive if a certain dose of them is placed inside the host, they can then get rid of the white blood cells in the hosts body. But that's the only way. And I'm sure I put enough inside of her…"

"Can we get them out of her?" Tseng asked, who was probably the calmest person in the room

"Do I look like a miracle worker?" Hojo asked walking over to a cabinet on the other side of the room, when he opened it, a flood of needles followed along with rubber gloves and a bottle of what I hoped to be disinfectant "so, what do we do?" I asked, my voice causing silence for a moment

"I check your blood for a start. If the cells are alive, I can determine that your sick. If the cells are dead…" Hojo paused, Tseng and Reno shuffled slightly "then you will soon follow" he finished with no hint of emotion. It was obvious Hojo wasn't the type of man to actually care about live things that he was experimenting on, but I guess that was just the curse of a scientist. Hojo slid the gloves onto his hands and sprayed the liquid in the bottle onto my arm after I had rolled up my sleeve. In a way I new what was going to happen. The cells were alive, if they weren't then why do I keep hearing these voices? But they didn't know that. Hojo picked up the needle slowly and slid it under my skin gently, unlike the injection before. I had never had blood taken before and the thought that needle was still in my skin made the thought worse. The stinging sensation eventually came to a halt as the needle was taken out of my arm and was replaced with a tissue to stop any blood "when will you know?" I asked as Hojo examined the red liquid in the needle "in a few minutes". All three of us waited patiently as Hojo placed some of my blood onto a slide and slid it under a microscope in the corner of the room, he muttered to himself as he stared at the slide "hmm very interesting" he would sometimes say or "wow, this is…" as if he were to say something brilliant but would always end it with "…strange" which didn't help my worrying mind and by the look at Tseng and Reno, it didn't help theirs either. Hojo sighed and stood up straight away from the microscope "well?" I asked, frowning slightly whilst trying to read any expression on his face "the cells are very much alive and their killing off your white blood cells as planned", a thought suddenly struck me

"How is killing off my only defence against viruses good?"

"The Jenova cells will enhance them. In other words, their super charged white blood cells"

"If they're so great then why am I sick?" I asked confidently, out the corner of my eye I saw Reno smirk

"It's an effect…possibly" Hojo glared. He didn't know, you could see it in his bewildered expression

"So, I'm sick then" I stated, Hojo cleared his throat uncomfortably

"Is there anything else?"

"Anything else?"

"Anything out of the ordinary?" he asked, a droplet of sweat running down his forehead. I coughed slightly, should I tell them about the voices I kept hearing? Could they make it stop?

"_No" _

"Shit" I muttered

"Excuse me?" Hojo asked, slightly surprised,

"_Tell him to shut his mouth!" _

"Shut up" I mumbled in Hojo's direction, her voice felt like thousands of people were screaming in my ears "What did you say?"

"I said **shut up **are you deaf?!" I seethed, Reno and Tseng straightened themselves up with shock

"How **dare** you!" Hojo spoke angrily

"_Run" . _And so I did. I ran past Hojo and the two dumbstruck Turks who were, by the time I had gotten to the elevator, yelling my name. I could hear their feet rushing towards me, only God new how much trouble I was going to get in.

* * *

"Wait, wait, wait" said Dr Stewart, he was lent right forward towards me as I sat on the chair opposite him "so, this voice you kept hearing, it just told you what to do and you did it"

"Yes" I replied shortly, there was a pause. Dr Stewart cleared his throat

"Did it tell you to do anything else?"

"Like what? Be specific" I ordered, Dr Stewart thought for a moment

"Did it tell you to kill people?", I frowned for a moment. Did she?

"_Yes. And you did it" _

"Yes" I replied confidently "and "it" is a "she"" I added. Dr Stewart fiddled with his tie for a moment

"Who did she ask you to kill?"

"Lot's of people"

"Reno?"

"Yes" I mumbled sadly

"Did you?" he asked slowly

"Of course not!" I yelled "**I love Reno!"**. Another pause. Dr Stewart looked at me sympathetically "I mean…I **loved** Reno…".

"What happened after that incident? Did you find out why you were sick?"

"Yes"

"Well?" he urged. I chuckled darkly

"Believe it or not, it was because I had serious food poisoning. Tseng told me to take the next few days off "

"Did you not get into trouble for your behaviour?" he pondered, I smirked

"Rufus got me out of it. As soon as Rufus got involved Hojo started talking about how the cells can make a persons personality change very drastically"

"Did he mention the voices?"

"No"

"Did you?", I sighed

"No"

"Why not?"

"There was no point!" I snapped "no one would have believed me"

"How do you know that?"

"Because I do!"

"_Kill him" _. I gasped and put my hand to my head slowly, my fingers automatically started rubbing my temples "are you alright?" Dr Stewart asked, standing up from his chair and walking towards me

"**Don't…** come… near me" I stammered "I'll-…I'll hurt you if you do…". But still he approached

"Teya, do you still hear these voices?" he asked slowly

"Yes" I replied, letting go of my head and staring at him. Dr Stewart sighed

"What does it feel like, any pain?" he continued

"It feels like lightning shooting through my head." I replied, scrunching my eyes together

"Do you see anything?"

"A flash…a blue flash…" I growled, but my growl then turned into a laugh "you think I'm crazy don't you?" I said calmly "well that doesn't surprise me"

"Teya you haven't told me the whole story yet and…by the looks of things I wouldn't say you were crazy…" he muttered, I sighed

"I wish I was crazy. Then I could stop having these nightmares". Dr Stewart fiddled with his glasses slightly and sat back down on his chair comfortably "right, what happened after you got back to work?"

* * *

I walked into the Turks office one morning. I had been off sick for about a week and a half. Reno had come to visit me once or twice but he never stayed longer than 10 minutes, Tseng would always call him asking where he was. Reno lived up on the plate quite near the Shinra building but he didn't care for a huge fancy house, or so he said. It was a week of horror for me, food poisoning was the worst! I was sick nearly everyday, but as the week progressed I became well enough to return to work but Tseng still sent me back to the inn and had said I was to stay there for another week. But I couldn't take another 3 days doing nothing.

"Your not supposed to be here" Shuriken had said in a sing song voice, I shrugged

"I'm fine" I replied, smiling weakly

"Ok, I'll believe that when I see you go through one day without fainting" she scoffed

"I'm alright, really" I protested, it wasn't Shuriken I was going to have to convince, it was Tseng but there was no sign of him, even in his office "where's Tseng?" I had asked Shuriken who was busy at her desk "ugh…he's dealing with some business with the president for a minute…" she coughed, I sighed "is there anything I can do to help you?" I asked gently, Shuriken laughed

"Yes. Go home!"

"Why?"

"Look, if your going to get through this training then your going to need your strength aren't you?"

"Yeah but-"

"No "buts". Go home Teya" she grinned. I sighed, Shuriken was right despite how bored I was

"How are you feeling?" Rufus asked, I swirled around on my chair to face him and smiled cheerfully

"Surprisingly tired but apart from that, good thanks", Rufus chuckled, he was leant up against the door frame and smirked

"Ready to get back to work already?"

"I'm bored" I replied mockingly "please save me from that at least!"

"Want me to give you some paperwork to sign?", there was a pause

"I want to do something _other_ than that" I moaned, Rufus laughed

"Well…what was next on your list for training?"

"Materia…did I pronounce that right?"

"Yes" Rufus grinned, Shuriken sighed "I'll go an get Tseng. But if he's gets pissed at me I'm gonna' have your head."she grinned, defeated

"Thank you" I smiled at her retreating form. Rufus folded his arms and smirked

"have you used materia before?", I shook my head shamefully trying not to look as if I was _completely_ clueless "have you even _heard_ of materia"

"Nope" I sighed

"Oh dear…" Rufus chuckled "this may be a bit of a shock then"

"Why? What _is_ materia?" I asked curiously, Rufus sighed

"Well…materia is created when Mako is condensed" he started

"Wait, Mako is that stuff you use to produce energy right?"

"Yes" Rufus nodded so I urged him to continue about materia

"Well, what does materia do exactly?" I pondered, Rufus smirked

"Well ugh, materia is…what is does exactly is um…eh…I can't really explain it without sounding…"

"Sounding?"

"Childish. You see, materia let's us use…magic in a sense". There was a pause as I stared at him blankly. Magic? Magic! Did he think I was stupid or something?! "Magic?" I questioned, to which Rufus nodded his head. I couldn't help but snigger lightly "you mean levitation and stuff" that was my breaking point. I couldn't stop myself from bursting out into a fit of laughter "come on Rufus, don't prat about. Everybody knows there's no such thing as magic", Rufus stared at me with one eyebrow raised "I don't mean levitation" he said numbly "I mean like fire, water, ice and earth. Elements" he finished proudly, my laughter came to a halt "how on Gaia would you use them to help you?"

"By summoning them via materia" I chuckled again

"Summoning them?"|

"Yes!" Rufus said bluntly, slightly frustrated at my laughter

"Ok, ok , ok. Say there was a chance that your not yanking my chain, how would you use materia?"

"That's what Tseng is going to teach you isn't it?" the blonde smiled "you'll enjoy it". Just as I was about to reply the door swung open with a mighty crash and Tseng came waltzing in, confident as always "what are you doing here?" he questioned, staring at me

"I'm feeling better" I smirked, Tseng growled something under his breath

"Go home"

"Aw c'mon Tseng…I mean sir! I'm so bored! I just wanna' learn some more things!" I pleaded miserably, Tseng rolled his eyes involuntarily "and what if you faint again?"

"Well…_then_ you have permission to send me home" I grinned hopelessly "…and besides, I want to lean some _magic_" I chuckled, Tseng smirked and turned his gaze towards Rufus who stood with his arms crossed, leant up against my new desk "aw c'mon Tseng. What harm could it do?" Rufus smirked, Tseng sighed, he couldn't argue with the vice president "follow me" he growled before spinning on his heel and storming out the door, throwing a pile of reports that he was originally holding onto Reno's desk. Where was he today anyway?

I followed Tseng through twisting corridors and down stairs until eventually he presented me with a similar training room to the one Rude and I had been in except this one was slightly different. Instead of gym equipment there were an array of glowing orbs in one glass cabinet and next to it there was another glass cabinet filled with…metal armbands? Tseng walked up to it and pulled the doors open smoothly, he gazed over the metal arm…thingies until he finally chose a polished brass one. It had three holes running through it and looked as if it would reach up to my elbow "put this on" he ordered dully, passing me the brass stick of metal. It was heavier than I expected but I slipped it on with ease surprisingly "so what now?" I asked dumbly, hardly impressed

"Be patient" Tseng commented whilst examining the contents of the other cabinet. He picked up a small green orb and smirked slightly "this one will do" he mumbled before strutting towards me, holding it firmly in his hand "focus" he stated before handing it to me. Funny, it looked smaller in my hand than it did in his "what do I do with it?" I nearly laughed, Tseng rolled his eyes

"Take this seriously. If this goes wrong Gods know what will happen to you" he smirked, my eyes widened "what?"

"Never mind. See the holes in the armlet?", I raised an eyebrow before realising he mean the armband thing "y-yeah…?"

"Put the materia through the holes" he stated simply, folding his arms with a bored expression. I stared at him blankly, was he stupid or something "what's wrong?" he asked after a few moments of silence

"I think there's a problem with that" I sniggered blankly

"What?" he pressed, frustrated

"My skin!" I yelled, Tseng looked at me dumbly

"Just do it. Your in for one hell of a shock". I rolled my eyes, determined to convince myself that this was the most stupidest thing I'd ever heard. I raised my hand quickly and hovered the small green ball over the first hole _"focus"_. I placed the orb into the hole and just like that, it was gone. It faded into my arm "what the f-"

"_**I**_ think you can stop yourself from finishing that sentence" Tseng smirked, I started hyperventilating slowly but surely _"calm down"_ . Tseng walked up to board on the left side of the hall and ordered me to stand opposite it "right, focus" he commanded

"Focus on what?!" I said ludicrously

"The materia"

"How?!" I screeched, panicking that there was a green sphere in my arm. Tseng rolled his eyes again and rubbed his temples "there's no proper way to explain it…just try it"

"Well…what…kind…or…what sort of materia is it?" I asked lazily

"Fire" Tseng replied, I gasped

"_Fire?"_ I thought _"how am I supposed to use fire…dare I say it, magic?"_

"_I'll show you" _she said smoothly _"think of that heat. Think of the vibrant colour of that dancing wave as it licks at everything it touches. Close your eyes and…"_. Before I even knew what was going on my arm had started to tingle violently, when I looked down I saw it to be glowing a reddish colour "Tseng!" I yelled, not knowing what to do. Tseng glanced up at me with a slight smile

"That's it! Your doing it" he smirked but his smirk turned into fear when he realised I had my arm held up to him "turn your arm towards the wall and keep doing whatever the hell it is your doing" he chuckled quietly, I did as I was told before I felt the armlet that was wrapped around my arm grow hot for a second before a flash of light emitted from it. I had to shield my eyes for a moment but when I looked back there was a hole in the wall with black smoke rising from it, Tseng folded his arms triumphantly "there" he finished. I smiled wickedly

"That was amazing!" I yelled excitedly "can I do it again?" I asked like a child, Tseng almost laughed

"You have to be careful how much you use your materia. It comes at a cost"

"What cost?"

"Well, the more materia you have the less likely you are to be able to keep your strength up in a battle. And secondly, every time you use materia you use up a little bit of your "mental strength" as we put it"

"What does that mean?"

"Just don't go using it too much, else we're going to end up putting you in the nut house" Tseng grunted "okay, next type of materia…"

* * *

The lesson had gone on for a few painful hours. Tseng had taught me about summon materia, command materia the works. I wasn't to pleased however when he decided to teach me how to use "cure". Tseng had so politely enough decided to throw me half way across the room causing me to split my lip and force me to use it. Although, after the initial anger had passed, I was quite pleased how he had demonstrated it. If that what it was going to be like in the real thing, I might as well be prepared.

As I stepped into the cafeteria, which at this time was full, I noticed that the other Turks were no where in sight. In fact I hadn't seen Reno or Rude all day, not even walking around the building. I would have expected them to be here but obviously not. Tami was sat by herself over in the corner of the room so I walked over to her smiling cheerfully "hey" I waved, she smiled

"Well hey! Look who's back!" she laughed "feeling better?" she asked, flicking some of her blonde hair out of the way, I nodded vigorously "definitely" I replied, wrapping a strand of hair that had fallen into my face around my index finger. Tami grinned and gestured for me to sit down "so, what have you been doing all day?" she asked as I took the seat next to her

"Materia" I smiled proudly, Tami nodded

"How did you get on?"

"It's amazing! You get such a thrill from using it!" I exclaimed, Tami nodded "have you used it before?" I asked without thinking, Tami nodded again but slightly slower this time

"I'm not exactly good with it"

"How do ya' mean?" I pondered, Tami sighed sadly and bowed her head

"When I was little I took some of it from my fathers cabinet and I tried to use it. My brother tried to stop me but…I hit him instead" she mumbled, I stared at her for a moment

"Oh Tami…" I began, not really sure what to say "you were young…you didn't know any better" I finished, hoping that she felt better considering I had just put my foot right in it. She looked up and smiled weakly at me before her eyes glanced towards the door "well, well, well look who it is" she said sarcastically, her sly smile returning to her face. I glanced around to see a cocky red head striding towards me with his famous smirk printed on his face. I smiled slightly "hey|" he said smoothly, obviously trying not to look at Tami "why are you in work?" he asked, not actually sounding interested in his own question "I felt better" I replied numbly before turning back to Tami and rolling my eyes, Reno rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly "done any more training?"

"Materia"

"Any good?" he grinned, bending down to my height

"Eh, I'm not bad" I smirked, still looking at Tami "where've you been all day?" I asked, Reno stood up straight and shoved his hands in his pockets "been workin'" he replied, I looked up at him quickly. He had been "working" Does that mean… "oh" I replied sadly, not wanting to stare at him knowing it was going to make me think less of him and more importantly myself. Reno stuttered for a moment before placing a hand on my shoulder "hey, it was just a delivery", I shrugged his hand off of my shoulder

"Yeah, sure. I'll see you later Tami" I waved weakly in her direction and walked past the confused red head. He had killed someone today. And his once perfect face seemed to be destroyed by that fact. Delivery my ass. _"Stupid asshole"_

"_You got that right"_ I chuckled to myself but yet the feeling of fear couldn't help but creep up on me as I knew that would be me soon _"I'll make it easy" _.

I pushed threw the canteen doors and passed some staring employees, I had gotten used to that already "Teya?!" I heard his voice yell, I continued to walk, if not I started to walk faster. I didn't want to see him, it would be like looking into the mirror from the future or something! "Teya, stop!" he yelled, his voice slightly louder than before. My pace slowed and a sigh escaped my lips, he wouldn't stop. This was Reno for God's sake! "Yo!" the red head yelled, his footsteps slowed and eventually stopped behind me "what's the deal huh?" he slurred, I cleared my throat and turned on my heel

"Nothing I'm fine" I said quietly, running a hand threw my hair

"Aw come on" he smirked lustfully "what's up?", I sniggered

"Seriously I'm fine", Reno cocked his eyebrow slowly and his face suddenly became softer

"Hey, I-ugh…"

"Hey Teya!" a female voice called, I turned from Reno's gaze to find Shuriken strutting towards me confidently "hey Shuriken" I smiled "what's up?"

"Tseng wanted me to give you a road test on the shooting range if your not to busy" she grinned, some of her dark hair swinging in front of her eyes gently . I grinned back at her, this was something that I had been looking forward to strangely. Reno sighed behind me and my gaze returned to him "I'll see you later then" he groaned, his face slightly saddened but still he radiated with charm. He turned and walked away from, his hands shoved in his pockets lazily. I felt sort of bad for not speaking to him properly and it was sort of rude of me to just ignore him when he had gone out of his way to speak to me _"ah forget it. He's a big boy, he'll get over it"_

"_Yeah, your right",_ I smiled mentally at his retreating form.

* * *

Shuriken had led me to probably the biggest training room in the building. It was a plain hall with around ten booths running from the door to the other wall about fifty meters away from me. And in front of those booths was a distance I couldn't even estimate. Shuriken fiddled with some keys she held in her hand and walked over to what looked like a weapons cabinet "now…which one, which one?" she pondered, her finger placed neatly on her bottom lip as she gazed intently at the arrange of weaponry that was laid out in front of her. I looked at them blankly, I hated guns in every way imaginable "ah…this one should do" she said taking one off the rack "here" she finished placing the heavy metal directly into my hand. Again, I stared at it blankly, then at Shuriken "what now?" I asked dumbly, Shuriken sighed and handed me a few yellow pellets "load it" she ordered, watching me holding the gun and pellets "I-I don't know how" I mumbled, embarrassed at my lack of knowledge but then again knowing how to load a gun wasn't exactly my top priority. Shuriken giggled childishly for a moment and took the pellets and the gun from me "look this is a CZ 110 9 mm semi- automatic pistol. It's probably the easiest weapon to load" she laughed loading the gun without even looking at it "and it's pretty easy to fire" she finished, handing it back to me. I gazed at her as my fingers slipped around the gun comfortably "stand over there" she pointed at one of the booths and walked over to a switch next to the last booth and fiddled with a few buttons. Suddenly there was a mechanical roar above me, as I gazed up I noticed large transparent tubes being filled with a neon blue solution and the tubes started to move rhythmically. The roar suddenly turned into a sweet humming noise and Shuriken asked me again to stand over at the booth "you know how to cock a gun back right?" she asked hesitantly, I smiled sarcastically at her and cocked it back gently which made her grin "okay, when the targets fly, just pull the trigger"

"No shit" I murmured, holding the gun out ahead of me. It was strange, it felt right, me holding this weapon. It felt as if was the object that had been missing from my hands for such a long time it was unbearable. The was I took it with such ease and cocked it back with no hesitation, it was if I had done it a million times…but I hadn't. Suddenly the first target swung up quickly, making me flinch and without thinking I pulled the trigger "hey, keep your eyes open! If Tseng saw you do that on a mission he'd have a heart attack!" she ordered, I hadn't even realised I had closed them but as they creaked open I noticed that my hands were working with a mind of their own _"humph, as if. Just let me do the work. You'll fly through this then". _

When the targets finally stopped coming up the humming noise disappeared and the neon glow began to get dimmer as the tubes were drained "w-was that Mako?" I pondered aloud, staring up at the tubes

"Yeah" Shuriken replied, not looking at me. She was more focused on putting the weapons away safely and locking the cupboard behind her "what, that's it?" I asked, surprised how short this session had been "you did better then first impression had led to believe" she replied, sighing "you'll have more practice of course but for now your done"

"_Done? Done! Believe me, I'm only just getting started". _It was then I started to get worried.

* * *

_Three Months Later _

"_Wake up"_

I opened my eyes slowly to the burning neon light coming from the outside slum. The same kind of darkness every morning, I sighed as I sat up in bed. My hair had grown over my eyes again and I had to keep brushing it to the side, I made a mental note to get it cut _"do it yourself" _

"Aw man, not now! Every morning! Can't I have two minutes without you butting in!" I mumbled as I collapsed back onto my pillow, groaning as I did. A laugh slipped through my thoughts _"get up" . _I couldn't argue with her, I had tried that a few weeks ago but I keep forgetting the simple fact that she basically controls me. About six months ago that would have scared the shit out of me but now, it's just another day.

I stared at my pale reflection in the bathroom mirror, my hair which I had dyed dark red not too long ago reaching my shoulders in a scruffy fashion. A few freckles underneath my green eyes sitt- wait… "wha-?!" I gasped as I leaned closer to the mirror to get a better look. My eyes…they were no longer green! They were blue! Mako blue! "No, no, no!" I panicked, gazing at them intently "holy shit!"

"_Relax"_

"_Is this normal?"_ I asked her slowly

"_Yes, those infused with Mako…their physical features will also change. It's not just me"_, I sighed and stared down at the PVC white sink as my head started to spin "I thought there wouldn't be anymore changes!" I growled, punching the wall next to me

"_It's not that bad. It's just your eyes"_

"I DON'T EVEN RECOGNISE MYSELF ANYMORE!" I yelled, angry with the fact that I couldn't except how fast things were going. It still only felt like yesterday was when I got here

"_Time passes"_. I turned to the shower, sighing, defeated.

There was one good thing about today. I had finished my training, today I was going to be officially a usable Turk. That thought for some reason no longer frightened me, in fact it comforted me more than anything. I was surprised though, it was supposed to take six months to complete this training but it had only taken me half the time _"thanks to me". _I rolled my eyes and began getting ready for work

"_I wonder what my first mission will be"_ I wondered

"_Shinra may be ignorant but their not stupid. They'll start us off with something simple"_

"_Us?"_

"_Us. Yes". _I cleared my throat and straightened my tie before grabbing my keys

"Maybe they'll get me out of this inn" I smiled slightly as I turned on my heel and headed out the door. Because Shinra was giving me better pay I was able to keep up with the bills thankfully. Me and the owner had a an agreement considering he now knew what I did for a living.

After three months of agonizing bleep tests and obstacle courses I had finally come to the end of it. And today I was going to get my first assignment. The only way for me to get to the Shinra building was still by train but I didn't mind it that much considering that the people who were regularly on there now felt more comfortable with me being there.

Lately my mind seemed less focused on getting home and more on finishing this training. Sure, my thoughts sometimes drifted back to home but only when something reminded me of an aspect of it, never of my own free will. Sometimes, when I started thinking about it, I would wonder about how Jesse and Sarah were doing at school, whether dad had finally decided to quite smoking for good although, considering his daughter is missing, I could guess that he's most likely started to smoke _more_. My mum would be curled up on the sofa with a huge tub of ice cream no doubt, watching re-runs of old family films and TV shows we used to watch when I was younger…

The train came to a thunderous halt as people began to stand and shuffle their way off of the iron horse with some difficulty. People squeezed out of it, pushing and shoving all the way. The petite blonde woman who was always on the train was shoved violently to the side causing her to drop the black file she was carrying, spilling out a parade of white pages filled with black ink. I sighed as everyone just walked past her whilst she tried not to panic when some of the sheets started to fly away. One of the pages drifted gently onto my black shoe which had already been scuffed somehow, I looked at the title **SOLDIER DATA ANALYSIS FILE. **She obviously worked with SOLDIER…just below the Turks. Another sigh escaped me as I picked the slightly filthy sheet up and walked over to her "here you go" I said lightly, crouching down to her level as she frantically picked up her report "oh thank yo-" she began before looking up at me with shock "oh my…I'm so sorry Miss…!" she almost yelled as she snatched the piece of paper from my hand "do you want some help?" I offered, standing back up in a straight position "oh no, no, no" she muttered, her face going redder by the second "you have more important things to be doing Miss". After she had collected all of her papers, she stood pushing her blonde hair back from her eyes "thank you Miss" she mumbled

"What's your name?"

"Elena Miss" she replied, looking slightly confused as to why I was being nice to her

"I'm Teya. So cut all this "Miss" crap" I grinned, she returned an un-easy smile

"Forgive me for asking but your one of the Turks aren't you?"

"Yes"

"Oh…" she said sadly, I was about to question her about this but suddenly Professor Hojo caught my eye as he walked past us _"what's he doing at the train station?"_ I thought

"_Follow him"_

"Elena. What do you know about Professor Hojo?" I asked without thinking, Elena thought for a moment or two "he's been with the company for over thirty five years, he's an incredible scientist but to be honest, I think he's gone a bit mad" she replied, getting quieter as she finished her sentence

"How did he get here?" I pondered, my eyes not leaving Hojo's back

"No one knows. He just popped up here one day screaming things like "it worked, it worked" and the next thing we knew he was working for Shirna"

"It worked, it worked…?" I repeated slowly, my mind ticking over "…thirty five years…" but then something clicked _"as you can see, professor Hojo started to commence experiments in this very building. No one knows how or why, or even where the professor is now, he seems to have been missing now for over thirty five years. Only recent findings suggest that one of the professors experiments went extremely wrong and, in turn, may be to do with the professors disappearance". _

"I- ugh-gotta' go Elena. Sorry" I stuttered, storming passed her and in the direction of Hojo who had disappeared into an alley in the far corner of the station.

As steam seemed to surround this damp alley and civilisation seemed to disappear as I came closer to Hojo, who, if I heard correctly, was talking with another man. With my back against a wall and Hojo standing about six meters around the corner away from me I could just make out what they were saying "How's that new Turk experiment coming along? She dead yet?" a man chuckled

"Do not be foolish. She's alive and well. Now, stop wasting my time and give me my beautiful specimen" Hojo smiled, I then heard a small growling noise

"Ugh, no can do Hojo. This one's a little too big for you too carry. I'll have some of my boys drop it off tomorrow morning, first class…for a fee". It was at that point I realised I was late for work. It wasn't like there was anything sinister going on, Hojo had new creatures coming all the time. But still, why would he get this one in secret? Normally he would have to get it through Shinra, they would be delivered for him personally at the building, but Hojo was getting this one on his own. Did Shinra deny him this creature? And if so, why is it so important he gets it? And how is he going to get it in the building unnoticed?! There was no time to ponder it was already 7:45 and Tseng was going to have my head!

* * *

"I'm so sorry" I flustered as I burst through the Turks office door, panting as I slammed it shut. I had literally just run from the train station to this floor, it would be just my luck for the elevators to be out of order this morning. Shuriken was sat her desk, her brown hair curled gently and her suit as clean and crisp as ever. Her ever so famous warm smile crept onto her face "don't panic" she chuckled "Tseng isn't even here yet". Rude sat opposite her grunted in my direction which I took as a "good morning" from the bald man. I chuckled and waved in his direction "wheres-" I began but it would seem my question was a predictable one "probably hung-over" Shuriken moaned, rolling her eyes in the process, I heard Rude scoff "you weren't exactly a prize this morning until you had had your coffee". This took me back slightly as Rude, who was a man of few words, had actually cracked a small joke. My desk was next to Rude's and I had never felt prouder when I gazed at it but it would seem I had stared a little too long for me to go unnoticed "oh jeez" Shuriken started, galring at me with a smirk

"What?" I shrugged

"Oh come on. You! All dreamy eyed and proud" she grimaced "it's a desk! The only thing you should be proud of in this job is pulling off your first assignment and pulling it off well" she finished, I cocked my head to one side and scoffed "funny. I was half expecting you to say "the only thing you should be proud of in this job is staying alive"" I bit back, Rude suppressed a laugh and Shuriken smirked

"Ooooh, when did _you_ get so tough?" she laughed, standing up from her desk and walking over to me. She stared at my face for a moment or two before her laugh came to a sudden halt and her smile faded "what happened to your eyes?" she asked, I sighed and looked away from her

"_Do not be ashamed of me!". _A sudden pain jolted through my head making me wince

"Ugh, just probably the effect of the Mako…" I mumbled, surprised that Shuriken hadn't already guessed that. She nodded with a curious look in her brown eyes but I didn't want her to question me so I shuffled over to my desk and sat down with a sigh. Gods only knew what type of work I'd be doing today! And then, at that moment, it hit me that I may have to kill somebody today. My stomach felt uneasy at that point, they wouldn't ask an amateur to do something like that would they?

"_I hope so. I've been doing nothing but shooting ranges for the last three months!"_

"Jeez is Tseng here yet?" said a cocky tone, I looked up expectantly to see a red haired come swaggering in, sly grin firmly in place as usual. His eyes focused on me immediately "y'know, it's real weird not seeing you sat out there anymore" he said "I bet you miss that spinny chair" he chuckled, I smirked at him and laid back in my new leather chair "not as much as you think I would" I replied cockily "why are you late?" I asked, already knowing the answer

"We nearly drank ourselves to death last night, seriously! I don't even remember how I got home last night! Rude? Wanna' help me out a bit here buddy?" he looked over at his partner expectantly and the bald man sighed "I dropped you home"

"You don't drink Rude?" I asked, smiling

"Yeah, but when your out with Reno he's usually drank the bar dry before you even get there" he shrugged " I am not that bad!" Reno yelled, throwing his hands in the air as he strutted over to his desk next to Shuriken's and propped his feet up of the desk lazily "Reno, your not allowed back into half the bars in this city because of all the trouble you've caused. And the only reason the other half still let you in is because they know what you do for a living" Shuriken commented, signing a piece of paper on her desk. Reno merely shrugged and smirked triumphantly "and you think that's something I shouldn't be proud of?" he mocked lightly, Shuriken and Rude rolled their eyes lazily. The red head then placed his eyes on me again "we should take her out tonight" he began "to welcome her into the group…yeah?"

"Oh no, I'm still suffering from last night!" Shuriken replied, laughing slightly

"Count me out" Rude mumbled, Reno groaned and looked at me curiously. It took me a few moments to realise he was expecting an answer from me "me? Oh no I couldn't"

"Aw c'mon! Why not?" he pushed, looking like an annoyed child. I was a little embarrassed to say that I had never touched a drop of alcohol in my entire life, not even on my 18th ! "I- ugh…I'm really bad with alcohol…" I managed to spit out "You mean you're a lightweight?" Reno glared, I looked down shamefully

"Oh come off it Reno. If she don't want to go out for a drink, she don't want to go out for a drink. Leave her alone would ya?" Shuriken intervened, not looking at either me or Reno. The irritated Turk sighed defeated "GODS!" he yelled "I just don't get why-" he was cut off by the sound of an alarm raging across the building followed by the screams of panicked workers. All four of us stood immediately "what's going on?" I asked, looking at the door to the office

"Teya, top drawer of your desk, hurry!" Reno ordered before running out of the office with the other two Turks behind him. I opened the top drawer to find a small handgun that, after I had checked it, was already loaded thankfully. I took it without a second thought and rushed out the door to see the retreating form of Rude nearing the elevator "I thought they weren't working" I pointed out as I caught up with them "they're not" Rude replied after watching Reno jab several buttons with growing frustration "fuck it!" Reno cussed "we'll have to take the stairs"

"**Emergency Lock Down Initiated"** a woman's voice cooed throughout the halls

"What does that mean?" I asked fearfully

"It means we're stuck on this floor. Emergency lock down means all the doors stop working as well as the elevators and almost every single door in this building works from a central power system" Shuriken replied, I sighed "great. Surely you have a back up plan for this kind of thing. How are you supposed to get out of the building?"

"Each door is given a pass code but those codes have been refreshed lately and we haven't been told what the new codes are yet"

"Shit…" I groaned, collapsing against a wall behind me

"_Don't give up yet. Go down the stairs" _. I stood up drowsily and scurried over and down the stairs

"Teya what the hell are you doing?!"

"_Go over to the panel and break it off"_ .I did. About six different wires were presented to me _"snap the blue one"_ she ordered. I grabbed the plastic blue wire and twisted it until it finally broke in two making the metal door in front of me slide open revealing the science department in pandemonium. Scientists were running about the lab, putting out fires and picking up files. The lab was a wreck! Tables had been overturned, glass was everywhere and the red light being emitted from the alarm light dominated the room. The other Turks rushed down and gasped as smoke swamped their faces "what the hell happened here?" Reno yelled to one of the scientists. He rushed over, panic in his eyes "the creatures…they escaped sir…they've killed two of our men sir and all seventy eight of them are roaming the building!" he replied coughing between breaths, all three Turks sighed "looks like we've got work to do". 


	7. The Mission pt1

Okay, someone asked if i could do shorter chapters so heres the first one :). But i have exams all this week and it's my bday on saturday so i wouldnt expect any updates till sunday soz. Anway enjoy

The alarm was still ringing through my ears as we patrolled through the Shinra building with a quickening pace. It would seem there had been more than two deaths like the scientist had said. We left the lab shortly after we had gathered as much information as possible "what do we do now?" I had asked, my voice trembling slightly "we hunt down these bastards and kill em'" Reno had ever so politely informed me but Shuriken had other idea's "look, if we kill these things then Hojo is gonna' be pissed"

"So what, do I have to politely ask it to get it's ass back in it's cage?" Reno asked icily as we worked our way through the never ending corridors. Shuriken sighed as she stepped ahead of Reno, holding her gun up in front of her as she walked "no" she whispered "I'm saying if we're quiet we can get out of the building without any trouble"

"And what then princess?_" _Reno asked slightly louder, also raising his gun

_"_Shhh! Then we get some tranquilisers and head back in" she finished, turning a corner and almost crashing into another door, she cursed and broke the panel off like I had done before "Teya, which wire was it?"

"Blue" I muttered, feeling more and more comfortable with this gun in my hand by the second, Reno turned his head towards me quickly "how did you know to do that anyway?" he frowned_,_ I shrugged

"Lucky guess_"_ I muttered but Reno didn't look satisfied with that answer, the door slid open and Shuriken moved quietly through

"Oh my gods!" she whispered, letting her gun drop to her side. We followed her through only to find blood everywhere "what the hell has Hojo been testing on?!" she asked, moving quietly throughout the room "whatever it is, he's got it pissed off" Rude answered quietly. The room was in ruins, it was just an ordinary office. Filled with overturned desks, paper everywhere, the lights had been cut out and like Shuriken had pointed out before, covered in blood "son of a bitch!" Reno cried out, checking to see if a man in the corner was alive "this guy's been torn to shreds!" he finished, grimacing as he made his back over to us "to be honest Shuriken, I really don't think putting them to sleep is a better solution than killing the god damn things!" he yelled

"Reno shut the hell up will you!" she bit back

"Hey, I'm second in command and I say we waste em'!"

"Oh Reno, don't be such a_-"_

"Will you guys shut up! Look, we're in a bit of an unusual situation here I know but this isn't the time to act unprofessional!" Rude commanded, forcing the two arguing Turks to shut their mouths "Teya what do you think we should do" the bald Turk asked, I looked at him ludicrously. This was my first actual mission, sort of. How could he expect me to know what to do? "Ugh…well_…"_

"Teya, we haven't got time to think deeply! Hurry up!" Reno ordered, I glared at his back and took a few more seconds to think

"Tseng should be outside considering we haven't seen him in the building right?"

"Yeah" Shuriken replied, bashing open another control panel for the door

"Well, if we try and get out of the building. Regroup with Tseng and then decide what we should do_"_

"And what if one of these things shows you it's teeth?" Reno growled, I frowned at him

"What other choice have you got?" I stated before walking over to help Shuriken with the wire

"I still don't think we should kill these things" she muttered to me

"Me neither but like Reno said, we can't exactly ask it to piss off can we?" I chuckled lightly, Shuriken grinned, snapping the wire in two "I know it's not the most genius answer but its better than you two fighting over it_"_

"No, it was a good call. Tseng will know what to do" she smiled. The door slid open nicely and she gestured for me to go in front "thanks" I said sarcastically, holding my gun up in front of me. The corridor split in two "left or right?"

" flinch anyway. The other Turks seemed completely unnerved which made me uneasy "so do you guys do stuff like this all the time?" I asked, Reno chuckled Left_" _Shuriken pointed out, I sighed and continued to walk. Every sound we heard made us flinch, well made me

"Pretty much"

"Has _this_ happened before?"

"Only once when I was here" Reno replied, walking up the front with me "but I was still in training. Back then it wasn't so difficult. There were no pass codes and the elevators were still powered by steam" he finished, glancing in every direction. No pass codes for the doors?

"Hey guys, I have a question"

"Another one?" Reno scoffed

"If the doors all have pass codes and they're all made of like thirty layers of steel…how the hell are the creatures getting around?". There was a pause

"That's a good point" Shuriken muttered, all of us then looked up and stared at the metal vent above us as it creaked slightly "I think we should move" Reno whispered slowly as the creaking turned into loud thumping and then into scratching "go!" he yelled. We all sprinted down the corridor hearing a thunderous crash behind us and I couldn't help but look back, a large dog like creature growled and hissed in my direction "wh- what the hell is _that_?!" I screeched, whatever the hell it was it was blocking our way out. My pace slowing as I stared at its winding tail that seemed to have a…pincer on the end of it! Reno stopped to look back at me and took my hand "no time to wonder! We've gotta' get out of here now c'mon!". He dragged me down the corridor, my hand tightening around his as I watched the creature run towards us "Reno!" I cried out and pulled back on his hand making him come to a halt, the creature was coming up on us fast but my body had told me to stop _"wait, this isn't an act of aggression"_

"Teya are you crazy!?" Reno yelled, trying to yank me forward

"_Ignore him. This is a Guard Hound. They travel in packs, it wont attack if you appear stronger. It's the only way to get out!" _

" I asked _How do I show I'm stronger?"_

"Taking a very large intake of breath, I stood there not moving one bit as this Guard hound stared at me with its yellow eyes, growling throughout. As it stepped slightly closer my footing failed slightly which made Reno flinch _"be still!" _. The Guard Hound let out a low hiss and bowed its head looking as if it was about to pounce _"step forward" __Stand your ground" . _

"Teya, don't move!" yelled Reno as I took a small step forward "Teya, what the hell are doing?! I said don't move!" but it was too late. The Guard Hound stepped foreword with me

""_Don't go any further_

"_So what? I just stand here!?"_ I screamed in my head

"_Don't panic you stupid girl! Raise your arms slightly" _

"the creature growled deeper and bowed it's head so it's chin was touching the floor _"Do __**not**__ move. Don't even breath"_, I hesitated but did as she said. The creature whined slightly before having a fearful look in it's eye _"throw your arms towards it" __Are you nuts? This thing is going to tear us to pieces!", _

"Ugh…" I mumbled before "shooing" it away, it jumped with a fright and a whine before spinning on it's back legs and leaping back up into the vent, it's claws scrapping along the metal as it went. I sighed and let myself relax as Reno came up behind me with a bewildered expression "how- why-?"

"Don't even ask" I mumbled, to be perfectly honest I wasn't even sure anymore, I really was a puppet. Reno frowned at me with dissatisfaction, obviously not pleased with my answer "I don't even know" I commented hopefully giving him a somewhat "better" answer.

Shuriken and Rude scampered up to us, out of breath slightly "what the hell just happened?"

"Teya just cleared the way for us" Reno spoke spitefully and full of venom, his mouth fixed into an awful straight line creating a glare that was forced in my direction. He shrugged past me hitting my shoulder as he did, I grunted as I stared after him. Obviously he was annoyed, but was he annoyed at me or the lack of answers he was getting? Everything I had told him was true…apart from the voices. I still didn't fully understand the whole Jenova thing but the haze in my head was clearing, slowly but surely.

We sprinted after Reno, barely able to keep up with him at points. The corridors were, up to this point, clear and not a creature in sight but instead of making me feel better, I felt more and more nervous. Where were they? Not a scratch, howl or growl in earshot, and these corridors echo a lot. The red haired Turk didn't bother to wait for us, he was still obviously pissed off which, thanks to Shuriken, didn't go unnoticed "Reno, what the hell's the matter with you? It's rare to see you in a mood like this" she had asked, he merely grunted. He never looked at me, not once.

* * *

After barging through what felt like hundreds of doors we finally came down to the lobby. Swarms of workers were stood outside looking expectantly through the clear, glass doors some of which I recognised. Hojo was stood near the front as well, a little more relaxed then anyone else but still had a curious look in his eyes. Rufus and his father were stood near the back, they didn't look that concerned, well Rufus's father didn't anyway. It would seem that the lack of my presence had left Rufus in a panicked state. I chuckled briefly at this, I was actually quite flattered at that image. Tseng was stood next to Rufus obviously trying to calm him down with not much luck so when we exited the building a sudden wave of relief and fear swarmed up. The frustrated Turk stormed up to us with slight concern "are you all alright?"

"Yeah, I think so" Shuriken replied, checking us all over with a quick glance, Tseng took a sharp look at Reno "what's happened?" he asked rapidly, Reno shook his head and shoved his hands in his pockets as he strolled over to Rufus with closed eyes. Tseng looked at us questionably but we merely shrugged, which was a lie for me. But still, I couldn't jump to conclusions could I? Tseng sighed "all of you go and get yourselves checked out by the medi-crew and then go home. I've got a group of SOILDER heading over here as we speak. This will be taken care of" he ordered, taking out his phone and jabbing the buttons forcefully. I grimaced as I watched Reno stand lazily next to Rufus, lighting a cigarette, I thought it was best not to approach him and yell at him for smoking, it would just piss him off even more. But suddenly, his blue eyes glanced up into mine with no emotion, he then burst out into a wide smirk and through the cigarette to the floor, treading on it with his foot. I grinned as we stared at each other from a distance for a moment before I was distracted by Rufus striding up to me "Teya!" he yelled, Reno's smirk disappeared from his face "Rufus" I smiled

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine thanks"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes" I laughed as Rufus gave me a quick check with his eyes but suddenly he was fixed on my eyes

"Didn't your eyes used to be gr-"

"Mako effect" I sighed, not really wanting to bring that topic again. Rufus continued to quiz me about the events in the Shinra building to which I answered fully, little did I realize that a rather hurt Turk had already left the scene.


	8. Authors Note

**Authors Note: **Hey everyone! I know you haven't heard from me in a while. Terribly sorry about that. Thanks for all the reviews people have given me, it's really given me a confidence boost so my love to all : D. There is, however, a reason as to why I haven't been updating. I'm in the middle of my GCSE exams and it's all very stressful at the moment so I haven't had time to write but whenever I get some free time I do write, promise! The next instalment is almost finished. Just a little more to do. I'm not going to give up on this story because I've been planning it for so long and it would be a waste of time for me to just stop. So don't panic if you think "Oh no, she's not going to finish this" because I will. It's going to take a long time because I'm turning this into a trilogy type thing but I'll get there J. So, until my next update, cya!


	9. The Mission Pt 2

"So, did they clear the Shinra building?" Dr Stewart asked after a few agonizing moments of silence, I cleared my throat with irritation. Remembering all of this was making me uneasy but if it has to be done… "Yes" I replied bluntly

"How?"

"I don't…remember…something to do with SOILDER…", it was hard to remember a lot of things, especially the little details like these

"Try" Dr Stewart asked calmly, he placed his fingers together and leant back in his chair

"**I cant**…!" I snapped, quickly stopping myself from cursing him to the heavens above. How did he expect me to remember every single little detail? I took a deep breath and stood from the leather chair, a few birds that flew past the large window suddenly caught my attention "I don't remember. Why is it so fucking important?"

"Teya…please. Just relax"

"Relax? **Relax?**" I yelled "how can you tell me to relax! I barely remember anything from the beginning! I've probably missed out ton's of details, people I met, things I did!"

"Do those things matter?

"What? Look, make up your mind, do you want to know every fucking detail or not?"

"I want to know the details that matter to you" he replied

"How they cleared the Shinra building doesn't matter to me!" I snapped back, frustration setting in but after a few moments of a staring contest Dr Stewart merely laughed "okay, fine. You got me" he grinned, I stared at him for another moment or two, my brow furrowing "what?", he leant forward, his grin still sat firmly on his lips

"I have to admit, your story is quite captivating" he admitted throwing his hands apart

"You…you want me to tell you because your…enjoying the story?"

"Yes". Enjoying my story? Enjoying my pain?

"You son of a bitch! Your enjoying this? Your actually enjoying listening to all that I went through?" , Dr Stewart's smirk faded quickly and before I could speak again he raised his hands in defence "Teya, your story is very detailed for a person with possible mental issues. Either you have spent months working it out for some practical joke…" he paused "or this really happened to you. I meant no offence Teya but it is very easy to get lost in these types of stories. Occupational hazard you may call it" his voice became softer and more relaxed as his hands dropped calmly to the wooden table top. I sighed and placed my fingers on my temples "do you believe me Doc?" I pondered aloud

"_Of course he doesn't! Don't you realise how insane your sounding?" _

"Well…" he began "as I said, your story is filled with detail and these people like Reno and Tami may well exist but this rip, this hole that you saw… I'm sorry Teya but that part sounded like…like Doctor Who gone extremely wrong" he smirked. I chuckled as I thought of the TARDIS sitting peacefully in the wastelands of Midgar "yeah, took me a while to get over it" I began, sitting down and resting my elbows on my knees and I leant foreword towards the wooden desk "I'm still not really…well why else would I be here eh?" I scoffed "I spent so long trying to run…now I've even lost that privilege". Dr Stewart stared at me for a moment as if I were an equation he was trying to work out "what were… what **are** you running from?"

"Guilt I suppose" I suggested, I didn't even know for sure but it felt like guilt.

"Why do you feel guilty?"

"Things I've said and done…I tried to blame it on the fact that I was a Turk…or even on the people I had punished but no. No it was all my fault. In the end I couldn't feel anything. Just…numb"

"You didn't even feel anything for Reno at the end?" he asked, raising an eyebrow but I merely laughed darkly "Ha! By the end of it Reno was-" I began but I was cut off by something lodging itself in my throat "Reno was?" he pushed but I swatted his question away with my hand as I could feel the tears building up behind my eyes. I hadn't cried about any of this since I had been back and I wasn't about to start. Dr Stewart cleared his throat hastily and I chuckled as the tears seemed to slip back inside me as they often did "I remember…" I whispered, looking at the red carpet beneath me

"Huh?" Dr Stewart asked dumbly

"I remember how they cleared the Shinra building. They didn't even use SOILDER in the end. They gassed the entire building" I said, a crazy look covering my face. My voice was high pitched and lazy "some of the creatures died" I giggled, Dr Stewart frowned at me. Suddenly I felt elated.

"Teya?" he cooed snapping me out of my obvious trance

"Huh?"

"I think you fazed off a bit there…do you want to take a break?" he offered, a look of concern in his eyes but I shook my head firmly "no, I'm sorry" I mumbled, unable to admit that ever since I had become a Turk, death seemed to…well "make me happy" to put it in a more suitable way, it was my guilty pleasure. Literally.

"_Death is a wonderful thing my dear" _she laughed making me feel more ashamed

"No it is not" I snapped back, causing Dr Stewart to frown at me

"What's not?" he asked, I stared at him in shock

"Ugh…nothing…it's just…nothing". He looked at me intently but let it pass

"So, they gassed the creatures?"

"Yeah, we got a couple day's off because of it but boredom soon followed. There wasn't a lot to do in the slums of Midgar…if you're a women that is. Your lucky if your married, then at least you have the children to look after or a house to clean. Thinking is the only real option you've got…and when you've got something else sharing your head…It'll drive you mad"

I kept having dreams…no nightmares. Every night. And every morning she would tell me how what I saw was what the planet deserved "why do they deserve it?" I would ask but she wouldn't tell me and in the end I gave up trying. One morning I woke with a sudden fright after one of these nightmares, It was still pitch black outside because of the plate but I quickly switched a bedside lamp on. My forehead was dripping with sweat and I wiped it away quickly with the back of my hand and let out a sigh "why are you showing me this stuff?" I asked with lack of energy

"_You deserve to see what you'll become don't you?" _she replied slowly

"That's almost kind of you" I mumbled coldly "I think you misunderstand humans. We're a lot stronger than you think we are"

"_Not from where I'm standing"_

"Well it's obvious you know…" I chuckled

"_Obvious what?"_

"That you still don't know me very well". I knew I wasn't the bravest or strongest person but when it came down to it I would fight for what's right or so I believed. Every morning we had discussions like that and I was sick of it, so sick I was tempted to put a bullet through my head. This morning would seem to be no different

"_Tell me something"_

"Hmm?" I replied, brushing my teeth vigorously with an old tooth brush and cheap toothpaste that tasted like mouldy cardboard _"What do you remember from home?"_, I thought for a moment

"Home?" I repeated questionably

"_Yes. Before you got to Midgar. Where do you come from?"_

"Where do I come from…?" I racked my brain for that piece of information but it seemed to slip beyond my grasp when suddenly it clicked "oh don't be stupid. You already know!"

"_Well?"_

"Icicle Inn of course" I smiled, she laughed. She laughed and laughed and laughed

"_Perfect" _I could hear the smile in her voice but I didn't know why

"Your acting odd…odder than usual anyway" I mused but she merely chuckled

"_You have no idea". _

I had not heard from Shinra in quite a while so I decided to go and check out the building to see how the decontamination of the building was going. The streets were busy as usual in Wall Market, people coming and going and making their way through the masses. I smiled at some of them whom I recognised but they merely shied away. Something didn't feel right though, as I was walking past some irregular folk who I hadn't seen before I felt a chill go down my spine and as my eyes glanced over at their suspicious exteriors I became more concerned but they didn't seem dangerous. There were about seven or eight of them all spread out around Wall Market. All of them were dressed in black trousers, black t-shirts and a long trench coat with a hat covering most of their faces. I watched one of them intently as a young woman who couldn't have been older than nineteen approached the man with fear. She mumbled something to him and passed over a handful of Gil, the man nodded slightly and dug through his pocket and handed something to her. I couldn't see what it was as they were too far away but whatever it was he was defiantly trying to keep it hidden. The woman shuddered as he handed the object to her and she walked away from him, still looking uncomfortable. What was going on there?

Should I ask her? _"Are you thick? She probably knows who you are! Follow her"_. The young woman walked out of Wall Market and into an alley leading to another part of sector 6 which was mainly made up of garbage and scrap pieces of metal, some of which had dried blood on. I kept my focus on the woman who looked around hesitantly, luckily there was a large scrap heap I could hide behind, before she retreated into a small house made up of broken pieces of wood and old, dented street signs _"go up to the window…carefully" _, crouching eagerly I waddled up to the window, the ground scraping beneath me much to my dissatisfaction. The inside of the house was very simple, a wooden floored, one roomed house with a single bed in the corner, a small stove in the other corner with a tiny fridge sat cosily next to it and a table taking up most of the rest of the room. She obviously lived here alone and her clothes suggested that she hadn't worked in a while. She had her back turned to the window I was looking through which made me very impatient as my curiosity was growing and, after what felt like an eternity, she walked away from the table leaving behind a small, glowing orb _"Materia…". _I leant away from the window, sitting on the rough terrain below me "But I thought you could only sell Materia from an authorized shop…it's one of Shinra's laws isn't it?" I whispered

"_Yes. So why buy it from a dealer?"_

"A dealer?"

"_A dealer often has lot's of "Cure" materia for sale usually but they normally sell it for double the price"_

"Why?"

"_A lot of people in the slums steal from shops and when they're caught, which is most of the time, they get barred from shops. Everyone is too scared to try again because of SOILDER. So a lot of people use dealers. So, why not make a profit out of it"_

"Why steal from the shops? Why not just pay instead of paying double from a dealer"

"_The difference between a dealer and a shop is that you can have an outstanding agreement. You can pay the dealer certain amounts of money every time they're in town and eventually pay off the debt. In shops, you have to pay the money up front."_

"Makes sense"

"_There's only one problem with dealers…"_

"What?"

"_The materia they sell is usually stolen"_

"So what do I do? Confront them?" I pondered, slowly pulling myself to my feet and shuffling off into the distance without being seen _"no. You tell Shinra"_

"So they can deal with them?"

"_Don't you think girl! If you tell them about it, you'll get recognition and eventually move up in that blasted company…and they'll probably assign you to them as well but you wont have a problem there. After all, you have me. So there's nothing to panic about" _

"What do you mean "assign" me to them?"

"_What do you think?". _Suddenly I felt a large lump in my throat as that statement sunk in

"Kill them…they'll make me kill them" I pondered aloud, my voice hesitant and almost none existent. She didn't answer, not even a chuckle came from her which was what I was initially expecting. Why not just throw them in prison? Why kill them? It wasn't as if they had murdered an entire city or something was it? It was just some materia! But she was right, they would make me do it. My first blood. I felt like I was about to be baptised _"If religion came into this, the Gods would have some explaining to do" _she laughed "So what do I do now? It's not as if I can tell Shinra now is it?"

"_One day you'll have to start thinking for yourself y'know?"_

"Shut up and tell me what I should do!" I said, my voice getting louder as the small shack became more distant. Jenova laughed once more _"well, well, well aren't we getting a little testy" _. I rolled my eyes at her comment, although she was right. I had been getting _very___frustrated _very_ easily as of late but I pinned that down to the boredom I was suffering due to lack of work. Just the thought of heading back to the Turks office gave me a thrill, it was surprising how power could make you feel giddy _"go home"_ she ordered _"you'll need your strength for what's to come" _she finished. I sighed hoarsely as I crawled my way back past the filthy streets of Wall Market which seemed to become more crowded each day. I looked around for the figures in black again but they seemed to have vanished and no one would dare look me in the eye.

Finally the day came when I could go back to work. After day's of boredom and angry fits with her (some of which were overheard by my landlord who now he gives me odd looks every time I seem him as a result) I could finally return to normality…sort of. As I was on the train to work that morning Elena came and sat next to me as soon as I sat down "good morning Teya" she beamed, I grunted in response making her glowing smile fade slightly. I wasn't in the mood to talk really, I didn't mean to be rude to her. Today was the day when I may finally get to go on an assignment and that was the only thing I wanted to be focused on. The train wailed as it came to a halt, people stood up hastily as the doors opened up with a mighty grunt. I sighed as the screech raced through my head, they really needed to oil those doors up. How I was going to approach Tseng with the problem was a different matter entirely, what would I say? And who should I tell? Tseng would be the obvious choice when I thought about it but maybe I was supposed to tell Reno who would then Tseng? _"You worry far too much. Just go in. Do it. And that's it" _she groaned, I growled quietly as I made my way toward the Shinra building with high hopes. Elena had disappeared somewhere off into the crowd of wandering secretaries, I hadn't had a chance to apologise _"why should you? She's not as important as you. You shouldn't concern yourself with someone beneath you". _She had been talking like that an awful lot lately, about how _I_ was better than everyone else because I was a Turk but it didn't work like that, did it?

The reception became slightly quieter as I entered the building. People stared in awe as I made my way up to the elevator and pushed the button in irritation. I felt like screaming at them "yes! I'm a Turk! Get the fuck over it!" but that would make them even more scared.

The elevator climbed slowly up the building, annoying music ringing through my ears as I came closer and closer to my floor. More and more people stared as they stepped in and out of the constant stopping elevator but it was easy enough to ignore until I came to my floor. As I stepped off I noticed my old chair was filled with a small, slim, young looking brunette with perky blue eyes. She wore a light pink jumper that was obviously a little _too_ tight and, from what I could see, a black and white skirt with tights. Most un-shockingly though, was that she had Reno's undivided attention. He leant lazily against the desk, hands practically covering hers and that ever so mesmerising smirk planted on his lips. The girl, who looked no older than me, blushed immensely and I rolled my eyes with disgust. After seeing enough suggestive looks and hearing the ever playful "oh, will you stop" line enough times I cleared my throat to make them aware of my presence. Reno spun around quickly, the look of surprise obvious on his face "Teya!" he called out, going slightly pale but I merely smirked

"Your getting sloppy Reno" I mused before walking past him and into the office, ignoring the new girl as I did.

Rude was the only one in the office when I walked in "where's Shuriken?" I asked without giving him a formal greeting. Rude shrugged roughly at me, peering at me through his dark shades "are you feeling alright?" he asked quietly, I cocked an eyebrow at him

"Yeah, why?" I replied, walking over to my desk and taking a seat. Rude shrugged once again and returned to scribbling something onto a piece of paper. It was a good ten minutes before either of us spoke again "they were quick to replace me" I commented dryly. Considering I had yet to be sent out on an assignment I had nothing to do but sign release forms, I still felt like a secretary. My training was practically over. The last few months had been a gruelling experience, after many trips to the medi-bay and emotional outbursts I had finally finished. In a shorter time than expected too. I was ready, but Tseng didn't seem to see that and it pissed me off. It was not as if I could say anything either, despite finishing the training and being employed in Shin-ra for near enough a year, I still knew nothing about the way things worked in the Turks. Rude grunted, bringing me out of my thoughts "Sophie's competent" he grimaced, I frowned, Sophie?. At that point, the flame headed Turk himself barged in "Teya, you didn't meet-"

"Sophie, yeah I know" I finished for him, he stared at me blankly before shutting the door behind him

"You seem to be in a foul mood" he commented, strutting up to my desk and leaning on it just as he had done to Sophie's. Over the past few months Reno's advances towards me seemed to have become less and less however, whenever he got the chance he would attempt to flatter me in any way possible "wanna' tell me what's up?" he whispered, I saw Rude peer over the rim of his shades as we spoke

"How about" I began, leaning towards him "you get the hell away from my desk and I tell you fuck all" I smiled slyly, Reno glared at me momentarily before his cocky attitude returned once again "pfft, women these days" he chuckled to himself whilst walking over to his own desk and propping his feet up on the wooden surface whilst leaning back in his green chair "and to think I was going to ask you out for a drink tonight" he snorted, I rolled my eyes

"Where's Tseng?" I asked to both of the two men. Both of them eyed me in return

"In his office, why?" Reno replied hesitantly, I stood from my desk with a hint of enthusiasm

"I have some news for him, that's all" and with that I walked out of that room and right into the other across the hall, obviously knocking before I entered "sir?" I spoke softly, the room was pitch black and I could barely see Tseng's dark, wooden desk by the large window at the back of the room. He was sat in his large, leather, red chair with his pen in hand, scribbling words on a sheet of paper. His hair combed back neatly as usual and his dark eyes looking nowhere but the white page on his desk "Teya" he replied quietly "sit" he ordered, still not setting his eyes upon me. Tseng could be very intimidating sometimes and his lack of eye contact was making me feel a little uncomfortable. As I sat down Tseng signed the paper at the bottom and set it to one side before staring straight at me as if he were waiting for me to begin "well?" he pushed, I sighed and tried to put it in to words

"I-well-you see sir-" I stuttured but I couldn't seem to string it together, Tseng remained static as I stumbled over my words "spit it out" he said simply after a few minutes of my sputtering, his eyes piercing like bullets. I stared at him for a moment, examining his sharp features. He really was a stereotypical boss. His suit was pristine like his hair and he gave out a powerful sense of order and discipline just by looking in your general direction "the other day sir, whilst walking through Wall Market…I saw these…men…" I began, Tseng leaned slightly closer

"Men?"

"They were all dressed in black but they were selling materia sir" I stated "is that something we need to be concerned about?", Tseng sighed and shut his eyes slightly

"Normally this wouldn't be something that the Turks would be affiliated with…but…"

"But?" I pushed after a moment of silence

"There has been a shortage in our stocks of materia as of late. There's no signs of a break in so…"

"It's someone from inside the company" I finished and Tseng nodded

"Most likely somebody from delivery but you never know. At first we thought maybe terrorists but that may be a little too extreme however this is something we should perhaps look into, just to be safe" he finished, leaning back in his chair. I nodded understandably "leave it with me" he continued "I shall report to the president and see what he says about it"

"Will he use the Turks sir?"

"That depends"

"On?" I questioned

"On whether it's somebody from the company whose stealing the materia" he sighed, picking up his pen from the desk and fiddling with it in his fingers. I frowned slightly, for a moment I actually hoped it was somebody from the company, at least then I would get something to do besides filling out paper work. I stood from the chair, nodding at him despite that he wasn't even looking at me and left in a slightly sour mood. I was expecting more, I wanted something to do! They had got me hyped up about this job for months and when I finally become usable they keep in the waiting area. If Tseng didn't give me the all clear soon, I was going to do something about it myself.


	10. The Mission Pt 3

Three weeks I waited. Three whole weeks of nothing went by before Tseng even looked in my direction. It took a hell of a lot of patience but eventually I heard the words I wanted to hear "we've found who it is" Tseng had said, straightening his tie

"Who?" I asked, leaning back in my chair. Reno, Rude and Shuriken had their gaze fixed on Tseng

"A man named Michael Lorton. He's just a man who works down in the storage facilities. Not very intelligent mind you. It never seemed to occur to him that we have security camera's everywhere…"

"So how come you hadn't caught him before I brought this lovely piece of info' to your desk?" I asked, frowning as I did. Tseng glared at me slightly "we weren't looking for anything then" he grumbled before setting his eyes on the other three "I want all of you to go into Wall Market. There's a warehouse down in the south end where he's been flogging this materia to these "dealers" that Teya mentioned" he finished. Reno smirked "and what do you want done with em'…_sir_". There was a pause, anticipation filled Reno's eyes "_dispose_ of them…quietly if you can. And any materia you find lying around you can return to the building too." he muttered

"Consider it done" Reno finished with an enthusiastic look spreading from ear to ear. Tseng nodded slightly before walking briskly out of the door behind him without another word "time to rock and roll" Reno commented excitedly, pulling his gun out from his jacket "well that's inconspicuous" I mumbled sarcastically wondering if he even cared about what he was about to do

"Please" Reno scoffed "you think _I_ care if I get seen?" he smirked wildly "and to be honest, I don't exactly look inconspicuous do I?" he finished, pointing to his hair. I looked at Shuriken who had stood from her desk "Reno, we don't just wanna' go in there gun's blazing. It's not very-" she began but, much to her dissatisfaction, Reno had already stormed out of the office "_move_ your ass Shuriken, don't _act_ like one" he yelled from the corridor, making me smirk. Shuriken glanced at me and rolled her eyes "is he always like this?" I asked, she nodded as she pulled out the lethal weapon from her drawer and placed her it in it's holster underneath her blue jacket. The curly haired women skipped lightly out of my sight as she chased after Reno with a quickening pace leaving me alone in the office. I chuckled slightly, I hadn't even realised Rude had gone. He was so quiet, especially for a man his size, you would have thought I would have seen him walk out. I sighed as I stared at the gun that I had voluntarily placed into my hands _"don't doubt yourself"_. It was hard not to. I had been wanting, no _needing_ to do this for what felt like an eternity and now I had been finally given the chance to prove myself except…I was scared _"fear is not an admirable trait to possess. And why should you fear anything when you have me" _she said as-a-matter-of-factly. She had a point, I had her. She would help me get through this. I gulped and slid the gun into it's holster with some ammunition _"just don't get yourself killed"_. And with that I chased after the rest of the group, wondering what the Gods had in store for me.

Wall Market was empty. The streets were deserted. All of the shops were closed, all the doors locked and windows shut tight. It was sort of creepy to see it so empty when I was used to the hustle and bustle that seemed to arise everyday. I looked at my fellow Turks, they all seemed so calm. Not at all bothered by the lack of people, they concentrated solely on the task at hand "right, so where did Tseng say this warehouse is?" Reno asked, gun pointed at the floor

"Down in the south end" Shuriken replied, looking around. We all shuffled silently towards the south end of the market, passing empty tents and the remnants of previous customers footsteps "so, how exactly are we going to do this?" I asked quietly, Reno gazed down an alley to his left with curious eyes but quickly returned to my question "two of us will sneak around the back, the other two will keep watch and stay out front. When they've realised we're there, they'll make a break for the exit but they won't get far…" Reno smirked, I gulped

"Reno, I told you I don't think we should just barge in…" Shuriken said slightly worried, Reno rolled his eyes "look, their just dealers, not fucking ninja's. This is gonna' be real easy. We go in, do our thing, grab any materia we see and then head to the nearest bar. Done." he finished roughly but Shuriken still didn't look convinced "I hate to remind you Reno, but you've been wrong before and Teya is still new, she doesn't have enough experience. What if you turn out to be wrong and she get's hurt, how are you gonna fee-"

"That's not gonn'a happen" he interrupted sharply, his gaze turning towards me "trust me". I looked away from him "so whose staying outside then?" I asked wanting to just get on with it, the warehouse we were heading to came into sight so our paces slowed. Shuriken, who was at the front of the group at this time, held up her hand as a signal for us to stop. She turned on her heel as we came to a halt and looked at each of us "Reno?" she questioned slightly frustrated due to Reno's lack of cooperation. The red haired Turk kept his eyes on the warehouse that was around 100 ft away from us, he sighed "Teya and I will go around the back, you and Rude stay out here" he said strongly but Rude grumbled

"What?" Reno asked, staring at the larger man. Rude shook his head and sighed

"I don't think that's a good idea" he stated simply, Reno frowned

"Why not?" he demanded, sounding like an irritated child. The large man stood there silently as Shuriken spoke for him "like I said before Reno, Teya is still new. Throwing her straight in the deep end isn't the wisest decision" she commented, being as quiet as possible, Reno scowled

"Fine. Teya and I will wait out the front, and you guy's go in from the back" but Shuriken and Rude raised their eyebrows at Reno "oh for fuck sake, what now?" Reno argued, Shuriken giggled slightly

"I think I should wait with Teya outside and you and Rude can go in from the back"

"Why?" Reno moaned, obviously pissed off

"You get too distracted" Rude commented, taking his gun out from his jacket and turning away "come on Reno" he finished before slowly walking towards the rear of the warehouse. Reno sulked as he followed the bigger man making me smirk "am I really that popular?" I asked sarcastically, Shuriken chuckled "come on, we'll wait just around the corner of the entrance, one on each side of the doors" she smiled before creeping towards the warehouse "Shuriken?" I said slowly

"Hm?" she replied, her eyes fixed on the doors of the shabby, worn down building

"Do you-I mean-do-…never mind" I stuttered, she wouldn't have answered me anyway. I guessed it wasn't really a suitable question to ask a Turk "now come on, what is it?" she asked, I could hear the smile in her voice so I plucked up the courage to ask "do you not think about…whether…killing people is right way to solve Shinra's problems?" I managed to get out, regretting asking as soon as I finished. Shuriken's pace slowed quickly and I was soon walking directly next to her, the warehouse doors coming closer and closer "I- ugh…" she started, her brow knitted together tightly

"Sorry, you don't have to answer if you don't want to" I said, slightly embarrassed

"No, no I've just never been asked that before" she smiled, looking at me with her motherly gesture. It was hard not to like Shuriken…really hard. She just had a friendly vibe about her, she reminded me of someone…I just couldn't quite place it…"well" she began, brining me out of my thoughts "I-" she was cut off from the sound of a gun shot "look's like their in|" she muttered, there was another gun shot. Me and Shuriken stood silent for a moment, watching the building intently as it went quiet. Shuriken ushered me foreword as we headed towards the doors, it was still quiet…eerily quiet. I leant up against one side of the double doors whilst Shuriken leant up against the other, her gun held up by her face. I sighed and slid my hand underneath my jacket and onto the handle of my gun that was sat in it's holster snugly. Suddenly more shots were heard, more than Reno and Rude could produce "shit!" Shuriken muttered, leaning over and peering through a gap in the doors "for fuck sake Reno!" she grumbled, moving around the corner and gesturing for me to do the same "ready?" she asked, gun held up in front of her "not really" I replied quietly in the same stance as her. Without warning Shuriken kicked the doors open and we ran in to find the warehouse in ruins. Numerous tables had been turned over, papers flying everywhere and bags of materia strewed around. My eyes scanned the room immediately for our two fellow Turks, I could hear Reno cussing but I couldn't see him anywhere as a thick layer of dust, dirt and smoke had built up due to the fight "Reno? Rude?" I called as Reno's voice seemed to become more and more distant, coughing. I could see shadows moving in the thick smoke and Shuriken urged me to put my jacket over my mouth and nose. Eventually, after carefully treading through the room, I located Rude sat behind an overturned table in the far corner of the room "they knew we were coming" he said, his voice still as calm as usual, I knelt down next to him "how can there be so much fog?" I asked, coughing again. Rude shrugged "someone must have let a smoke bomb off or something" he stood in a crouched position before firing a few times off into the distance "where's Reno?" I asked, crouching in the same position as Rude and firing a few bullets at nothing but fog "I don't know" he replied, reloading his weapon "he went after Lorton. They aren't regular dealers…they know how to defend themselves" he finished, sliding back down to the ground as a few shots were fired at us "which way did Reno go?" I asked, Shuriken crawled along to us and greeted Rude with a quick glance " "look, their just dealers, not fucking ninja's" he'd said. "This is gonna' be real easy" he said. Bullshit. There are at least ten guy's in here, not including Lorton, who are fully aware of how to use a fucking gun. We didn't come in here prepared! You know what this was don't you Rude? This was a fucking trap!" Shuriken said through gritted teeth "well there's not much we can do now is there!" I yelled over a few gun shots, all three of us falling onto our backsides as they came. I leant against the table with squinted eyes "the fog is too bad, I could take out these guy's if I could see" Rude commented

"_The fog, you have to get rid of the fog!"_. I glanced around and noticed a few windows near us but that alone wouldn't be enough to clear the haze but suddenly something hit me "the door" I mumbled "Shuriken, did you close the door?" I asked quickly

"No, why?" she asked, frowning. I sat up on my knee's and gazed at the now shut door. I sighed and sank back down to the floor "right" I began, loading my gun "I'm gonna' open those windows just in front of me now, then I'm gonna' make a break for the door and see if I can get it open. They've shut it again. It should help clear the fog" I stated, Rude and Shuriken looked at me doubtfully

"Ok, that sounds good but what about after you've opened the door and the fog's cleared…they'll see you and you'll have nothing to jump behind" Shuriken pointed out

"That's where you guy's come in" I pointed out with a weak smile

"Great" Rude mumbled sarcastically, I grinned slightly

"After that I'll go and see if I can find Reno whilst you guy's distract this lot, ok?" I finished, the two other Turks nodded and looked at me expectantly "good luck" Shuriken said to me and I smiled gratefully before crawling over to the windows that we were sat opposite. The locks were old and jammed but they opened easily and noisily after fiddling with some copper wire that had been wrapped around the mechanism, there were about five to open and each time I moved onto a different one I was getting more and more out into no mans land. With every window open, the fog became less and less which made it even more dangerous for me. I trusted Shuriken and Rude though, I could hear their gun's firing as each window creaked open. When the final window was opened all the fog in that area in the room had been cleared but the main body of it which was in the middle of the room was still there. I gulped slightly and crouched down _"don't panic. Just go"_, I slowly slithered along the floor of the run down building, trying to make as little noise as possible. I didn't exactly want to get seen until the door had been opened. The door was becoming clearer, I looked over my shoulder to see Shuriken watching me whilst Rude was keeping the lackeys at bay. Without a second thought I lunged for the door, grabbing the handle and ripping it open. The doors flew past me as a gust of wind came flowing in and there was a mighty crash and the wooden doors came in contact with the walls "fuck" I whispered before dropping to the floor as a frenzy of bullets flew around my head. The fog began to become less quicker than I expected and Rude took advantage by shooting two of the lackey's in their arms, incapacitating them. I crawled back to the table and sighed deeply "well done" Shuriken rushed

"It's not over yet" I replied, firing a shot at one of the lackey's who moved out of the way just in time

"That's where Reno went" Rude pointed out, gesturing towards a door a few meters away from me

"Right, see you in a minute" I smirked, crouching again and scurrying towards the door. Rude and Shuriken kept the lackey's busy once again as I opened the door and leaped in without much thought of what might be on the other side. Who knew how many lackey's this Lorton guy had! I leaped up as soon as I hit the floor and shut the pale door quickly. The room was quiet for a moment before I heard Reno's voice "Teya!" he called, I turned quickly to see Reno on the floor, his nose bleeding and obviously broken. He was clutching his arm in pain as it looked as if he'd been shot "Reno" I breathed as I ran up to him "what happened?|" I asked, looking at his injured arm, Reno winced

"Lorton isn't as dumb as we thought" he chuckled, I looked at his face with my eyebrow raised

"Why did you come after him alone?"

"What was I supposed to do? Sit on my ass and wait for no one to help? You guy's would have ended up in the same position as us and we would have been stuck" he stated, moving his arm uncomfortably

"You left Rude on his own though" I commentated

"He said he could handle it!" Reno argued back

"Where's Lorton now?" I sighed, still attending to his arm

"You called?" said a smooth voice, I turned, still crouched next to Reno, to see a short, fat man with greasy brown hair. He came toward me violently and before I could do anything he threw me across the room and held the handgun he had up to Reno's head "your new" he said, still looking at me. I groaned as I opened my eyes and saw what he was doing "no wonder your not as much trouble as your friend here" he said slyly, it was only then I noticed that he was bleeding from his head

"You Turks aren't as much trouble as people would think. Your reputation does not precede you" he finished in a smug tone, Reno growled slightly, catching his attention again "oh don't worry. I'll put you out of your misery soon enough…just give a minute to savour this moment. I can see why you do what you do now, gives you a sense of power doesn't it? People fear you and that makes you feel like Gods. Well it doesn't make you them! We cannot live in a totalitarian world! When will you Shin-ra pigs see that! Huh?" he yammered, Reno glared at the man and tried to reach for his gun in a failed attempt "I can't get rid of Shin-ra but I can make this city feel slightly safer, even if it _is_ only for a short amount of time" he finished, pulling back the hammer on his gun

"_Unless you wish to see Reno's brain fluids I suggest you do something!"_ she yelled, causing me to wake from the dizziness I had been previously been feeling "shit!" I muttered and in a flash I lifted the gun, before I even knew what I was doing I pulled the hammer back and my finger lingered on the trigger for a split second _"pull it!"_ she yelled, I glanced at Reno quickly. His face was scrunched up slightly and there was a tiny amount of fear in his eyes.

I pulled back the trigger.

I had never heard something so horrible in all my life. Lorton dropped to the floor in a mass of fat and blood. There was a long pause. I felt sick as I still sat, my arm raised but my gaze solely on his lifeless body. Reno turned to look at me with a shocked expression "to say you cut that close is a fucking understatement" but that soon faded away and was replaced with a huge grin after he looked at the body that lay before him "damn! Remind me not to piss _you_ off. That's a hell of a shot, right in the head!" he smirked. I didn't say anything, I just threw the gun half way across the room as my mouth began to drop and my eyes widen "what have I done?" I whispered, my heart beginning to race and my breaths becoming shorter. Everything seemed to stop, every noise seemed to become distant and all I could see was the blood running from his head and mouth. Suddenly I felt something grab my shoulder "Teya?" Shuriken asked quietly, I turned slowly and met her gaze, my mouth was still slightly open. I had no energy to even begin to talk but Shuriken slid her arm around me anyway "you did good. Reno would be dead if you hadn't…" she tried but it was useless. I glanced at Reno who was now being helped up by Rude. He grimaced as he was pulled up by his larger partner and groaned as he moved his shoulder around, he caught my gaze and looked at me sympathetically for a moment or two before strutting over to Shuriken and tapping her shoulder roughly "let's get outta' here yeah?" he commented, grabbing a bag of materia that was carelessly thrown on the floor. Rude followed him out the door, sparing me a glance and collecting any glowing orbs in sight. Shuriken stood up and helped me to my feet also before rubbing my shoulder and turning to leave. I stared after her, still traumatized by the event and followed her out like a dog. My mouth was dry and I could constantly hear the gun shot repeating itself in my head. I shuddered each time "let's head to the bar" Reno said, slightly chirpier

"Reno, you've been shot! You need medical attention!" Shuriken complained but Reno just shrugged

"Ah, I've gone longer without it with worse" he said smugly, Rude sighed. I stared at the floor, trying to get the image of the bullet piercing his skull out of my head "we've got to get this materia back to Tseng anyway" Shuriken corrected, she held a bag of the orbs out to me and I took it slowly, still staring at the floor. None of them said anything to me, they just collected up all of the materia they could find and we walked out of the building carrying an army's supply. How we managed to get all of it back is beyond me but we did it.

Back at Shin-ra, we all had to be checked out to make sure we weren't hurt. Obviously Reno had to have the bullet removed from his arm, of which I was nearly sick from watching as I had took a bump to the head from when Lorton had thrown me across the room so I had to be in the same room as him, but apart from that we were all fine. When we left the medi-bay Reno and the others approached me warily "hey, we're gonna' head down to the bar…you wanna' come?" he asked, he tilted his head to the side "look I know that this has…had a big effect on you but…a drink will help" he smirked slightly. I sighed, maybe Reno was right. Maybe a drink was what I needed to take this sickness away. Perhaps if I drank enough, it'll make me loath myself less. I nodded weakly and I shuffled behind them as we made our way through the now empty Shin-ra building. Tseng had been grateful for our work when we saw him but I didn't really feel like accepting praise for taking someone's life.

They dragged me to a small, shabby bar somewhere in Sector 5. It was cramped and stunk of smoke and alcohol. As soon as we got in the bartender greeted us with a big grin which surprised me considering everyone else shied away "Reno!" the long haired man yelled as we walked in, throwing his arms wide open "hey, what's up?" he said, throwing a causal hand in the air. The bartender picked up a glass and started wiping it dry with a cloth he held in his hand, but his gaze never left Reno, maybe he wasn't as calm as I initially thought "not much mate. What can I get ya?" he asked, placing the glass down and throwing the cloth over his shoulder, Reno looked at each of us "vodka, straight up" he smiled, the bartender raised his eyebrows "your starting off light" he chuckled, pouring the drinks into four shot glasses. Shuriken sighed and walked past me, strutting towards a table in the far back of the tiny room, her swagger becoming more and more exhausted with each step. I followed her mindlessly and sat on a splintered bar stool, my head pulsing around the area where I hit it. I rubbed the spot with my finger and winced "you ok?" Reno asked as he placed a drink in front of me, Rude walked up to us, appearing to have come out from the bathroom and sat opposite me. I nodded and gave him a weak smile whilst looking at the table. He put the tiny shot glass in front of me carefully and sighed quietly, I could feel him staring at me and my shoulders tensed slightly. My eyes moved slowly from the table and to the liquid in the clear glass "drink up" Reno said smoothly, I glanced up at him and he grabbed his glass confidently and drank every drop as if it were nothing. I grimaced at the thought of me doing that _"pfft, as if" _I thought

"_Drink it, it'll make you feel better"_

"_Since when have you ever cared about how I feel?"_ I asked angrily, wishing she would just leave me to my thoughts for once _"Just drink", _I scoffed, what other choice did I have? I felt like hell, my head was throbbing so much I thought it was about to explode and I had a never ending pain in my heart. It felt like everyone was staring at me in accusing ways, like they all knew what I had done, they made me feel guilty…it was like drowning. So I drank. I drank to drag myself from hell. I drank to keep my head under control and I drank to take the pain away, just for a little while. As for the stares…well, the more I drank, the less I could see them…literally.

"By the end of the night I was out for the count" I laughed hoarsely, Dr Stewart smiled slightly

"You drank so you'd forget?" he asked slowly, taking care not to hit a nerve

"Yeah" I responded painfully. I sighed and closed my eyes, raising my hands to my face and covering my eyes "how quickly did it take you to get over it?" he asked curiously, placing the end of his pen inside his mouth. I scoffed, putting my hands back in my lap very ungraciously "it's not something I got over quickly, I can tell you that" I replied almost patronisingly

"Are you over it now?" he pondered, there was a pause. I stared at him for a moment or two, trying to work out why he was so captivated by my story "I-" I began but I couldn't get it out, how would he understand? Dr Stewart sighed roughly and took a sip of the coffee he had sitting casually on his desk "What did the Turks talk about?"

"Huh?"

"The rest of the group, whilst you were at the bar, what did they talk about?" , he leant forward never taking his eyes off me "work…at the start…then Reno started talking about women" I smirked

"What did Shuriken and Rude make of that?"

"Rude stayed quiet, he was used to it but Shuriken was horrified by his vulgar comments about the passing women. I would have thought she would have been used to it too…obviously I was wrong" I chuckled. Dr Stewart smiled slightly and noted something down on a piece of paper in front of him causing another silence. I ran a hand through my hair, he would think I was crazy, it was obvious but that didn't matter in the end, all that mattered was that I got it out. And then, once I had, it was there, it was said, I could share the load a little…whether it would do any good or not. The doctor put down his pen and looked at me warmly once again "so, what happened after the bar? Did you just go back to the inn?", I nodded slowly "anything happen?" he asked, obviously wanting to wrap this session up quickly. I looked at him honestly "I cried".


	11. Vacation Pt 1

**A/N:** I'm sorry for the last chapter and how it was a bit rushed at the end but it was 1 o'clock in the morning and I really wanted to go to sleep. I may go back and re-write that little bit and any other bit's like that but only after I've finished this This is hopefully going to be a better chapter and one I'm definitely going to enjoy writing. Oh and I don't know if Reno's surname is Jones I just thought "what the hell" and threw it in there. Anyway, as always reviews are very well appreciated and enjoy!

The next time I saw Dr Stewart was two weeks after my first encounter with him. It had irritated me to no end waiting for him to call me, she tried to convince me not to go back and tell him anything else, she said that I had to live with it. My mother on the other hand, my _actual_ mother, gave me the push to go back, though she doesn't even know Jenova exists. In fact my mother knows nothing of what happened, I thought it was best if she knew nothing considering I knew she would go into a complete stage of panic, fear and eventually depression if she learnt that her only daughter and child was…"crazy". As for my father, well after I got back he's barely said a word. Apparently whilst I was missing he turned into a hermit. He wouldn't talk or see anybody. He lost so much weight that when I got back I barely recognised him, he was a mess. According to my mother, he would go out during the night looking for me, sometimes he would stay out all night without a wink of sleep. He doesn't know anything either, he didn't want to know anything unlike my mother. Of course he questioned me when I was finally conscious but as soon as I said I didn't want to talk about it, he backed off but he still isn't the same. I became like my dad in the next few weeks and then, after putting up with months of my anger outbursts and hearing me scream during the night, they decided to give therapy a try.

"Teya, please take a seat" Dr Stewart said, gesturing to the red leather couch in front of his desk. He wore the same gentle smile as he did when I first met him but it gave me no such comfort. He seemed calmer and was taking his time unlike last time "how are you feeling?" he asked, leaning back in his chair, his eyes fixed on me softly. I shrugged and fiddled with my fingers as I sat, lent over, on the harsh leather. I didn't dare look at him, I couldn't bare to think that he knew what I had done and to think that that incident was merely the beginning of the carnage I caused. Dr Stewart sighed and wriggled in his chair "have you spoken to your parents?" he continued, I nodded slightly. Oh yes I had spoken to my parents. My mother had given me an earful about how I should be honest and cooperative, whilst my father had given me a encouraging hug with a warm smile. Without any words being exchanged my father had given me the confidence to do this despite my "own" thoughts objections. " How long did you cry for?" he pondered looking back through his previous notes, I stared at him with my eyebrows furrowed

"What difference does that make?"

"Teya, please. Emotional stability is something I need to assess"

"How is-" I sighed "all night", Dr Stewart noted something down. I rolled my eyes and laughed slightly "believe me, I was far from "emotionally stable" Doc'"

"I can imagine" he said, slightly less kindly with a bored look on his face. "So, what happened next? How did Shin-ra greet you after that mission?"

"Well" I said bluntly "Rufus was…worried shall we say at first"

"Why would Rufus be worried?"

"I was…quiet…subdued from everyone for…a vast amount of time"

"Because you murdered someone", I scoffed and nodded at his words. The word "murder" seemed appropriate _now_ but back then I would have told him it was my job "how did the other Turks behave with you?"

"They were…helpful….well Shuriken was anyway. Tseng, Rude and Reno weren't exactly "comforting" material. They are men after all." I smirked, Dr Stewart grinned slightly but looked at me cautiously, taking notes as we went "Did they…she help in anyway?"

"A bit. They told me that I had saved Reno's life…that he would be dead if I hadn't did what I did. They justified my actions."

"Did they justify it for _you_?" he pondered, leaning forward slightly. I bit my bottom lip nervously and thought for a moment "at the time…yes"

"So…"

Months past very quickly. Everyday I was forgetting my morals that I had fought so hard to keep in the beginning, it was a pointless thing to even try. I went out into the field almost twice a week, not necessarily disposing of people, sometimes I had to help with important deliveries like some of Hojo's creatures for example but the most tedious job of all was being a bodyguard to the president. Tseng had found it somewhat amusing to give me that duty for numerous hours each week. I stood there, next to his desk for hours watching him sign papers. The height of excitement was when he interviewed someone and I would have to search them, although no one was stupid enough to try to bring anything remotely suspicious so that got pretty boring as well.

One morning, a dull, bleak morning, Tseng strolled into the office with a stack of papers under his large arm "Teya, can you file these please" he barked at me, I squinted at him curiously

"You do realise there is a receptionist out there right?" I asked quietly, Tseng glanced with a hint of venom at Reno who was amusing himself by rolling a pencil casually around his desk and I sighed "give them here then" I grumbled, gesturing for Tseng to set them down in front of me. I hadn't done a lot of paperwork in a while so it took me a minute to refresh myself with the usual routine "oh, and by the way" Tseng began, grabbing my attention once more "there's a certain file you'll need a password for to open it on the computer. It's an old jobs file but there's some missing data on the computer that needs to be filled in before it can go in the archives" he finished before handing me a slip of paper that had the code 2397-042-6963 written on it clearly. I nodded at him before opening the first file which happened to be that one Tseng had mentioned "Reno, I have another task for you. Come with me" he ordered, bringing Reno out of his previous engrossment. The red head groaned and slowly climbed out of his chair with an obvious effort. With a loud yawn, he followed Tseng lazily out of the door. I chuckled slightly before returning to the file that needed to be sorted "Right…" I said to no one in particular. Rude and Shuriken were both out on a duty somewhere and it had just been Reno and I in the office although I still wasn't in a talking mood "…certificate of death…Ivory Waltham…wait…Ivory…"

"_What was her name?"_

"_Ivory_"

It couldn't be. I looked at the photograph that came with the file, she certainly was a pretty woman. Long dark hair, huge green eyes, perfect round face…just like Reno had described…and she died around the same time Reno had been working at the Don's "oh my Gods" I whispered, reading the file. This was the Ivory Reno had been talking about, the girl he fell in love with.

_Name: Ivory Waltham_

_Age (at time of death):21 _

_Cause of Death: Bullet wound to the skull_

_Previous Criminal Record: Terrorism, murder, theft on numerous accounts._

Tseng had said that this had been a job which mean that she had been killed by the Turk, the file went on. How could have Reno possibly forgive the Turks? How could he join them afte- "wait…WHAT?" I blurted out, eyes widening

_Turk assigned: Jones, Reno_

But Reno had told me that…_ "my dear, he's a Turk. Of course he lied to you" _

"That son of a bitch! He lied to me…again!" I yelled out in frustration, was there anything Reno had told me that wasn't bullshit? Just as my fists began to clench and my shoulders tighten the door to the office swung open violently and the ever so cool Rude strolled in with a blank expression. I grumbled a low "hello" at him as best as I could without sounding as if I wanted to rip his head off with my bare hands, and with some difficulty too. Rude sat at his desk and started up his computer before acknowledging my presence, he peered at me silently over the rims of his dark shades before leaning back slightly in his chair "something bothering you?" he asked patiently as he watched me jab the keys on my keyboard with a great deal of force "I'm fine" I lied through gritted teeth, Rude let out a large sigh

"What is it?" he asked, setting his folder that he had in front of him aside. I stopped attacking the keyboard and swivelled on my chair quickly to face the large man "does the name Ivory Waltham mean anything to you?" I asked, squinting at him slightly, Rude coughed quietly and shuffled in his seat

"Why?""Just wondering" I responded, my mouth clenched into a tight line. Rude looked at his computer for a moment whilst I continued to stare at him, he finally glanced up at me again and let out another huge sigh "yes, I remember her"

"Reno killed her, yes?" I asked with a pissed off tone of voice

"Yeah" Rude replied, looking at me with slight confusion. I laughed sarcastically before turning back to my computer and punching the key's once again "hey, wait what?" Rude said, slightly louder than usual "did you know her?"

"No"

"Then why are yo-"

"Reno lied to me about her"

"What?" he demanded. I then proceeded to tell him everything Reno had told me many months prior despite promising him not to say anything to anyone else but hey, he's lied to me again so why the hell shouldn't I break a promise! Most of which Rude looked fairly familiar with much to my surprise. By the time I was finished Rude neither looked confused or understanding, in fact he chuckled slightly at the story "funny?" I snapped

"Reno didn't lie" he said, regaining his composure

"Huh?"

"He didn't lie to you. He merely left out pieces of information"

"Like?"

"He did feel something for her…and he was working at Corneo's but…"

"He was working for Shin-ra at the same time" I finished for him, venom in my voice. Rude nodded slightly and watched me patiently for a response "why didn't he…?"

"Would have honestly reacted calmly if he had told you?" he asked rhetorically. He was right, unfortunately. If Reno had told me the truth any normal human being would have freaked out and ran as far as they possibly could away from him, suddenly I realised the pain Reno must have gone through "he must have hated himself" I mumbled, Rude grumbled something that I couldn't quite make out but I could guess that he was agreeing with me "don't tell him you know", I glanced up at Rude "it took him long enough to get over it"

"I can't imagine Reno grieving" I stated, fiddling with my pen. Rude's head shot up and even though he was wearing his dark shades I could tell he was glaring at me "he was 16 years old, of course he grieved. He wasn't the man he is now"

"So not feeling anything is what it takes to be a man is it?" I seethed, Rude and I stared each other down for seconds in complete silence. The door suddenly burst open and in came a loud and beaming Shuriken in a frenzy of excitement "you guy's will never believe this!" she yelled, her smile growing bigger and bigger with every passing moment "what?" I asked, curiosity growing with her enthusiasm instead of anger and frustration towards Rude "we're going on vacation!" she finished, squealing with happiness "Seriously?" Rude asked, his voice slightly higher with sudden his mood change

"What, do you not get a lot of vacations or something?" I asked, my eyebrow raising with confusion

"No, no I don't mean a break" Shuriken announced, bouncing around the office and bobbing in front of my desk "I mean an actual vacation that the company has paid for!" she finished, I smiled slightly. I still couldn't seem to work out what the big deal was, my attempt to visually understand had obviously failed as Shuriken's smile faded slightly "Shin-ra never do this, ever! I mean, we get weeks off but we never _go_ anywhere!"

"Is the whole group going?" Rude asked, leaning back in his chair obviously relaxed with this "great" news "Yes!" Shuriken yelped, turning her back on me and her enthusiasm returning

"So, where we off to yo?" said a voice with an obvious smirk in it, I glanced at Reno who was leant up against the door frame, his arms crossed and the tip of his ponytail poking out from behind his waist. He looked at me and smiled his ever so cheeky grin before giving Shuriken his full attention "Costa Del Sol!" she beamed, Reno and Rude glanced at each other with the same look of boredom "oh Teya, we can go shopping and get a tan and-!" Shuriken mused dreamily before Reno cut her off with a loud snoring noise "boring" he smirked, Shuriken glared at him "Rude" the red head began "beaches dude, beaches mean one thing: babes" he grinned, Rude cleared his throat awkwardly in response. Shuriken sighed "_anyway_" she began, obviously annoyed with Reno's crude response "it's a chance to relax. We haven't had a _good_ break in almost a year and a half" she smiled, calming down. Reno automatically turned his attention towards me with a sly look "yeah, I mean you haven't stopped since you got here"

"I like my job" I replied with a confident smile, there was a pause and Reno looked ultimately baffled

"Well, that's a change of heart, especially after how you reacted with Lorton", another pause. Only this one was longer and more awkward "well, it's obvious you've changed a lot since your first kill Reno" I retorted without a hint of a smile, Reno frowned with a questioning look but I merely smiled at him smugly. Rude cleared his throat once more but slightly more noticeable this time, I looked at him with expectant eyes but he merely shook his head "so, when are we leaving?" I asked, hoping to change the topic "tomorrow!" Shuriken said happily "How are we getting there?" Reno asked, sounding utterly pissed

"Boat" the brown eyed girl replied solemnly which made me chuckle

"Do you not like boats Shuriken?"

"No, I get sea sick really easily" she laughed nervously. I smiled at her. A vacation, it wasn't something I really wanted or needed but everyone else seemed up for the idea, then again they had been doing this job over twice as long as I had. It was weird being a Turk, no matter how bruised and battered, tired and frustrated you get, you always seem to want to come back to work. It was sort of like a drug, you know you should stop because your damaging yourself but you just cant "hey Teya" Shuriken said "if these boy's can have holiday flings then so can we" she finished with lustful intent, I smirked at her

"That does sound appealing" I laughed, leaning back in my chair thinking of how much I would enjoy a bit of relaxation for once. It's true that I had been thrown into the traditional Turk ways, I was becoming more comfortable with the idea of sex with random strangers. I had given it a try in the first few months and found it embarrassing, but after a push from Shuriken I officially became a slut, however in the eyes of the Turks that was healthy. I had to bring my night time activities to a halt in recent weeks though due to work tiring me out so much that any energy I had left was solely used for making it back to the inn without collapsing. This in turn however had led to serious build up of stress and frustration which I seriously needed to vent. I peered up at Reno who was looking out of a window on the opposite side of the room, I regretted what I had said to him. It wasn't really fair of me to bring something like that up, he knew what I was talking about and it had obviously hurt him by the look in his eyes. I sighed and pushed the paper work I had in front of me into the top drawer in my desk "I think there's only one problem with this vacation" Shuriken said sitting at her desk

"What?" Reno asked, still staring out the window

"Tseng's going" she grumbled

"What? Are you kidding me?" Reno exclaimed, Rude rolled his eyes

"Nope" Shuriken replied with a fed up look on her face

"What's wrong with Tseng going?" I asked, generally confused

"Have you met Tseng?" Rude said in monotone voice, Shuriken leant foreword in her chair

"We'll all have to sit through hours of business talk at a fancy restaurant where everyone looks down on you" she said dryly

"And this restaurant will be one of these places where they over exaggerate everything on the menu to the point where you have no idea what it is!" Reno explained

"And when you have no idea what anything is, Tseng will look down at you as if to say "you are not even close to my status"" she said putting on her best posh voice, Reno laughed but suddenly looked horrified "oh dear Gods. You don't think he'll make us wear…_fancy_ stuff, do you?" he stuttered, gulping at the thought. I chuckled and thought about Reno in a tux "oh come on it can't be that bad" I said sweetly "you haven't been through it yet" Shuriken replied desperately

"Well, Tseng or no Tseng, it's a vacation so I'm going to make the best of it" I smiled, Shuriken grinned at me "yeah, as long as we get some sun, I'm easy"

"Girls, bars and bikini's. Only reason to even be there" Reno stated smugly whilst Rude merely shrugged "so what time do we have to leave?" I asked

"We have to be here in the office at around 4:00 AM but we'll leave at around 4:30, then we'll have to drive to Junon to catch the boat across to Costa Del Sol"

"4 AM! Are they out of their fucking minds!" Reno yelled "I'm still out on the town at 4 AM let alone at pissing work!"

"Reno, please watch your language" a sturdy voice commented, Tseng who was looking slightly less empowering today was stood behind the red head "sorry" the fiery Turks mumbled before retreating to his desk looking like a sulking child "I see you've all been made aware of our upcoming trip" Tseng commented to which we all nodded "and have you been giving instructions as to where and when to meet?", again we nodded

"It's a bit short notice though don't you think sir?" I asked warily, Tseng smirked slightly

"You are lucky to even have this trip Miss Barlow, don't complain" he said boldly "now, don't forget to pack your tux's boys and ladies, your best dresses. There's a lovely restaurant I'd like to take you to when we get there" he smirked, obviously happy at the thought of eating expensively. Tseng turned on his heel and walked briskly out of the office leaving the rest of the Turks looking at me with grim smiles.


	12. Vacation Pt 2

**A/N:**** Please Read! **Hey, I'd like to say cheers for all the reviews and watches etc, it really makes my day to read your thoughts on this story. This segment is written in a weird way. It's focusing on what's going on inside Teya's head more than anything, forgive me if you don't like it or if you are reading it and suddenly think "what the hell?". I'm not used to writing the whole "madness" thing so sorry if I mess it up. Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

Packing was an interesting experience. The fact that I didn't even have a suitcase was an obvious problem from the beginning however, according to Shuriken Costa Del Sol was an extremely hot place so I would need beach wear which I also didn't have. As a result I had spent quite of large portion of the evening walking around the slums looking for things to take. Why I didn't bring any of these things with me from Icicle Inn was a mystery _"you lost your luggage, remember?" _

"How do you know that and I don't?" I asked, stuffing some clothes into a brand new suitcase. It would seem that suitcases weren't really the most popular thing on the market in the Slums so I had to travel up to the plate once again to buy a brand new, and very expensive might I add, suitcase _"I'm in your head, I know everything that has happened to you" _

"That doesn't answer my question and kind of creeps me out" I smirked

"_Hmm" _she replied, I frowned as I zipped up the large case that lay in the middle of my bed

"Your awfully quiet lately" I mused, she didn't reply "want to tell me why?" I asked, collapsing on the bed with a sigh

_"You've certainly grown and in a short amount of time too"_

"I _am_ a Turk you know"

"_Yes. Indeed you are but that doesn't make you invincible"._ There was a pause and I suddenly found myself thinking about the dreams that I had been having recently. They were so violent, always people dying, everything always burning and there is always one man the middle of it all. In the middle of all the burning flesh and blood. I felt sick at the thought… The man with the long silver hair _"Sephiroth" _she cooed

"Who is he?" I asked, closing my eyes slowly in order to listen to her better

"_My son"_

"Your son?" I asked, a hint of sarcasm in my voice

"_Yes"_. Somehow I found it difficult to believe that Jenova had a son considering what…she…_was,_ but he is a recurring feature in the dreams, he must have _some_ form of connection with her

"Where is he?"

"_Dead" _she replied bluntly obviously ignoring my comment. I opened my eyes slowly and digested that piece of information. Dead? That man who seemed to radiate in power, dead?

"Why am I having dreams of him?" I pondered, realising that Reno had already told me of his death a few months prior and I didn't feel comfortable talking about it for some unknown reason, it just made me shudder to think of him as dead _"I want you to see him so when he returns…you can join the reunion"_

"That's impossible…isn't it?" I laughed hesitantly, sitting up as I did. Silence. I felt a cold wind surround me and I shuddered as she said very warmly

_"The worst things in the world are the only things that __**are**__ possible"_. I gulped and put a hand on my now sweating forehead, she seemed to have such a powerful venom in her voice when she spoke despite speaking so…"nicely". I stood and shuffled my way over to the bathroom mirror only to find a shattered image of what I used to be. My hair had lost it's tint of red and it no longer shone when the bleak sun shined it's empty light, my eyes seemed to become emptier by the day. Despite the fact that they were full of vibrant colour they seemed to age but gain no wisdom. Large purple bags had formed under my eyes from the lack of energy and sleep. Working for the Turks was very tiring, in the middle of the night you could be called in and sometimes it was to do the most strenuous work you could imagine. My face was pale and full of imperfections, I hated to look in the mirror. And yet, at the same time, my image was perfect. It was the image of a Turk. Full of physical, emotional and mental scars which were on show every moment of every day. Every part of my being ached and my mind was the worst. I tried so hard to block out the awful things I had done and if it was impossible to forget then I would just laugh and pretend that I felt okay about it. That was in beginning. Now I feel no sorrow, no guilt and no pity for those people I had killed. They had deserved it nonetheless. I felt so numb and so uncaring for anything, including myself. I was the perfect Turk. Ready to throw myself into any situation no matter how dangerous or frightening and die for the cause. Shin-ra's cause. I smirked into the mirror image and laughed quietly _"Beautiful"_

"I know" I replied, lifting my hand to touch the mirror respectively. My smirk faded as I brushed my hand along the image in the mirror.

Suddenly it changed.

Suddenly I hated it.

My face changed horrifically, I became paler, almost becoming as white as a ghost, my eyes changed…shape? They were practically slits! And my skin began to literally crack, it was morphing into something new, blood pouring from the newly formed deep trenches embedded in my face. But this wasn't my blood, this was _their_ blood. This was Lorton's, this was the group of rebels that I cleared out, this was the young men and women who refused to join SOILDER. It was all their's. My eyes widened at the horrific sight "no" I breathed "that's not me", but the image wouldn't go away **"that's not me!"** I yelled before putting my fist straight through the mirror. I stood there, my hand pouring blood into the sink below, unable to move, unable to breath normally and unable to think "what's happening to me?" I whispered slowly as I removed my hand from the shattered mirror, remnants of it piercing my skin. My legs suddenly gave way and I fell to the floor, my breathing sped up as did my heart beat. As tears began to fall on my cheeks, I cradled myself on the floor, rocking back and forth "why are you doing this?" I demanded in between sobs "I've done everything you've asked of me-**everything**!"

"_You should get some sleep" _she ordered, my tears coming to a sudden halt at her command _`"you have a long day tomorrow" _she whispered. I stood up and picked up a pair of tweezers and a wet cloth that laid strewn next to the sink, I obviously couldn't leave my hand in a massacred state. I began picking out the bloodstained shards, wincing each time and cleaning the cuts that were left behind. When I was finished I walked back into the bathroom and cleaned off the cloth _"you have done everything I've asked…"_ I sighed and splashed some cold water over my face _"…but it's not enough"_. I didn't know what she meant but it didn't matter, I was far to tired to think about I laid down on the bed after an excruciatingly painful walk from the bathroom I could think of only one thing to say "no more dreams" I pleaded as I laid on my side "I'd rather not be able to dream than to have to see another one of those nightmares" I whispered, my voice becoming less and less as sleep shrouded me _"They are not nightmares my dear. They are premonitions"._

* * *

I yawned violently and rubbed my eyes with tired fists "didn't get much sleep?" the red head said, looking equally as tired "no" I mumbled, staring and the floor. Tseng, Rude and Shuriken had yet to arrive, the Shin-ra building was completely empty apart from myself and Reno "I don't get why we have to be here so early" he moaned

"So we don't miss the boat" I replied, holding back the urge to yawn again "Junon is a long way away y'know" I commented with a smirk

"Yeah, yeah, yeah" Reno mumbled with a wave of his hand. He had only brought one large bag which looked as if it had nothing in it. It folded slightly in the middle as he had it laying on top of his feet. There was an eerie silence and I felt the need to apologise for what I had said yesterday but I couldn't quite bring myself to do it "what you said yesterday" Reno began, as if reading my mind "what did you mean by that?"

"What did I say yesterday again?" I asked, acting oblivious

"About me…"changing" since my first kill" he finished with venom in his voice. I sighed, I should have known he'd bring it up I just didn't consider how soon he would ask "Reno I-…I found out about-…about Ivory" I said slowly without looking at him, I still remembered the way Reno had looked the last time her name had been said, it had pained me for quite a while. Reno was silent again but for a little too long this time so I took a quick glance in his direction to find his eyes fixed on the floor, mouth slightly open and eyelids half shut. He shoved his hands in his pockets, his shoulders tensing as he did "I…I-…I can't…" he stuttered "how did you-?" he asked, looking at me with confusion in his grieving eyes "Tseng, he gave me a file and she…" I muttered, not really wanting to go into detail. The red head was silent again, he looked as if he was in deep thought about the current situation "I'm sorr-"

"Don't go there" he said sharply, looking me with what could only be described as hate. I stood up straight and gave him a questioning look "what the hell? Reno I was just saying that I'm so-"

"I said **don't** go there!" he responded harshly, my questioning look turning into a glare quickly "I don't need your sympathy"

"I was just trying to-" but I was cut off by him lightining a cigarette and blowing the smoke in my general direction. I coughed and waved my hand in front of my face "do you have to-"

"I'm not your dad" he stated solemnly, I stared at him with confusion for a moment, dad?

"Huh?" I responded dumbly, Reno glanced at me from the corner of his eye "what…? Dad?". What was he talking about, I never told him about my dad, did I? Reno frowned at me suspiciously before taking another drag of his cigarette "yeah, you said your dad smokes…and that you hated it" he explain icily

"I don't…remember" I winced, placing my hand on my forehead, what was he talking about? I dug back through my mind but I couldn't seem to find what he was saying, he must be making it up, he _must_ be. Reno looked at me in confusion for a moment before it turned into anger "Teya I am so sick of this shit" he spat, glaring at me as I tried to think

"Huh? What are talking about?" I asked angrily, a sudden jolt of pain going through my head as I tried to remember "What the hell is wrong with you lately anyway?" he demanded violently "one minute your all happy clappy, the next minute your moody as fuck"

"I…I-", my head felt like it was about to explode. It was overflowing with useless memories that I was beginning to become less and less familiar with "And you called me a fucking liar when your obviously no better yourself" he finished, throwing his newly lit cigarette to the floor with force "Reno I-argh!" I gowled as another shot of pain hit me

"_He's lying again"_

"Don't lie Reno"

"What? I'm not lying!" the red head squealed, there was so much blood pumping around my veins…

"_Your not a fool"_

"I'm not a fool" I repeated, trying to hold back the urge to cry out from the tidle waves of pain. Reno suddenly started to stare at me in disbelief, his mouth dropping "Teya…you…your…". Why is he staring at me like that? Why won't he stop? Stop! "Stop staring at me!" I demanded, suddenly feeling out of breath "but Teya, your face…!" he yelled, looking more shocked and hypnotized by the second. I had never felt so angry before, I tried so hard to stop but I just couldn't "stop looking at me!" I begged, covering my face with my hands but he wouldn't stop looking. He could see the cracks! The blood was everywhere, I couldn't stop it, if only he would stop looking! Why wont he listen to me? **"Stop!"** Before I even knew what was happening, I had already put the bullet through his head.

* * *

"Huh?" I gasped, throwing myself foreward suddenly only to be stopped from falling on my face by some force wrapped tightly around my stomach "Woah, woah Teya" said a calming voice. I looked to my left to find Shuriken sat next to me with a concerned look on her face "what happened?" I shrieked, my voice reaching different pitches with every syllable. I couldn't have killed Reno, the very thought choked me up "hey, calm down, it's okay. You fell asleep…you have a nightmare or something?" she asked. It was only then I realised that I was sat in a moving vehicle, my seatbelt being the force that had stopped me from falling off my seat when I awoke "I was-" I began, digesting the information with every breath "oh thank Gods. Where's Reno?" I mumbled to her, she scoffed

"I'm surprised he didn't wake you up!" she laughed, pointing to the red head Turk who was happily snoring away in the passenger seat at the front of the car. I sighed with relief and let my head rest against the window "you ok?" Shuriken asked as I closed my eyes calmly, I nodded slightly. That was a lie, I was far from ok _"I thought I said no more dreams" _I thought angrily but she merely laughed

"_If I remember correctly, it was Sephirpth you did not want to see"_

"_Please…"_ I began, feeling like a prisoner in my own mind _"I don't want to hurt him…or…any of them" _

"_Your more than happy to hurt civilians though…" _she smiled, I let out a coarse cough before opening my eyes just enough to see the flame headed man, still sleeping. As I stared at him I began to wonder what life would be like without him. It was difficult to see. Reno brought…humour to the job, he made it less dark. Despite the fact that he was my boss, he didn't act like one. Why would she make me dream that? _"I didn't" _

"_Hmph, yeah right"_

"_I did not make you dream that, I swear" _

"_Then why would I…?"_

"_An unfulfilled desire perhaps" _she mused, I bit my bottom lip cautiously

"_A desire to kill Reno?" _I contemplated as I stared at him. He shuffled in his sleep, drool creeping ever so carefully to the edge of his lip and his snoring engulfing the entire vehicle. I smirked at the sight but I couldn't seem to shake the image of him with that hole in his head _"stop it" _I begged, lifting my head off of the window but my eyes never leaving Reno _"I'm not doing it"_ she laughed, I shuddered at the sound "you cold?" Rude asked, glancing at Shuriken with questioning eyes. I finally took my eyes away from the sleeping Turk to gaze at the bald man who was sat on the seat behind me, he no longer wore hin sunglasses and looked as if he had been sleeping himself "no" I mumbled "how long have we been driving?" I asked, eager to change the subject

"4 hours" Rude responded

"Have I been asleep all that time?"

"No" Shuriken said worridly "you've been asleep for about half the trip"

"I have?", how did I suddenly lose 2 hours? "I have" I repeated more confidently

"Teya, you sure your ok" Shuriken checked. I gave her a tiny smile, if you could even call it a smile, and returned to looking out the window. I had been out of Midgar quite a few times and Junon has been a frequent destination for me although I detested it. It was far to military for me but if it was what Shin-ra wanted then I had no complaints. It was merely grassland that we were passing through, it was so vibrant with colour unlike Midgar whose bleakness never seemed to fade even when you were stood on the plate. The sun shone brightly as we drove past an extremely sunny part of land, I squinted as the sunlight hit my eyes. It wasn't a familiar sight but it wasn't something I missed either…not that there was much sunlight around Icicle Inn anyway. Suddenly, the car drove over a rocky part of land, which caused everyone to suddenly come out of their daydreaming state…or their sleeping states. Reno was thrown out of his seat with frightful force and his head instantly connected with the roof of the car "**OUCH! Sonofabitch!"** he yelled with sudden alertness, Shuriken broke out into a fit of laughter whilst Tseng and Rude stifled their chuckles. I smirked at the childish red head who was now nursing his injured skull, he rubbed his head with a sour face "that's why you wear seatbelts Reno" Tseng smirked, Reno grimaced and pouted slightly causing more laughter to erupt from Shuriken "how far away are we from Junon?" Reno asked grumpily

"About 30 minutes away sir" the driver replied, the smile on his face obvious in his voice. Reno sighed and turned around in his chair to face me, I smirked at him to which he responded with a glare "you ok?" he asked, suddenly looking concerned "you look a little…shook up" he finished

"I'm fine" I lied, giving him a weak smile. Reno stared at me with curious eyes, and for a little too long "stop it" I mumbled

"Stop what?" he asked

"Staring" I finished bluntly, turning away from him. Reno looked disheartened at my words and turned back to face the dashboard. I couldn't bare to have him look at me, for the first time in a long time I felt…frightened. I was scared that I would hurt him if he went to far with something "hey Teya, what happened to your hand?"Shuriken asked, gazing at my scared flesh

"Huh? Oh, I…ugh…fell"

"Fell?" she asked with a disbelieving tone "onto what? A pair of really pissed off scissors?"

"No" I chuckled "I tripped and ugh- my hand it went through my room's window" I lied, Reno scoffed

"Your room?" he laughed, still looking out of the windscreen "you mean your still living at that crappy inn I took you to when we first met?"

"Yeah" I sighed, smiling slightly

"Rufus won't be happy when he hear's that" Shuriken chortled

"Huh?" I grunted but Shuriken merely gave me a knowing look

"Yes. It would seem your relationship with the vice president has unfortunately not gone unnoticed to us" Tseng joined in, folding his arms strongly. I rolled my eyes in order to dismiss the topic however Shuriken seemed to be far too interested "it's sort of obvious that he's interested" she giggled "and Rufus isn't a bad looking guy. He is the vice president after all. Seriously though, would you ever consider getting together with him? If he asked of course". I glanced at Reno whose shoulders tensed as Shuriken spoke, he turned his head slightly towards us "first of all" I began "no, I wouldn't ever consider it. Secondly, Rufus is my boss and it would be weird, and thirdly it's none of your buissness" , Shuriken raised both her eyebrows at me "there is nothing and there never will be anything going on between me and Rufus. So leave it" I finished confidently. I saw Reno smirk slightly in one of the cars mirrors "hey I was just-" Shuriken tried

"She said leave it" Reno said strictly, I smiled sightly at the back of his head. Shuriken looked very confused but kept quiet for the rest of the trip "we're about to turn into Junon port" the driver reported to Reno, the red head yawned in response "finally!" he yelled, stetching his arms above his head. I glanced out my window again to see a large ship in the dock, it looked like a naval ship. I siged "keeping up with military tradition I see" I mumbled to no one in particular, I heard a suprising chuckle come from Tseng "indeed Miss Barlow". The car pulled up just outside the entrance to the dock, the driver got out and opened the door for me in a very gentlemanly manner "thanks" I mumbled before retreating to the trunk of the car and pulling my suitcase out "2 more hours and we'll be in the sun and sand" Shuriken chimed, I smiled slightly at her and stared at the large, iron coloured boat "nervous?" asked Reno who had slung his bag over his shoulder lazily "no, why would I be nervous?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow "You look…scared" he said slowly, I shook my head

"I haven't been on a boat before…that's all" I replied, eyes fixed on the ship

"You haven't?" Shuriken joined in, leaning on her suitcase

"No". Tseng and Rude suddenly appeared next to Shuriken carrying their bags

"The boat won't wait people, hurry" Tseng ordered sternly. Shuriken and Rude scurried after the black haired Turk as they boarded the boat, showing the two men at the entrance their I.D's which allowed them to get through "I have a bad feeling about this" I said shakily

"What? About the boat?" Reno pondered with a smirk "It's gonna' be fine. This is a Shin-ra boat, it's very safe"

"No, not the boat. This…vacation. I can't shake the feeling that something bad is gonna' happen …" I said solemly, Reno sighed and placed a hand on my shoulder "Teya, it's just a vacation. No work, no stress, all play. You've been working none stop since you signed up…you deserve a break. So stop worrying, not every part of a Turks life is…"sabotaged"" he smiled "we'll go and have a kick ass time, yeah?"

"Yeah" I laughed. Reno removed his hand from my shoulder and ran a hand through his hair

"Ugh…want me to take that for you?" he asked, gesturing towards my suitcase. I raised an eyebrow at him "well, well, well aren't't you the gentleman…" I said sarcastically, grabbing the handle on my suitcase and pulling it along myself "what's that all about?" Reno bit his bottom lip innocently for a moment "Tseng told me to ask". I stared at his innocent face for a moment, he looked very uncomfortable which was an unusual thing for Reno but I couldn't help but laugh at the sight. Soon enough both Reno and I were walking towards the boat laughing beyond our control.


	13. Vacation Pt 3

A/N:** Sorry it's taken me so long to update. I'm back at school and it's a nightmare to find time to write. Again with the whole "crazy" thing this chapter. Next few chapters will be better I promise. Anyway, reviews are loved! Enjoy! **

"**Ugh, I feel so ill" moaned Shuriken, who was currently leaning over the side of the boat looking as if she was about to throw up "you really don't **like boats, do you?" I chuckled 

"This isn't funny Teya" she growled, I lifted some of her hair out of her face and rested it on her back 

"Aw come on, if it were me you'd be laughing" I smiled, punching her shoulder lightly as she stood up straight almost green in the face "ugh, I need a drink…a strong one"

"I think water is the best thing for you at the moment" I smirked, holding her back from the bar. As soon as the boat had set sail Shuriken had felt ill, so I had taken her up to the deck so she could get some air but my attempt to make her feel a little better ended up with her being sick over the side "at least the weather's good eh?" she mused, leaning against the handrail. I nodded and looked up at the clear sky, there wasn't a stormy cloud in sight and the breeze was just right "where's everyone else?" she asked, attempting to stand up straight with what was left of her dignity "I don't know" I replied honestly, the last time I saw the rest of the group they were in the bar which was expected of course. Before Shuriken and I had left they were discussing, or should I say Reno was discussing, models whilst Tseng and Rude were typically trying to change the subject but due to Reno's social skills within conversation, they had no chance. Shuriken wiped her mouth and smiled at me reassuringly "you sure your ok?" I asked 

"Yeah…" she replied, looking unsure 

"Why don't you go back to the cabin and get some sleep, we've still got a long way to go before we get to Costa Del Sol"

"You think some sleep will help?"

"Yeah…water too" I ordered, folding my arms with a smirk. Shuriken ran a hand through her hair and nodded lazily "okay" she mumbled 

"I'll come and wake you up 10 minutes before we get to the dock" I offered, she nodded again and smiled weakly at me "thanks Teya" she finished before shuffling off back into the ship. I sighed and looked out over the deck. Surprisingly there weren't many people on the boat, I was expecting a hoard of tourists to be tagging along with us but it would seem that Wutai was becoming a more desirable holiday destination this time of year. Summer was just beginning to fade and autumn crept slowly into the world with it's blissful winds however, the sun seemed to shine all year round in Costa Del Sol apparently. I had to admit, I was looking foreword to a week in the sun but I still couldn't get rid of that horrible feeling I had before we got on the boat. It was just a hunch, but I felt something was going to go wrong. Since when did the Gods make it easy for us? Since when was a Turks life smooth sailing? I chuckled at my own pun as I turned to look at the sea, taking in a large breath of fresh sea-salt air. The waves gently lapped at the sides of the monstrous iron boat as it slid noisily through the unsuspecting waters. I never really cared much about the ocean or how "beautiful" it was supposed to be but something about the vast jumble of blue and green made the horizon look like a more desirable feature in life. I sighed peacefully as the horrible feeling I had felt washed away with the sea, my shoulders untensed as I leant on the railing and I suddenly felt relaxed _"You need a drink"_

"having fun?" said a loud voice

"Well, I _was_ before…"

"Ah, don't finish that sentence…" said the lazy red head, strutting over to copy my position on the rail "it'll get you into a world o' trouble" he grinned. I glanced at him with a smirk. The waves began to get louder all of a sudden and I stared down at them "tide must be coming in" Reno commented, cupping his hands together out over the rail. There was a pause, usually I would feel slightly uncomfortable when there was a long pause between Reno and I considering his previous intentions but strangely I felt completely at ease "are you feeling better?" he asked finally, I squinted slightly as the sun came directly into my line of vision "I don't remember feeling ill" I chuckled,

"_Thirsty"_

Reno let out a quiet laugh "You were nervous earlier…" he explained, I made a small "ohh" sound before smiling slightly 

"Yeah, I'm fine now. I don't know what came over me…it was just…I dunno'…" 

"That doesn't't sound convincing y'know" he pushed, turning towards me. I brushed him away with a flick of the wrist before continuing to stare out into the blue abyss. There was another long silence but this time a gust of wind accompanied it causing Reno to pull his jacket closer to him _"talk to him"_

"Since when did _I_ have to convince _you_ of anything?"

"Since I am directly under Tseng and therefore above you" he smirked 

"Oooo, imagery" I muttered lustfully, smiling at him slightly. Reno stared at me quizzically for a moment or two before something clicked inside his head and his smirk turned into a sly smile "oh…you like that sort of thing?" 

"Dunno', never tried it" I revealed feeling strangely comfortable with the topic of conversation "why? Have you done it for a girl?" I grinned, raising an eyebrow 

"Well…" he said smugly "why do you think Rude and I are so close?" he finished laughing. My mouth dropped slightly with a smirk forming "right. I'll make sure to remember that…just in case" I laughed with a wink. Reno smiled "How's Shuriken doing?"

"I told her to go get some sleep"

"Right"

"_**So. Thirsty!"**_

"Tseng and Rude still at the bar?" I asked suddenly desiring something to numb me, Reno nodded 

"Why?" 

"I could use a drink that's all, I'll enjoy the company…and the images" I remarked, pushing off the barrier and strolling confidently away from him and towards the entrance to the hospitality of the boat "hey Teya!" Reno called, I stopped in my tracks and turned my head slightly "I was joking about the whole…Rude and me thing y'know" he explained, I bit my bottom lip with amusement 

"Sure you were Reno" I called back, continuing my stroll. Reno called out again but what he said was inaudible as I entered the ship. The inside of the large, floating rust bucket was surprisingly different from it's exterior appearance. It was furnished with old oak tables and chairs, a beautifully waxed wooden floor and gold finishing's. Just how I imagined Shin-ra would want it. I strutted through the corridors, passing other passengers along the way, all of which decided to give me nervous glances every time I caught their eye. Music could be heard at the end of the winding alley and I quickened my pace slightly, desiring the strong drink more than I had done before_ "so….thirsty…"_. A young man dressed in a black suit opened the door to the bar kindly for me and I nodded my thanks to him in response before shuffling into a large room filled with wooden tables and chairs. A cloud of cigarette smoke hovered above the room as people were laughing and calling out just as they would in a local pub. The stench of alcohol wafted around in a thick fog. The loud music was coming from the small stage that was in the back of the room, a large stereo had been set up with its huge speakers placed in each corner of the room. On the opposite side of the room was the bar, behind it stood the bartender who was dressed in a traditional manor. He tightened his black bowtie for a moment and re-fastened a button on his scarlet coloured waist coat that had come loose. Behind him there was an array of wines, spirits and ales making it seem more colourful. I bit my bottom lip as my mouth became dry suddenly, I was so thirsty _"drink…!" _her voice seemed to become less. I jogged over to the bar and asked for something strong _"no! Water"_

"Why?" 

"_Water!" _she yelled, sounding course 

"Okay, okay" I muttered, obviously confusing some nearby bystanders. I quickly called over the bartender, whom was called Andy, and changed my order. He looked at me quizzically for a moment before I fixed him with a stern look. He passed me my glass and served the next customer with haste, not daring to give me another glance. I stormed away from the bar, holding the glass as if my life depended on it, and eventually found Tseng and Rude sat near the stage "Teya" Rude nodded, Tseng smiled curtly "will you join us?" he said unenthusiastically, I sat down in response. My eyes were fixed on the glass of water I held in my hand "you alright?" Rude asked, leaning towards me slightly. My breaths became shorter "I th-think I'll need to g-go and sp-speak t-to Ho-…Hojo when we get back" I stuttered, my mouth becoming dryer and dryer after every word "why?" Tseng pondered, I shook my head slightly before downing the water like it was going out of fashion. I let out a pleasurable sigh and set the glass down on the table "that feels better" I smiled, Rude and Tseng stared at me questionably "I was thirsty that's all" I said lightly, Tseng shuffled slightly and gazed at me with curiosity 

"_What the hell was that about?"_ I demanded

"_Your not the only one who's made out of 70% water_" there was a pause whilst Tseng started talking to Rude about possible hotspots for crime back in Midgar _"you were dehydrating" _

"_No I wasn't!"_ I yelled back 

"_Well…I was" _

"_How?"_

"_You've been drinking an awful lot…more than the others…you'd be dead if it weren't for me" _

"_And you want a thank you is that it?"_

"_No I wan't you to give me water!" _

"_I've given you water!"_ I replied, starting to feel parched again 

"_Not enough. Now give me water!" _she ordered, I let my mouth open slightly as it dried out once more. I ran to the bar about seven times ordering two glasses of water each time but I was still so thirsty "come on!" I mumbled in frustration, drinking another glass of water "_that's gotta' be enough! I'll drown in it in a minute! I don't even understand. If it's you that needs water, why am __**I**__ thirsty?" _

"_Your really not that smart are you?" _she commented, I glared into space and waited for her to continue _"Im a part of you. I can do whatever I want. And that includes taking the liquid you drink"_

"_That's why I was "dehydrating"? "_

"_Exactly. You were drinking far too much alcohol"_

"_And the problem with that is?"_

"_We'll die!" _she screamed, causing me to wince. I sighed and buried my face in my hands, I was going crazy. I was going completely crazy! The noise in the room suddenly turned to a low buzzing and all I could hear was my blood rampaging around my veins, my heart thumped slowly and out of key. The room span around and around. All of a sudden I saw him, Sephiroth. He was stood in the corner of the room watching me, smiling evilly as he did. My mouth opened wider and wider, no one else seemed to take notice of him even though he stood out like a sore thumb. They all continued chatting as this man, who emitted a frightening fury, stood and watched them all knowing they would all burn. I gulped heavily and stood from my chair leaving Tseng and Rude deep in conversation. Sephiroth cocked his head to the side curiously at me before spinning on his heel and walking out a door leading to the back of the boat. I followed him like a dog, feeling so compelled to see him "Sephiroth…wait!" I called out after following him through the door but he didn't't stop. He continued through the corridor without a second glance at me, his silver hair swaying behind him gracefully and his sword hidden completely by his large, black coat. I squinted slightly as he opened the door to the outside and looked back over his shoulder at me, his eyes burned with an energy I couldn't even put into words. I felt like I was looking at God. He was beckoning me, asking me to follow him. So I obeyed. He disappeared outside and I chased after him as fast as my legs could carry me. I stumbled outside into the now pouring rain and darkness of the night, the wind picked up quickly so the waves slapped the boat violently and relentlessly. I called out to him numerous times as I struggled to walk foreword in the darkness, rain and stinging wind. When suddenly I saw him again, he was stood in mid air, just a few meters away from the boat. I sprinted towards the rail and grabbed it harshly "Sephiroth!" I begged, not really knowing what I was asking for. He looked down at the crashing, black waves beneath him and then back at me with an amused look in his eyes. He stretched out a hand to me and I tried to grab it but he was too far away "please come back!" I practically sobbed, it was af if I was losing a part of my soul. He continued to stare at me with his warm smile and only gestured for me to take his hand, I sighed and looked down at the freezing waters. I knew what he wanted me to do. I threw one of my legs over the side of the rail and the other soon followed. Before I knew it I was holding onto the back of the boat loosely watching this impossible figure reach out to me. I looked at him helplessly "I'll drown!" I said fearfully, Sephiroth suddenly looked disappointed and his hand wavered slightly. I gasped and one of my arms slipped off the rail in order to reach him but he was still too far away. I could feel my feet slipping off of the tiny piece of deck I was stood on and soon I'd be plunged into the depths but I didn't care. I leant over a little more to try and grab his hand. He wouldn't't let me fall. I still couldn't reach him! I cried out in frustration, causing him to smirk a little more "why don't you say something!" I pleaded, he merely stretched out his arm again. I bit my bottom lip, it was so cold. The rain stung my eyes and the tips of my hair were dripping water like taps "okay" I mumbled, before letting go of the rail and letting myself fall foreword. Thunder sounded and I found myself being caught by something. I was facing the icy water below, it crashed against the side of the boat, reaching it's serpentine (**A/N: **Grace ;) **)** like claw up and out of the abyss to try and touch me but it couldn't't quite reach. Whatever was holding me suddenly jerked me up and back over the rail much to my dissatisfaction, Sephiroth had a look of outrage painted on his face which terrified me "huh?" I gasped as I turned to face Rude who looked at me ludicrously. He had his large arms wrapped tightly around my waist. I turned to look back at Sephiroth who looked as if he was about to leave "no!" I yelled, trying to wriggle out of Rude's grip unsuccessfully. There was a flash of lightening and I turned back to Rude angrily, I was about to start cussing but instead a loud gasp left me. The rain had stopped…in fact it was pure sunshine, not a cloud in the sky. All the water that I had been painted in had gone so I was bone dry. The waves were calm as they had been before I went into the bar and the heat was nearly unbearable. Sephiroth was gone. And I was left with having to hear Jenova laugh over and over again along with Rude and an astounded looking Tseng's worry filled gazes. I shrugged away from Rude, backing up until I hit the rail. There was no way I was even going to _try_ and explain. I frowned and didn't look either of them in the eye, they were obviously waiting for an explanation that they were not going to get. Two passengers leant over the side of the boat a few meters away from us "look, look there it is! There's Costa Del Sol!" one of them yelled whilst the other squealed dramatically. After an unbearable pause I stormed past my two fellow Turks with the intention of waking Shuriken from her slumber. 

The boat hauled it's heavy, hindered carcass into the dock with some form of strain. The sun was beating down hard on us but it was a nice change from struggling to breath because of the Mako fumes. For the first time in a long time I saw the sky, I had forgotten how…vibrant it was. Birds flew over head…well when I say "birds" I mean birds that had been disfigured and angered by pollution, but they chirped and sang their song as if nothing had changed. Music filled the air as tanned tourists and locals strolled about in their swimwear chatting and laughing. Some of them made eyes at us as we exited the boat , but then again who wouldn't. We were all dressed in black, our faces were deathly pale and not even a glimpse of a smile crossed any of our lips. We strolled casually along the dock, heaving our suitcases as we went. 

Rude and Tseng never did talk to me after what happened on the boat, nor did I want them to. I didn't really understand what happened or why it happened. It almost felt as if I was asleep. She had been quiet to, since then she had said nothing. Even when I asked her what happened she just laughed or said nothing. Thankfully Reno and Shuriken knew nothing of my supposed "suicide attempt", I knew if that loud mouth knew about it he'd never shut up. On some levels it sort of amused me, my own stupidity just made me laugh. I had felt so at peace with him being there despite knowing what he would do or what he has done. It was like I _knew_ him. I felt like I was a part of him. 

We didn't have to travel very far in order to get to the main part of Costa Del Sol, in fact it was in walking distance from the dock which had shocked me a little. I thought it was going to be a large city with tons of night life but it turned out to be a small little village with a large beach dominating it mostly. The president had a house in the little village, a very large house as it took up half the village. He had very kindly decided to let us use this house for the week, well Rufus had persisted to his father. In fact, it was Rufus who had suggested this vacation in the first place which really didn't help the ever circulating rumours about the vice president and myself. 

The presidents villa was something you most definitely could not miss. It looked so grand! I couldn't really imagine Reno feeling comfortable staying here somehow however I proved wrong as he scurried quickly over to the largest bedroom and jumped ontp the bed calling "dibbs". I sighed and smirked as he rolled around on the bed like a child "what _are_ you doing?" I demanded, leaning up against the door frame with my suitcase at my feet. Reno stared at me for a moment before sitting up lazily, his red hair poking out in a variety of directions. He gave me a sly smile and pushed down hard on the spot next to him "testing how loud the springs are" he responded, wiggling his eyebrows in a kinky fashion. I rolled my eyes and pushed off the door frame with a sigh before dragging my heavy suitcase to a bedroom further down the hall. I felt like I was back on the boat, it all looked the same. Wooden floor, golden finishing's, everything was upped to look expensive and my room was included in that. 

I grimaced as I entered the sparkling scarlet and gold room. A double poster bed sat neatly against the wooden wall in the middle of the room, a deep red rug decorating the floor in front of it. I sighed and rolled my suitcase over to the bed where I hastily collapsed with exhaustion. I stared up at the plain ceiling with all train of thought leaving my head and before I knew it my eyelids started to creep downwards although, it didn't stay that way for long. A vivid image of Sephiroth sprung into my mind and I sat up violently with a gasp "oh Gods…" I groaned, placing my fingers on my temples. My eyes glanced up into the mirror that sat attached to a wooden vanity table opposite the bed. I looked tired, my dark red hair looking dry and lifeless like wicker. My lips parted slightly as I stared at the reflection seeing nothing but…confusion and pain. What was the point? I was in so much pain and yet I refused to let myself go, well, that wasn't really a difficult problem to figure out. Lately the option of suicide had been an appealing prospect and the incident on the boat had shaken me I won't deny, but I no longer feared taking my own life. That in itself was a scary thought. And yet, it amused me to no end that no matter how many times I'd tell myself that I wasn't afraid, I still wouldn't do it. I smiled slightly and stood from the bed letting myself untense as I began to unpack my suitcase. Tomorrow would be a new day. I would wake up as usual feeling fine until the evening where I would drown myself in thoughts of blood, tears and pain…just as I did every night. If I were honest then I'd admit that I was afraid to die and yet I craved it all the while. I wanted something to make me feel like I had a purpose instead of feeling like I was a tool in a war that hadn't even started! Until then I'd just have to put up with the outbursts of insanity. 


	14. Vacation Pt 4

I am sooooo sorry. I've had exams and revision has taken over etc, hence the rather long chapter J. Please review (despite my long absence L) and enjoy!

The burning sun tore through the dusty, rouge soaked curtains and the sound of the day could be heard. People were already walking around outside, the drumming of their shoes and clang of their voices darting around the clustered village, and the sound of the waves stormed through the villa in an ignorant rampage. My eyes creaked open slowly without desire or intention of staying open for long. The sunlight stung and I rolled over with a groan trying to block out the sun. The bed I had slept in was far more comfortable than the bed in the inn, it felt softer and supported all the aches and pains I had in my back. I was reluctant to move from this newley found place of comfort. Everything was quiet in the villa, no footsteps or voices could be heard although I expected just as much considering everyone was exhausted from travelling. Reno probably wouldn't be up until far later in the day, hell it probably wouldn't even still be day. My stomach suddenly protested against my need for more rest and I chewed my bottom lip hungrily as I thought about what I could eat. Was there even any food in the kitchen? It was time to investigate, so with a heavy sigh I threw my thick, feather filled duvet off of myself and with great effort managed to creep my way over to the door without making too much noise. I half expected to be greated with sound of a rolling chorus of snores however I was met with dead silence instead. I slowly slid along the corridor, my tattered grey socks taking away any friction against the wooden floor, heading toward the kitchen with a quickening pace. I yawned as I entered the kitchen and made my way around the marble breakfast bar towards the fridge. I scratched my head lazily and held back the urge to yawn again as I stuck my head into the fridge only to find a glorious amount of nothing. My stomach grumbled again as I became increasingly more awake "hmm" I pondered, thinking of the possibilities but suddenly the door to the villa was swung open with a crash making me half scream with fright "Teya!" said Reno, strutting in carrying a bag of what appeared to be breakfast and a coffee "What are you doing up?" I asked, eyeing the contents of the bag he was carrying. The red head laughed as he caught sight of it "I must be a mind reader" he mused, throwing the bag at me

"You bought me breakfast? What about the other's?" I asked, taking a look inside the plastic bag to find an egg and bacon sandwhich wrapped up for me, Reno flushed slightly "nah, they've all eaten too", I looked up quickly

"Huh? What time is it?" I asked, sputtering. Suddenly I was concerned that it had been I who had slept all day "it's 8 am" Reno replied, sitting on a stool at the bar, obviously amused by my sudden panic. I frowned at him and happily started unwrapping the sandwhich "ugh…thanks" I muttered, smiling at him slightly as I bit into the warm bread. Food had never tasted so good. Reno gave me a half smile and pushed the coffee he had in his hand towards me "don't mention it" he answered cockily. I licked my lips idly before speaking again "where are the others?", Reno looked out of the open door curiously

"About to walk through the door" he said cockily, I stood up straight and watched the door eagerly when all of a sudden the rest of the group came in. They all looked at me with vacant expressions until Shuriken waved excitedly at me "good morning!" she grinned, I nodded at her before turning my attention to Rude who, oddly, was not wearing his sunglasses. He stared at me warily for a while, the incident on the boat obviously not being forgotten and for good reason "good morning Rude" I said quietly and not making eye contact, trying to break the thin sheet of ice that had formed. Reno looked between Rude and I suspiciously "what? You guy's sleep together or something?" he questioned, Rude gave him a cold look "Reno stop being an ass" Shuriken piped up, I smirked at their name calling which followed until Tseng spoke "that's enough _children_" he said coldly. I stared at him in awe, I admired his composure. He never broke, never really yelled. His mere presence caused tension. I'd love to have that sort of power. He turned towards me and nodded his greetings "morning sir" I replied

"So, what's on the agenda for today then?" Reno asked enthusiastically, swinging his legs like a child

"Beach I hope" Shuriken smiled, Reno nodded

"Yeah!" he chortled, Tseng looked at Rude and me for conformation. I shrugged whilst chewing another piece of my sandwich "I'm good". Rude merely nodded once and Tseng sighed which gave the hopeful Turks great joy "YES!" Shuriken announced "I'll go change!" she grinned and skipped merrily towards her room. I chuckled slightly and leant against the bar, my focus soley on the piece of food I held tightly in my hands "I take it your enjoying that?" Reno asked sarcastically, leaning foreward on the breakfast bar. I nodded furiously, taking another large bite "It's not goin' anywhere y'know" he chuckled, I chewed my food relentlessly as I tried to talk "I'm hungry" I replied, sputtering slightly. The red head laughed slightly and stared at me intently like he used to when I first worked at Shin-ra. Like I was a piece of meat. Gosh, had it really been that long ago? I pondered this for a while annd suddenly my wonderful sandwich had lost it's taste, I looked at it with disgust and threw it onto the plain marble. Reno cocked his eyebrow "hurt your feelings or something?", I shook my head and took a rather nervous glance at Rude who was still staring at me warily "I'm gonna' go take a shower and get changed" I mumbled, not wanting to be in this uncomfortable presence any longer. Reno mumbled an "okay" as he began to eat the rest of my sandwich and I shuffled quietly back into my room. It was obvious that I would have to disscuss the events on the boat with Rude at some point, you could see it in his face that he wanted to talk to me. I would have to put it off as long as possible, even if that meant blocking him out completely.

"So, you didn't ever once ask Jenova why that happened?" Dr Stewart asked curiously, I rubbed my head tiredly "I was scared to"

"Scared? Why?"

"Well it's not everyday that you try to throw yourself off the back of a boat is it?" I said dumbly, rolling my eyes. I had been talking to him for a good two hours and still nothing made sense. Not that it was his job to make it make sense. I ran a hand threw my hair and thought about the events after that uncomfortable morning "why are you laughing?" he asked, smiling slightly. I hadn't even realised I was to be perfectly honest but he was right "I'm thinking about…things"

"Things? Turk things or…?"

"Or?" I repeated, Dr Stewarts smile began to grow and I caught on to what he meant "oh…" I smiled, feeling my face turn hot "what _was_ your relationship with Reno at this point?"

"I dunno'…" I started, putting real thought into it "we were…friends but…sometimes…in the early stages I thought maybe…but…no it was ridiculous. That was the conclusion I came to. Ridiculous"

"What made you think it was ridiculous?"

"He would flirt with other women in front of me, talk about how much sex he'd had the night before…I just didn't see it happening because he was such a…womanizer. I didn't want to be another knotch on his bed post so I decided that I'd steer clear of him until he got the message" I said confidently, a small smile on my face "but?" the older man smirked, I shook my head and ran a hand threw my hair

"I dunno…I think…ah…we'll get to that later". There was a pause, Dr Stewart stared at me with a slightly patronising smile but I didn't care. I felt like a teenager whenever I thought about this vacation. My face would always heat up and I wouldn't be able to describe it without tripping over my words. Stupid really. The slow chime of a clock was the only sound in the room and I found myself drifting off int a sort of trance, thinking things through… "Teya?" Dr Stewarts voice creaked in, I snapped my head up "sorry" I chuckled. Dr Stewart sighed slightly and stretched his back a little

"What happened at the beach?".

It was so quiet. That was the first thing I noted as I stepped out onto the sandy shores. The sea washed in smoothly and with calm intent before releasing it's soft grip on the layers of gold. I took a long breath of sea salt air and groaned gratefully. It had been a long time since I had breathed in something so pure. The town was busier than the beach much to my surprise, only a few people had sprawled out along the long coast with their towels and windbreakers. I chuckled as a couple of boy's, who couldn't have been older than twelve, were throwing a frisbe to each other in the sea. I could see why the guy's were so hyped up about coming here. It truly was relaxing, and I was going to make the most of every minute of it "Teya, wanna' have a swim in the sea?" Shuriken asked, setting her towel up neatly in our chosen spot in the middle of the beach "maybe later. I think a good start on a tan might be the first thing on my mind" I smiled, Shuriken winked at me

"Well, we'll get you in either way Miss Barlow" said Reno, who had already discarded his shirt. I stared at him for a moment or two. For a lanky guy, he sure did surprise me when he decided to show off his rather toned chest. I blushed slightly and regained his eye contact without him noticing "hey, I said I'd go in. Just…not now" I replied, raising my hands in my defence. Reno smirked and scratched the top of his head "I don't get how you girls can just lay around all day and wait for the sun to burn the crap outta' you!" he argued, I rolled my eyes and sat down on my towel

"I don't know whether you've noticed Reno but we don't get a lot of sunlight in Midgar so I think we're gonna'make the most of it" I countered with a smirk. We stared at each other for a while before two fully tanned women walked by. Their bright green and blue bikini's obviously too small for them and their long locks of raven hair touching their waists "hey" they both said seductively towards Reno as they strutted past. They batted their eyelids as they spoke and I cringed slightly and turned my attention to Reno who smiled politely which…was very strange indeed for Reno. He turned to look back at me for a moment before noticing that I was staring at him with slight shock "what?" he asked, coking his head to the side. I scoffed in response "what? No crude comment? No use of the "Reno Effect"? Not even a sexy smile? Are you ill?" I chuckled, Shuriken laughed slightly as she laid next to me absorbing the rays of the sun. Reno shrugged slightly and sat down opposite me "guess I'm not in the mood" he replied, giving me an honest look. I shook my head slightly at him "who are you and what have you done with Reno?", the red head nodded sarcastically

"Really? That's the best reponse you could come up with? Okay, okay…" we both started to chuckle as his words continued and were eventually left in a comfortable silence "I can see why you were all excited to come here" I commented to no one in particular

"Yeah?" Reno replied, laying down

"It's beautiful" I nodded, looking out onto the horizen. It was scorching hot and I was already sweating so I discarded my clothing and copied my peers as they lay in their beachwear, gratefully utilizing the warmth from the sun. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Reno give me the once over so I chuckled "thought you said you weren't in the mood?" I asked sarcastically

"That was then, this is now" he replied lazily. I rolled my eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep.

The next time I opened my eyes Reno, Rude and Shuriken were no where in sight "where are the chuckling trio?" I mused to Tseng who was playing around with his laptop, obviously working. He pointed down towards the ocean, his eyes never leaving the screen. I sighed and glanced down at the waves in a failed attempt to see them. Masses of people were down there now. Midday had obviously struck and the heat was nearly unbearable. I rubbed a hand over my tired face, the sweat forming stuck to my hand as I pulled it away from my forehead "you alright?" Tseng asked lowly, I glanced at him in surprise "yeah" I replied quickly, he still hadn't taken his eyes off that damn screen "I thought this was a vacation…_sir_" I poked, the venom in my voice obvious

"For you it is " he spat back calmly, his fingers pausing over the keyboard for a fraction of a second. I rolled my eyes subtly before scratching the back of my head. The heat was driving me mad. I was beginning to pant slightly and sweat was dripping off me in bucket loads "we're all going out to dinner tonight" Tseng continued, oblivious to my discomfort

"Huh?" I groaned, looking at a woman drinking a bottle of water with envy

"I said we're all going out to dinner tonight. You'll need to have a cocktail dress" he finished, sounding pleased with himself for no apparent reason "I don't _have_ a cocktail dress" I moaned, sounding as if this was the most obvious thing in the world. Tseng stopped typing and turned towards me, locking his dark eyes with my squinted ones "well _get_ one then" he snapped, returning to his work. I rolled my eyes at his order and looked out on the world once more "about what happened on the boat" Tseng began. Time seemed to instantly slow down with every word he spoke, it was inevitable. I was about to get interrogated and if I didn't answer then I was going to have to endure the most serious beat down I'll ever have to go through. I sighed and looked at him slowly "…yes?" I replied nervously, staring at him painfully through my sandy hair. There was a pause, I could tell by the concentrated expression on Tseng's face that he was choosing his words carefully "do I even need to ask?" he spoke finally, I was taken aback slightly as I was expecting something entirely different so I did not answer "Rude demanded that he speak with you but I said I would do it" he continued, looking at the sand beneath him but his voice not mirroring his sorrowful gaze "I assume that there will be no other emotional intrusions like that" he barked, finally looking at me. I stared at him dumbfounded for a moment or two before nodding slowly "I don't like to see my Turks in that position Teya" he added, his voice becoming sharper and face becoming angrier "…that's the cowards way out. Do _**not**_ let me catch you in that position again! Do I make myself clear?" he said, I licked my lips hesitantly and looked away from him "yes sir, crystal clear"

"You will see Hojo when we get back, do you understand?" he finished, I nodded in agreement and that was it. It was better than I expected but there was nothing worse than having Tseng disappointed in you. I attempted many times after those few silent moments to strike up a cheerier conversation with him but it was hopeless. He brushed me aside with a mere glance and I was left to my own devices. I suddenly found the sand that was annoyingly stuck between my toes fascinating and began to twirl my feet around the coarse ground, crunching and feeling any rocks that were laid peacefully amongst the warm layers of sediment. As I watched the sand cascade through my toes I heard my name being called from a few meters away "Teya!" they called, I lifted my head up in the burning heat for a moment before I caught a glimpse of Shuriken who, at this time, was soaking. Her hair was clumped together and was darkened, a wide smile was plastered on her face and her teeth gleamed in the midday sun. I smiled weakly back and squinted slightly as the sun caught my eye again "what's up?" I called out, raising my hand to shield my eyes momentarily. Shuriken approached with a quicker pace before she was left breathless standing over me, droplets of salty water pouring over my parched legs "come in the water. It's great" she enthused, I chuckled slightly and let my hand rest on the my towel

"I'm not really a water person" I smiled, she pouted slightly but I quickly changed the subject "Tseng said I need a dress for this evening and…well…I don't have one" I frowned, Shuriken caught her breath and sat down next to me with a thud "well" she sighed "I guess we could go shopping"

"Shopping?" I repeated, she nodded enthusiastically, spraying Tseng in water droplets. He flinched back slightly and she smiled her apology "I suppose we could go…" I replied quietly. I hadn't been shopping for clothes in a while. I had become so used to my suit that any other form of clothing besides the essentials seemed pointless to have however this did not seem to enter Shuriken's mind as she grinned at me wildly "y'know, I haven't been on a shopping trip in AGES! It's something we should definitely do together" she giggled as Rude and Reno made their way up from the water, both soaking. Reno's hair was slapped against his face in one large, wet mound whilst Rude seemed to gleam in the sunlight. I smirked slightly as they approached, both of them seemed to be panting slightly from sprinting on the hot sand "have fun?" I asked, looking up at them both. Rude nodded graciously and looked towards Tseng for a moment or two, I glanced over in the raven haired Turks direction to find him staring at Rude with what could be perceived as confirmation. I scoffed quietly and shook my head in amusement, Reno smiled at me "you have still got to get in the water y'know?" he poked, I was about to reply when Shuriken cut in "apparently she's "not a water person"" she amused, curling some of her damp hair around her fingers. Reno smirked and stared at me with mischievous eyes. I glared at him "whatever your thinking of doing, **don't** do it" I snapped playfully, Reno grinned and sat down on the unoccupied side of me "why?" he replied, an essence of flirtation shrouding his voice. Water droplets were falling calmly from his soaking hair and I watched them with an empty curiosity as they dripped slowly from the fiery tips onto his bare chest. Reno watched me with curious eyes for a few moments before he leaned in slightly closer to me, his previous flirtatiousness and lust disappearing long enough for me to get an idea of how it would feel to have Reno look at me as a person that meant something to him. His eyes were half closed and full of mist and his smile was small but prominent. Little did I realise that I was returning his expression which only egged him on further to slowly brush his fingers across the back of my hand, his eyes never leaving mine. I shivered slightly at the touch and broke the eye contact to stare at his hand that was resting softly on top of my own. I blushed slightly and looked away momentarily, I hadn't seen Reno like this before and it was a shock when I started to feel my own heart beat thumping in my ears. I was confused and slightly worried, normally I could brush off his advances with a witty retort but this seemed different, this seemed…real? When I looked back however, Reno was no longer staring at me and his touch slowly started to drift away but never left it completely. I followed his gaze and landed on Tseng who looked like he was about to burst. His mouth clenched into a tight line, shoulders tensed and his face going ever so slightly crimson. His eyes were dark and they pierced through Reno's skull with prestige and dominance. They stared at each other for what seemed like hours, neither of them giving in. Reno's smile had dematerialized and had been replaced with a harsh scowl. Shuriken, Rude and I glanced between the pair of them until Reno finally gave in and released my hand, I sighed as I watched him sulk, lying coarsely on the sand, staring up into the blue sky with the same scowl. I frowned slightly and was about to give him some form of comfort but Shuriken stopped me "why don't we go and get those dresses Teya?" she muttered quietly in an attempt to satisfy Tseng in some way. I glanced back at Reno who seemed to still be thinking over the previous event with an irritated frown and nodded at her. I didn't really want to go but maybe I could find out what the hell just happened!

It didn't take us long to get to the shops in town. There was a large market place near the edge of the city and, not much to my surprise, it was practically empty. There were row's of fairly good looking shops lined up for us, full of latest fashion items in the windows causing to Shuriken to point and gasp whenever she saw something she liked. A few people walked passed us now and again, all of them carrying large bags full to the brim with clothes or the weekly groceries. Shuriken brought me out of my trance by asking me if I had seen anything I liked, I politely shook my head and continued to gaze in an opposite direction. What had happened with Reno…was that feeling…that reaction…normal? That hadn't happened before, not with _anyone_. It scared me to a certain extent. Maybe Reno had felt it to, maybe he was trying to-

"_Oh please, your just another notch in his bedpost"_, I jumped back slightly as she spoke. She had been so quiet since the boat incident I had nearly forgotten all about her _"you don't know that"_ I replied sternly, feeling more confident in Reno _"come on, use your head! He only wants one thing from you and he's got the reputation to prove it" _she concluded. I looked at the floor as we walked, she was right, as much as I hated it; she was right. How stupid of me! I scoffed out loud and Shuriken turned to look "what's up?" she asked, glancing at some shoes in one of the windows

"What the hell happened with Tseng and Reno back there?" I asked tiredly, Shuriken looked at me sympathetically "I don't know to be honest. I've never seen the pair of them like that before" she replied, walking up to a fancy looking shop called _Belle Endeavour _with some lovely dresses in the window "let's have a look in here!" Shuriken said enthusiastically rushing into the store without looking back. I smirked as the door swung open with a mighty crash causing the young woman behind the desk to gasp in fright. As Shuriken ran around the shop like she hadn't been in one before, I took in the appearance of the woman who was now staring at Shuriken with a mixture of amusement and confusion. She looked fairly middle aged. Her frail looking hair scrunched up tightly into a bun, her pale eyes glowing slightly in the reflection of the sun. After a moment or two she caught me staring and tilted her small head at me questionably, I parted my lips slightly and gave her a weak smile before my gaze returned to Shuriken "Teya!" she called "this is beautiful! Do you think it would suit me?" she pondered, holding a long, sparkly, multicoloured dress up to herself. I nodded to her slightly "why don't you try it on and see how it looks" I offered, giving her a vote of confidence

"Ugh…I dunno'…" she mumbled, glancing at the lady behind the counter who gave her a nod of approval. Shuriken jumped slightly in her moment of glee and scurried off to the changing room. When the blue curtain at the back of the shop closed tightly I let my eyes wonder around the rest of the room. So many things stood out whether it was clothes or jewellery, all of it seemed to catch my eye. I suddenly felt like a kid, the excitement that rippled through you when you stepped into a sweet shop. It was the same experience. The lady behind the desk, whose name was Lauren, stepped out from behind her wooden prison and smiled at me curiously "are you looking for anything in particular?" she asked, stepping towards me cautiously. I was about to brush her question away when suddenly I thought I may as well make the most of this experience "yes. My friends and I are going out to dinner tonight, both myself and my friend in the changing room need cocktail dresses", the woman suddenly looked delighted "Oh! This is why I love my job" she squealed, her eyes lighting up with a warm smile. I smirked slightly as she wondered through the crowds of racks, looking at nearly every dress and muttering to herself "Teya?" a soft voice called, I turned to look at Shuriken who, well let's just say she looked like a gone off fruit salad "ugh…" I mumbled, trying to think of something better to say than "that looks ridiculous". I smiled weakly at her and squinted slightly "maybe you should keep looking" I offered hoping that it was sufficient. Shuriken nodded hastily "yeah. I don't think this is really me" she laughed, I sighed with relief as she wondered back into the changing room. If Reno saw her in that, she'd never hear the end of it. Lauren eventually returned holding a stack of dresses by the hooks in each hand. Most of them were red, blue and black in her left hand whilst her right harboured deep pinks and greens _"Oh Gods let mine be the right!"_ I screamed in my head as she grinned at me. Shuriken walked out of the changing roomed, in her summer clothes once again with the wildly coloured dress she had chosen was crumpled slightly in her arms "ugh…I don't think this is right" she said apologetically to Lauren, she failed to realise that Lauren was holding a heap load of dresses until I coughed slightly and gestured to them "oh…my…GODS!" she yelled, laughter evident in her voice "I didn't see these!" she giggled, taking some of them from Lauren and holding them up to herself

"I got them from the back" Lauren replied, handing me a dark blue, backless dress. I stared at it warily at first, I felt so uncomfortable it was unbelievable but Shuriken was persistent "come ON Teya! What are you waiting for?" she urged, practically pushing me into the changing room. As I scooted into the small room I realised there was no way out of this situation so I would have to enjoy it as best I could. After a large sigh exited me, I started to change.

Four hours. FOUR HOURS! I stayed in that shop for **FOUR HOURS! **I found my dress quite quickly, there was nothing to it really. Just a quick change, whichever one I liked the best was it. But then there were shoes, accessories, make-up. The whole frigging hog! By the end of it I were was near enough saying yes to anything she showed me! It all came to end finally when Rude called my cell phone wondering where we were and, sadly for Shuriken, we had to leave. After we had paid, which came to lovely grand total of 500 gil **each**, we made our way back to the villa.

Despite my frustration for staying in one space for so long I was glad I got to see what the night life was like. The air was cool and crisp, and the neon lights that penetrated out of each and every nightclub was held like a glowing curtain over Costa Del Sol. Music could be heard everywhere we turned, people yelling and laughing, singing to songs they know, the sound of billiard balls crashing together. It brought a smile to each of our faces as the sound of crickets could still be heard over the lumber of noise. It was refreshing to see other sights than that of Midgar. No night life existed in the slums, well...unless you were a fan of Corneo's that is. Most people were afraid to come out at night because of all the creatures that roamed around the dark infested corners. What it was like up on the plate I didn't know. Sometimes, when it was really quiet, you could hear people laughing and signing. The rich folk had no idea that the people below them were listening with pangs of jealousy and anger "I doubt Tseng will let us hang out in _there_ you know" Shuriken pointed out, brining sharply out of my daze. She was referring to a night club that I had been unintentionally staring at for the past five minutes as we walked closer and closer. I shrugged off her comment with a shake of the head and sped up in order to reach the villa faster.

Over the months I had begun to get to know Shuriken a lot better than I originally intended to. My first impression of her was patronising which was something I hated but now I could see that she was just trying to be friendly. I had become accustom to her ways and, because of that, she had become the only real "girlfriend" I had.

Tami had left the scene now. After I became a Turk, she found my company unbearably discomforting. I didn't blame her. She was polite enough however to not just shrug me off, she did in fact try to feel at ease with me being there but her efforts went to waste as I changed over time. I no longer desired her company and she was relieved to be rid of mine. We might as well have been strangers.

Getting back to Shuriken, she had…changed slightly. I had begun to get to know her yes but…when you know someone _that_ well and then they suddenly change…Anyway, it's not a big deal. It's not like she's going to turn on Shin-ra but…I have my doubts. Mainly because she has them too. She's been thinking twice lately, something that a Turk shouldn't do. If Tseng found out…geez, wouldn't wanna' be in her shoes.

Cold, empty eyes staring back at me, covered in colour in some weak attempt to look more life like. Straw like hair, half up and half down, falling gruesomely onto pale shoulders, silver grips and slides incrusted with supposedly "real diamonds" crushed in to make it look free. The dark blue dress that I had chosen gleamed as the light emitting from the ceiling hit the silver sparkles that were sprayed across it. It seemed more of a ballroom dress than a dinner dress but Shuriken had said it would be fine. I sighed as I took one last look at my face in the mirror before standing to get an overview. I didn't really have anything to compare myself to so what I saw didn't make that much of an impact. The strapless dress reached just past my knees and fell gently flat. The silver necklace around my neck and the midnight blue shoes I wore "coordinated" with the clothes according to Shuriken so I'd just have to take her word for it "Yo! Teya! Hurry it up would ya!" Reno called, slamming his fist on the door numerous times with every syllable, I smirked slightly and took a deep breath before walking slowly towards the door "you know, you can be so impatient sometimes Re-" I yelled, opening the door. Unfortunately I couldn't finish my sentence as I was stunned to find Reno 1) ready and 2) in a **tux**! Something I never thought I would see in my life. But there he was, in the flesh, looking like a penguin. He gave me the once over and his jaw dropped ever so slightly "I…ugh…" he began, still ogling me. I chuckled slightly and regained my composure "there" I began softly "I'm ready" I finished before walking briskly past him and into the living room where an impatient Tseng and a silent Rude were waiting "good of you to join us" Tseng muttered, standing from the leather couch, I smirked slightly as he gestured for me to sit "where's Shuriken?" I asked, sitting next to Rude in a more feminine fashion than usual. The bald man grunted slightly and leant on his elbow "she's outside"

"Outside?" I asked, Reno waltzing in and leaning against a fixed bar stool

"Cigarette" Rude answered

"Since when does she smoke?" Reno asked, lighting one up himself

"Good question" Tseng replied, staring out the window next to the door. There was a silence. Each of us knew that Shuriken detested cigarettes, unless she was blind drunk she never touched one. Reno cleared his throat and took a drag of his newly lit cigarette before fiddling with his bow tie uncomfortably "aw man, this sucks. Why can't I just wear whatever the fuck I wanna' wear!" he moaned, Tseng sighed and rubbed his temples. I glanced between the two of them sensing that there was still some tension between the pair "maybe we should just get going. We'll be late" I suggested, standing and heading for the door, leaving a silent trio behind me.

Shuriken stood still in her long, floor length, backless emerald dress. Her shoulder length auburn hair, curled and blowing slightly in the night air. She would have looked perfect if the cloud of tar filled smoke hadn't arisen from her "Shuriken…?", she turned her head slightly and the burning stick from her hand miraculously fell to the floor at lightning speed "are we all ready to go?" she grinned madly, I nodded slowly at her whilst tugging at my black shrug that I had just put on. I eyed her warily, the guys may not be able to see it but I sure could. Something was up, I could see it in her eyes "I haven't been out to a restaurant in _so_ long" she began as our shoes created a chorus of sounds whilst we walked down the cobbled path. I waited and slowly realised that I was not about to get a mournful sigh followed by a waterfall of confessions from her so, without much hesitation, I slowly pried "since when do you smoke?" I asked dryly, her eyes darting to me as we walked.

"Stress" she sighed quickly, I snorted

"Really?"

"Yes!" she snapped defensively

"Hey, hey I was only asking" I frowned. Stress was not something that came across Shuriken easily, in fact she was usually the one to _relieve _it instead of accumulating it so, in short that was a load of bull. I was about to attempt another question regarding her behaviour but decided against it due to her overwhelmingly tense shoulders and her sharp gaze that, if concentrated anymore, could probably cut someone in two. One thing was for sure however, something was wrong and it wasn't as simple as a broken nail. Questions then invaded my mind like an army, what happened between earlier today and now to make her so tense? Why is she not talking about it? What is she going to do about it? And most importantly of all, _**what was it?**_ I was locked in intertwining daydream filled with questions but no answers. It worried me to think that there was something wrong with Shuriken, it was just so…unusual!

"Cheer up" the red head called as he pressed up close to me and whispered words into my ear "you're about to embark on the most exciting night of your life" he grumbled mockingly, I smirked at him and fixed my gaze firmly on the ground. I could feel Reno staring at me as we walked and his gaze was only broken by the sight of Shuriken walking ahead "ugh…" he started, leaning in close to me so his voice was a mere whisper "don't ugh…worry about Shuriken. I'm sure she'll be alright" he continued

"I'm not worried about her" I pointed out as-matter-of-factly, Reno sighed

"I can see right through you" he murmured in my ear and I shivered uncontrollably. I looked at him for a moment or two, his eyes fixed with mine. I expected his stare to give me a form of comfort but it didn't. Instead of giving me the warm feeling in my stomach like it had at the beach it gave me the feeling of being venerable. He really could see right through me "I know" I let out a large breath that I had been holding for quite some time and Reno titled his head slightly at me "Teya…" he started, grabbing my waist to stop me from walking. I looked away from him, worried that Tseng, Rude or Shuriken may turn around at any moment and catch us in this awkward position "Reno…let me go" I ordered quietly, placing my hands on his "let me go" I repeated before pushing him off of me and straining to catch up with my fellow Turks.


	15. FORGIVE ME!

Extremely sorry everyone, this story has been put on hold for a bit. I have exams again until the beginning of July so I wont be updating again till then. Really sorry but as soon as my exams are over I have three months with NOTHING so I'll probably have the whole thing finished by then J. Thank you for being really patient.


	16. Vacation: The Final Part dun dun DUUN!

**A/N: I felt a bit bad so here's a rather short instalment that I hope you all will enjoy. Thank you again for being so patient with me, it truly is appreciated. Enjoy!**

* * *

Well, Reno had been right. Dinner was the most appalling experience I had ever been forced to endure. I'd rather have another Mako injection than sit through another one of those grueling hours. It wasn't as if the restaurant was bad or the people were impolite, it was the conversations that were held…well that were _briefly_ held. Tseng had almost made it look fun to dismiss any conversation whose topic steered away from business. Tseng said himself that he "wasn't interested in any of our feeble stories of nights out or supposedly "humorous" events in Reno's life". This would have been fine if work had not been so slow lately, we quite literally had nothing to do so what was there to discuss? Nothing, that's what. For the most part we sat in silence slowly picking at the overpriced food we had ordered. Reno attempted many times to hold a slightly more light hearted conversation but Tseng and him still seemed to be…well…there was still a little uneasiness between them.

After the grueling experience was over I couldn't help sigh with relief as I exited the lavish building "what a night" I mumbled and a chuckle echoed from behind me "You'll get used to it" said Rude, stalking past me. I smiled at his back slightly and followed him as we brushed through the warm streets

"Wanna' go out?" I heard Reno's pleading voice, I turned and the fiery Turk had a pleading look plastered across his face

"We are Reno" I smiled, he frowned

"Aw c'mon! I wanna' have a laugh after _that_ snooze fest!"

"Hmm" I contemplated his idea for a moment before smiling at him, a few drinks wouldn't hurt would it? And we _were_ on holiday… "I'll go and grab the other two" I finished, indicating towards Rude and Shuriken but I was pulled back by the red head "wha-?" I managed but Reno cut me off in a slight panic

"They look pretty…ugh…tired…why don't _we_ go for a drink" he muttered hopefully. This suggestion worried me, why just me? Surely Reno would want Rude with him! But I made no objections; it was true that both Reno and I had had an excruciatingly long and dull evening so the thought of letting my hair down was an appealing offer no matter who was with me. I nodded at him with a smile before looking back at the retreating forms of Rude, Shuriken and Tseng "they probably won't even know we're gone" Reno chortled, taking hold of my hand and pulling me in the direction of the nearest club "c'mon!" he groaned as he continued to pull. Whatever Reno's plans were, they were obviously going to involve consuming large amounts of alcohol and dancing until your blisters have blisters! I had no objections though as he lead me through the back alleys of Costa Del Sol. A wave of music could be heard drifting aimlessly through the night, emitting from the lively community that had accumulated downtown. As the bright, neon lights came into view as a haze above dusty yellow buildings I could not help but smile. Reno was grinning like never before, looking like a child in a sweet shop: spoiled for choice. His eyes glanced in every direction as he strained to find a "suitable" destination "over here!" he yelled over a chorus of drunken roars and laughter. A thick layer of cigarettes and alcohol collided with me as I stepped through the door, smoke everywhere and shadows moved against multicolored lights on the dance floor "perfect" the red head yelled over the thunderous waves of music. He turned to me and smiled a small but excitable smile "your kind of place?" I asked

"Baby, I _live_ in these places" he grinned, grabbing my hand and yanking me roughly over towards the bar. People stood in groups chatting away, drinks in hand as we approached the wooden bar "what do you want?" Reno asked, half his attention fixed on a blonde just over a meter away from us

"Vodka" I smiled, rolling my eyes at his crudeness. Reno grunted and made his way over to the plastic woman and before long I could see him invading her personal space with great amounts of success "so much for the drinks" I mumbled, laughing in awe of his ability to attract people so easily. In order to make use of myself I wandered to the very back of the club, putting a fair distance between myself, Reno and the music that oozed its way into every corner of the room it could find. My journey stopped as soon as I could hear again and the now faint music left an uncomfortable buzzing in the background. With a sigh I plummeted myself into a wooden seat, waiting patiently for my "companion" whom, if I didn't know any better, would probably spend the rest of his evening in someone else's bed! People on the dance floor moved as shadows against the bright lights, it was hard to distinguish their features and as I gazed at them in a weak attempt they stared back with frightened glances. Reno had somehow managed to get lost in the sea of waving bodies _"just leave!"_ she cried, I rolled my eyes longingly, wishing for some form of entertainment to come along. At this rate _she_ was going to be my only company and the last time I checked voices inside your heard weren't the most…_sane_ company in the world. Suddenly a glass came into view with a clear liquid inside of it "geez Reno, I'm nearly asleep over here!" I yelled, about to curse him to the heavens above

"Ugh" a man replied. I looked up and found an absence of red, flaming hair and instead found a wave of maroon colored spikes

"Ugh…" I replied, also unable to come up with any words. The man smiled slightly and rubbed the back of his neck nervously

"Sorry if I-erm…" he frowned, I suddenly found my voice again

"No, no. I ugh-…thank you" I managed, gesturing to the drink

"You looked like you could use one" he said, his elmerald eyes staring at me intently, I smiled slightly at him. He looked quite young, couldn't have been older than twenty, and he looked fresh. Something new and exciting, but I couldn't help but feel I'd seen him somewhere before. I eyed him carefully, studying him crudely as I scanned his rather well built frame which could clearly be seen from under his tight fitting shirt. I gestured for him to sit down and took great pleasure in ogling him "so, you gotta' name?" I asked, leaning back in my chair and smoothing the rim of my glass with my index finger

"Sam" he replied, sitting down confidently

"Sam…..?" I pondered, raising my eyebrows expectantly

"Mitchells" he responded after a moment of silence. I smirked slightly at him before taking a large gulp of my drink

"Well Sam Mitchells, what brings you to Costa Del Sol?" I questioned, he leant on the table as he spoke

"Just needed to get away…" he mumbled, my face softened slightly. He looked like a lost puppy and I couldn't help but feel some form of sympathy for him

"From?"

"My…ugh…brother was-…he died recently" he admitted, bowing his head slightly. Silence.

"I'm sorry" I said, he shook his head and took a sip of his drink

"Nah, I'm okay" he said chirpily "gotta' move on sometime! So, I thought I'd come here" he finished, nodding his head in the direction of the dancers. I followed his gaze and my sights lingered on the swaying crowd for a moment in an attempt to spot a head of fiery hair but I had no such luck. My companion stared at me for a moment before pulling me out of my thoughts "what's your name?", I smirked and looked down at my glass. Yeah, like I was going to tell him my name!

"You want to dance?" I asked, smiling at him slightly.

Rhythms and beats pulsed as people shook themselves loose together, the neon lights were blinding and the alcohol didn't assist my sight either. The song raged on as the pair of us moved together on the dance floor, I had to admit that I was enjoying it. It made me realise how long it had been since I had relaxed properly. Sam obviously didn't keep his hands to himself, not that I minded of course. I was used to it. Was I proud of how whorish I was acting? No, but it was a chance to let go for a little while, a chance to forget. Other couples around us moved in the same way, all of them grinding and caressing against each other like there was no tomorrow. We laughed and sang along, the drink slurring our words so they became inaudible but that's when Sam got a little _too_ close for comfort. He ran his hand up my side and down again, our faces inches away from each other's. Suddenly I felt uncomfortable, perhaps even a little vunerable. He was far larger than me, normally this wouldn't be an issue but there was something about his eyes…_ "you alright…spiky" _he muttered in my ear and I gasped

"What did you say?" I yelled, jumping away from him. That name…Spiky? So familiar…

"I said "are you alright?"" Sam repeated, frowning at me. I stared at him, open mouthed for what seemed like decades, my head pounding against itself. Sam still stood completely still, watching me as I rubbed my forehead gently "I-I think I need a drink" I called over the incessant pulse from the music, Sam nodded at me and gazed at me walking away.

I couldn't see. Couldn't think about anything, had I had to much to drink? Did Sam slip something into that glass? Or was it her…playing tricks on me. I sat at the bar, my head in my hands as the bartender filled a glass of water and slid it carefully over to me. Sam was long gone, I couldn't see him in the crowd. Poor kid, I must have scared him off "hey" Reno called, sliding up beside me "you ok?" he asked, raising an eyebrow

"Yeah", there was a pause

"Who was that guy you were talking…and _dancing_ with?" he asked through gritted teeth, I scoffed and shook my head

"Just a kid" I mumbled, taking a large gulp of water

"Why did you walk off?…He seemed pretty up for it"

"He said something…"

"Like?"

"Never mind" I finished, turning on my barstool to face him. Sweat ran down his cheek as I eyed him carefully and his shirt had been ruffled ever so slightly "what have _you_ been up to?", Reno chuckled

"The girls here are insane!" he began "I couldn't get out of that alley fast enough!"

"Pfft! Since when have _you_ run from a chance of sex?" I mocked

"Who says we were gonna' have sex yo?", I cocked an eyebrow at him slyly "what?" he protested, I sniggered and finished my water. There was a silence as a group of youngsters barged into the club, yelling and stumbling through the crowds of people, the smiles on their faces growing as soon as they realised that they had gained pretty much everyone's attention. There were three girls and four boys, some of them hand in hand, others hugging aimlessly. One girl caught my attention more so, her long black hair swaying as she walked, she turned her head towards me and her eyes could only be described as soulful. Their emerald shine glistened and stared right through me, as I gazed the girls expression became more sombre _"Teya…?" _she muttered, frowning at me

"Jessie…" I mumbled

"Hey Teya…wake up yo!" Reno called and I snapped immediately out of my trance

"Huh? What?"

"You might wanna' stop staring, I mean I know you're a Turk but you really wanna' start trouble?" he commented harshly "what?" I pondered, turning my attention back towards the girl who now wore a seriously pissed off expression "what the fuck are you looking at?" she snapped and instantly gave her an icy glare "come on, let's get you another drink yeah?" Reno suggested, sliding his arm around my shoulder. I didn't care _"what's happening to me? Who's Jessie?"_. It appeared I'd have to drink the night away in order to forget…as usual.

* * *

We walked down the deserted street, our bodies swaying slightly with every step and I giggled slightly as my vision became blurred in a flash "you ok?" Reno asked, sliding his hand around my waist in order to steady me " yes" I slurred and Reno laughed "Reno, are you sure you didn't put _anything_ else in that last drink you bought me…cuz'…I'm not usually _this_ bad…"

"Why would I do that?" Reno replied playfully, his grip on me tightening so I came to an abrupt halt facing him "I don't know…you're a Turk…your mind works in _strange_ ways remember?" I replied, my eyes widening every so often and voice becoming higher and higher "you're a Turk too y'know" he murmured pulling me closer to him, I giggled again and wriggled my way out of his grasp before stumbling a little further down the stretch of path "your bad" I sniggered, my back to him

"Bad?"

"If Tseng finds out you've been harassing me like this, he wont be a happy man" I laughed in a sing-song voice, wagging my index finger at him. Reno slid up next to me and leaned in "what Tseng don't know, won't hurt him" he muttered and a chill squirmed it's way down my spine like an electric shock. Reno's hand had somehow found it's way to my thigh and was climbing, slowly tracing the outline of my hip. My breathing quickened as his lips became dangerously close to mine, the smell of alcohol and cigarettes mixing together between us. His other hand found the small of my back and I gasped as I was suddenly pressed up against him. I automatically turned my head away from him and my eyes became fixed on his hand that was still gently grazing my side "Reno, maybe we shouldn't do thi-", the lustful red head turned my head back towards him again, his fingers now tracing my cheek bones and I let out a slight groan. Whether it was the alcohol or my own desire, I let myself go limp in Reno's arms much to his satisfaction. He smiled his lustful grin and brushed his lips against mine gently, holding us in that position for a while. The kiss wasn't exactly intimate or passionate, in fact it was quite messy, we were both intoxicated with alcohol and each other so despite our best efforts to keep it as perfect as possible we nearly ended up on the floor. I tore myself away from him, soberness suddenly kicking in along with panic "Reno…" I mumbled, the feeling of his lips still tingling on mine. Reno swallowed, looking like a deer caught in the headlights

"I-ugh" he started, bringing one of his fingers to his lips

"We're…we're-Turks…Reno-Turks! We can't-" I tried in between breaths "no matter how much we want to-"

"You want to?" he muttered which caught me off guard slightly. Reno smirked with triumph as he slowly drifted towards me "because…I know _I _do" he finished, cupping my cheek with his hand. His thumb ran across my bottom lip causing me to shudder "I-…we…Reno…" I whispered in a weak attempt to reason with him. I couldn't explain it, we shouldn't, it was wrong but it felt right to be in his arms. Reno's hair danced slightly in the tuneful wind as it carried the soft melodies of the city, it suited the mood. I gazed at him, unable to talk and hardly able to breath as he leaned in towards me again, his thumb still gently caressing my bottom lip. Suddenly, all panic and restraint disappeared and I forced our lips together again rather roughly, causing Reno to jump slightly in shock. Soon enough, however, he got back into the swing of things. His hand left my face and travelled round to the small of my back to join his other hand, his fingers dug underneath my shirt and I sighed gratefully at the sudden contact. That was it. I was his and he was mine. I wasn't going to be just another notch in his bedpost, Gods know that I would never let him get away with it. My fellow Turk took me by surprise as he bit down on my bottom lip forcing me to give him dominance in this defining moment. I groaned as I felt his tongue brush against mine, jeez how the hell did I ever live without this? I tugged at his hair gently making him moan and he tore himself away from me much to my dissatisfaction "we need…more _privacy_" he said breathlessly.

* * *

It wasn't as if we could go back to the house…the others might have…_heard_ us. We ended up checking into a rough looking motel and the guy who owned it was no exception to this description. He had eyed us carefully as we got the keys to our room but made no remarks thankfully and the rest, as they say, is history.

I looked over at the sleeping man beside me, he looked so peaceful in his sleep, as if the horrors of this world and the sins he committed nearly every day did not bother him one bit. I raised my hand and traced his shoulder blade with my finger, his skin was so pale but felt so smooth. The night before was incredible, so amazing that I had been wondering why we hadn't done it before ever since! I continued to stare at his shoulder until I realised there were scratches and scars everywhere, I hadn't noticed them before. One caught my attention more so, it ran down his spine and was still quite red, was it new? I ran my finger down it and up again gently in the hope of not waking him but to no avail. Reno's eyes shot open with force and grabbed my hand swiftly, I gasped slightly at his sudden movement "sorry" I mumbled but Reno smirked

"It's alright" he replied, leaning in to kiss me "it's still a little sore" he chuckled. I smiled weakly at him and ran my hand up and down his torso "How did you get it?"

"Rebels…bastard had a sword the size of a frigging shovel" he explained, laying on his back. There was a moment of silence, I wondered what he would do next. Would he leave and not speak to me? Surely not, we see each other everyday and Reno loved his job too much to give it up because of a woman "what'cha thinking about?" he asked, I glanced up at him to find him staring intently at me

"Last night" I lied with a smirk, Reno laughed and sat up

"Fucking hell that was good…" he mumbled, rubbing his temple harshly. I didn't reply, of course it was but I still wanted to know what would happen next. Reno noticed my silence and it unsettled him "did you not enjoy it?" he asked worriedly, I smirked

"Of course I did…"

"But?" he pushed, turning directly to face me and blocking the sunlight that was piercing through the curtains. Should I share my worry with him? "Reno…I…forget it. The others are probably wondering where we are…we should head back" I finished, turning my back to him in an attempt to get out of bed but Reno's hand on my shoulder stopped me "Teya?", silence, I just wished he would stop. Suddenly I felt his face near mine "Teya…" he breathed into my ear before kissing my neck causing me to groan "lay down" he mumbled to me and I happily complied as he climbed over me "whatever it is" he started as he began to nip at my shoulder "forget about it for a while" he continued as he began to travel lower "and just enjoy it" he finished, finally getting to my navel which caused me to squirm underneath him. I heard him chuckle to himself "eager are we?" he teased as his lips lingered just above the place I wanted them to be

"Just shut up and get on with it already" I practically begged. Reno chuckled once more before he finally got down to buisiness.

**A/N: FINALLY! Get out the streamers people, I'm about half way through the fic! Now this really will be the last chapter for a couple more weeks. Please forgive me if you were expecting a little more M than this but I really havent got the guts to write it. Believe me, if I had then it would have been awful so sorry about that. Anyway, thanks for reading and a review would also be nice! :)**


	17. Death Bed Pt 1

Sorry for the wait, lot's of things have been going on but i'm most definatley motivated now! Enjoy!

* * *

The boat rocked silently as it smoothly passed through calm waters. It was funny how fast time passed when you were enjoying yourself, one moment it seemed that we were just arriving and now here we were, leaving again. Back to a polluted, vermin infested city with no day or night. The thought of retuning alone made me feel sick, returning to work…returning to Shin-ra… "Hey" said a voice from behind me, thin arms were suddenly slid around my waist tightly "Reno, Tseng could see" I warned, loosening his arms from me. I stepped away from him and continued to stare out to the horizon but I should have known that Reno was never really one to quit "let him see" he replied, once again sliding his arms around me "Reno!" I snapped "cut it out!", Reno stepped away from me

"What's wrong with _you_?"

"We could lose our jobs Reno…or worse" I explained, Reno snorted and leant on the railing in front of him "Lose our jobs? That's what's important to you?"

"Reno, look…it's been fun. I don't remember the last time I've been this…ugh…happy but…"

"Oh fuck this Teya!"

"Huh?"

"I'm sick of this!" Reno began, throwing his hands in the air "look, I get it. We _could_ lose our jobs or, as you so dramatically put it, worse" he paused, his angry expression fading slightly "but surely it's worth it…or something like that…" he finished, mumbling. He looked terribly uncomfortable and for a moment I felt like laughing. I never expected Reno of all people to come out with such a statement. I wanted to smile at him, truly I did, but I just couldn't bear to. Silence drifted over us and it wasn't long before I heard Reno's shoes pummelling the ground as he walked away. Alone again…well, figuratively speaking _"stupid girl" _

"Oh, piss off"

"_Ha, ha, ha…don't blame me for __**your**__ mistakes child" _

"Mistake?"

"_That man means nothing to us, why not just dispose of him". _I said nothing. For some time now she had been trying to convince me that Reno was not worth all the trouble and he would be nothing but a distraction to me but I disagreed…for reasons that I couldn't quite put into words. Anyway, she wasn't what I would call "happy" about the sudden development in my relationship with Reno. But what did that matter? Since when did I care for her opinion? I let out a huge sigh and let me head fall ever so slightly, it was all such a mess. Part of me just wanted to jump over the side of the boat and be done with it but even _that_ wasn't an option to me anymore thanks to _her_ "well, well, well…look who it is!" said a chirpy voice behind me, I turned to see none other than Sam, the mystery guy from the bar, approaching me with a mischievous grin plastered across his thin face. He strode towards me confidently and I smirked in response "well, actually" he continued, stopping in front of me "I have no idea who you are as you never actually told me your name"

"What's in a name?" I counterd quietly

"True I guess, Shin-ra probably own that too" he joked, I glanced up at him quickly but he was softly staring out to the horizon "what are you doing here Sam?"

"Same as you, travelling home"

"I don't mean that. I mean what are you doing here, talking to me". Sam frowned and shrugged

"You looked a little…down so I thought I'd come over and liven up the atmosphere" he grinned, I smirked again and stood up straight "whilst I appreciate your concern I'm fi-"

"Fine? Oh, please! Your face is as sour as a lemon. Did that guy you were talking to upset you?"

"Guy?"

"Yeah the one with the spiky red hair"

"Oh, no. I think I upset him to be honest…" I pondered, drifting off ever so slightly at the thought of Reno upset. There was a pause and Sam watched me carefully as I became lost in thought "walk with me" he finally said, bringing me out of my small trance.

* * *

We walked up and down the boat for hours, just talking. Nothing too personal or uncomfortable, just general chatter which was perfect for me. Although, I had taken a sudden interest in Sam's deceased brother whom he seemed to admire with great intensity. As much as Sam spoke about him, not once did he reveal how he died and I knew better than to ask.

For the fifth or sixth, I had lost count at this point, we came to the back of the boat. It was darker now and a cold wind started to blow the waves into an uproar against the boat. Storm clouds hovered above that covered the sunlight and rain slowly began to fall. The few people that were also on deck hurried below to take shelter from the cold but Sam seemed intent on staying outside "ah, don't you just love the rain?" he laughed as the sky seemed to cry harder, I stepped closer to him as droplets ran through my hair and onto my uniform "Sam?" I mumbled as I watched him practically dance in the now pouring rain. His once spiky hair was now slapped against his face, soaked through, as were his clothes "well, don't you just love it?" he asked again, laughing as his white shirt became see-through

"Sam we should go inside, the storm's really starting to kic-"

"See I would have thought…" he yelled over the now roaring wind "I would have thought you loved the rain!" he finished, waving his arms about ludicrously. His peaceful, fun loving expression changed into something that made me feel incredibly uncomfortable…and vulnerable "because it washes away _all _of your sins, _all_ of the blood on your hands Teya Barlow". Shit! That was the only thought running through my head. Instantly I turned away and began to walk in the other direction, so he knew who I was, so he knew I was a Turk, it didn't matter anymore. The rain still poured as hard as it possibly could and I was desperate to get away from Sam as quickly as possible "so that's it? You think problems will just go away by turning away from them…heh, sorry love but life isn't like that!", suddenly I felt a sharp pain in the back of my head and I fell to the ground. My hair fell in front of my face and I tried ever so hard to breath properly, adrenaline coursed through me but I didn't have the strength to move. Sam's footsteps forced me to turn so I could face him, he stood in front of me with a sadistic smile "who-who are you?" I managed to get out, the pain at the back of my head still throbbing and aching to a point where I could barely think _"get up" _she cooed, but I couldn't, I didn't have the strength _"get up!" _but it was no use, I just couldn't do it "my name is Sam Lorton"

"Lorton?" I mumbled, scrambling to try and hoist myself up

"That's right" Sam replied proudly, I managed to get to my knees but that was as far as I would get. Sam suddenly pressed something cold and metal against my head, and it didn't take a genius to work out what it was "don't do this Sam" I muttered but it only made him howl with laughter

"Are you actually fucking with me? "Don't _do _this Sam"" he bellowed, laughing again "if I had known it would be this easy to kill a Turk, I would have done it the night I met you, in front of the whole damn club!". I gritted my teeth and just waited for the moment when he'd pull the trigger but nothing came causing me to glance up at him. He just stared at me, with a gaze filled with hatred and sadness "I was there y'know…when you killed Michael. He told me to hide, I guess he just wanted to protect his little brother, so I ran to the back of the room and hid behind some crates, you stupid Turks didn't even think to look there. After you…murdered him, I spent every waking moment trying to track you down and now I have you, and I can make you feel exactly how I felt" he pushed the gun harder against my forehead making me close my eyes with gritted teeth "if your going to do it, then **just do it**!" I yelled "don't piss around"

"And why did you do it?"

"What?"

"**Why did you do it!**"

"Why did I kill your brother?"

"Yes! And I don't want any of this "oh he was commiting a crime again Shin-ra" bullshit, I want the real reason"

"Because…"

"Hmm?"

"Because, it's my job!" I spat "…because it's…my…job?"

"That's right" he began, cocking the hammer back "because it's your job". Suddenly time stood still, I could hear my own heartbeat, feel it thumping away in my chest and my breathing quickend at an alarming rate. Was I scared to die? Is that what it was? Who knows, all I knew then was that I just wanted it over, quickly. I heard Sam's finger tighten on the trigger and I waited…but the pain never came, the _relief _never came. I creaked open my eyes to find Sam on the floor surrounded in blood "huh?" I gasped, falling on my back. I let out a huge number of desperate breaths, as I stared up at the dark, clouded sky. The rain trickled down my face and in my mouth as I panted, I didn't hear a gunshot…so how- "Teya" Rude spoke, helping me to my feet but I merely slumped into him "your okay" he mumbled, sliding his arm around my waist in order to steady me. At first I tried to fight him but gave in quickly, I had no energy in me "who was that guy?" Rude asked, practically dragging me towards the cabin door "Sam Lorton" I replied weakly, the wound on the back of my head was now starting to hurt badly "Rude, I don't feel so…good…" I muttered, Rude stopped and stared at me for a moment or two. Blood seemed to rush to my head and my entire body felt numb, I could barely see Rude or feel his strong grasp on my waist "Teya…stay with me Teya!" Rude said with slight urgency but it was no use "_go to sleep"_. Everything faded to black.

* * *

"Some people say that when your put into situations like that, you start thinking about your loved ones. Memories that mean the most. Regrets…"

"Is that what you did?" Dr Stewart asked, pen at the ready above his notepad. I thought for a moment, did I? "I…tried…" I started

"Tried? How do you mean tried?"

"I…I-hmmm. My fake parents, the one's she created for me, I tried to think about them. Their faces, their names and any childhood memory that came with them but…nothing. They didn't have faces, names and I couldn't think of a happy memory of them. Heck, I couldn't even think of my childhood home! It was all just blank"

"Did you ever visualize your actual parents?"

"No" I said quickly and bluntly

"You seem pretty sure of that"

"That's because I remember the first time I pictured them again. Scared the shit out of me at first" I scoffed "it was quite soon after that"

"Well, we'll come to that later. How did you feel, what were you thinking about when you realised you couldn't think about your loved ones?"

"I was thinking about…about Sam and the things he was saying…about me…murdering his brother"

"You classed it as murder after that?"

"Yes"

"Why?"

"Because he was right. I thought I killed Michael to save Reno but…I did it because…"

"You wanted to do it" he finished solemly. I sighed heavily and let myself slump over in my chair "maybe we should stop for today, we got through a lot" he suggested. I wanted to protest but I couldn't deny that I was feeling suddenly exhausted and drained from recounting the memories "your parents are waiting to see me today, aren't they?", I nodded

"What are you going to tell them?" I asked, looking at him almost pleadingly but he merely shook his head "fine" I mumbled and stood to leave. At this point, I did begin to wonder if Dr Stewart believed me, after all he seemed to be fairly interested in my story. What was I saying? Of course he didn't believe me! He thinks I'm just some nutter whose come into his office screaming about black holes, assasins and magic! My parents were waiting outside, both of them looked exhausted, large black bags had formed under their eyes and their pale skin look dry and ever so slightly green. They hadn't slept well ever since my return, worrying that I would vanish again no doubt. I nodded briefly to them and they walked quickly passed me into Dr Stewarts room. I could do nothing but wait as they talked but curiosity got the better of me. I placed my head up against the door as quietly as I could and tried to make out any voices, at first it was difficult and I couldn't make out the small details but eventually I got what I wanted "I feel that Teya is suffering from parinoid schizophrania, it is not _that_ uncommon. I think this because she has described hallucinations, visual and auditory. She is also suffering from severe depression though I would assume that anyone in Teya's case would presumably be feeling the same", I heard my parents sigh

"And your sure about this?" my father asked, his voice shaking ever so slightly. There was a pause…Dr Stewart was…hesitating? "To the best of my knowledge, I believe that this is what Teya is suffering from…"

"Well, that's that" my mother spoke "what does she need to take?"

"Please, Miss, allow me to finish if you would. Yes, I do think this is the most likely answer to Teya's story _however_…there are elements that even I am still unsure of. I cannot immediately put Teya on the correct medication if she doesn't need it"

"What do you mean "elements that your still unsure of"?"

"Teya's story is…captivating to say the least and she relay's it with such deatil…! It really is quite disturbing when one thinks about it"

"What story? What has she told you?" my father asked, his voice louder and harsher than usual

"I'm sorry Mr Barlow but I cannot disclose that information…but I would still like to work with Teya. When she comes to the end of her story I'll diagnose her officially for you and you _**will**_ be made aware of things".

That night, for the first time in a long time, I dreamt.

* * *

When I came to I was laying in an unfamiliar room, I sat up hesitantly at first to get a look at my surroundings. The room was large, much larger than my room at the inn, that was the first thing I noticed. It's modern looking walls were covered in a white paint, an _expensive_ looking white paint, I grimaced at it instinctively and continued to look around. The brown coloured drapes hung loosely either side of a window opposite me and a bright light shone through causing me to wince. Where was I? I sighed and rubbed my temple gently, there was a desk next to the large, comfortable bed I was laid on and ontop of the desk layed a vase of flowers as well as a note. At first I ignored it, glancing at an empty bookshelf in the corner of the room, trying to remember what happened clearly but everything was still fuzzy. I passed out, I remembered that much and…Sam…he…I stood up shakily, picking up the note that sat on the desk.

_Teya, _

_Hope your feeling alright. We were all __**so**__ worried about you! We should have realised that Lorton had a younger brother, it's our fault, but what's doen is done and you came out of it pretty much unscathed. That's the main thing! _

_Anyway, your probably wondering where the hell you are, well Shin-ra have to decided to let you have this apartment. It__'s not common for something like that to happen…so I expect Rufus had something to do with it! Speaking of Rufus…well, we'll tell you when you get back into work, we won't you all rested up so you can get straight back to it! Stay in touch! _

_Shuriken _

_P.S Hope you like the flowers, they were a pain in the ass to get!_

I glanced at the white and yellow lillies that were carefully placed in a turqoise vase next to the letter and smiled slightly, everyone knew you couldn't get flowers anywhere in Midgar! _"How thoughtful…"_ she mused and my smile faded at the sound of her whispered voice _"so the Shin-ra have given you this abode? How charming!"_, I placed the letter down and glanced around the open room once more. It was fairly quaint and obviously well kept. It looked at if it had seen better days though, I didn't even want to think about what had happened to the previous owner. I seemed to get lost in the room and momentarily forgot about the other content held within the letter _"Rufus, read the part about Rufus again…"_

"Expect Rufus to have something to do with it…speaking of Rufus…we'll tell you…when you get back?" I recited, frowning "Rufus…?" It was true I hadn't seen much of him lately, was he alright? Strangley I found myself worrying about him, had he got into some sort of trouble? _"Go and find out!" _

"Why does Rufus's well being matter to you?" I snapped, staring out of the window nearest to me. I gazed out on to the busy streets of Midgar, however these streets were far different to the ones of the slums. It was cleaner, the people were finely dressed and the air I breathed was less foul. I was on the plate, Shin-ra had moved me to the plate but why? Had Rufus had something to do with it or was there another reason? I was probably thinking far too much into things as usual but still my curiosity seemed to loom above me so I took it upon myself to find out.

I quickly dressed, throwing on my uniform which had been hung up neatly in an old fashioned wardrobe, and made my way down a small flight of steps, taking care not to trip. The lower floor of the apartment was also very flattering, it had a very "proper" manner. Again the walls were pure white with intimate finishings on every corner of the room. There wasn't much furniture, merely a table, a set of chairs and a television in the corner and I hadn't time to look in the kitchen or bathroom. A silver key hung delicately off of a nail embedded into the wall by the door and I smirked slightly, my best guess would have been Reno. I could just picture him now trying to hammer in the nail, I half expect he just got Rude to punch it in the end. I swiftly grabbed the key and marched out of the door, locking it behind me _"time to go to work"_.

I no longer needed to catch a train to work, which was a slight relief however a part of me missed the hussle and bussle of the train in the mornings. It felt nice to think that there were others who felt just as shit as I did going into work every day. I quickly strolled through the doors to the Shin-ra building and showed the receptionist my badge in a quick flash.

The corridors were quiet, every person I passed seemed to be working harder and tenser than usual and it disturbed me slightly. I had become accustomed to people giving me frightened glances but never this intense, something had happened, that much was obvious. It seemed as if I were to glance at someone they were shy away immediately, with a great amount of fear in their eyes _"curious…"._

I came to the Turks floor and a wave of nerves suddenly flooded me, why though? As I approached the door I became increasingly aware of the fact that I was about to get bombarded with questions about Sam which I didn't feel up to answering at 10 o'clock in the morning to be quite honest, but it had to be done so with a great deal of force I pushed open the door and stepped silently into the room where I found some obviously surprised fellow commorades. Each of them stared at me with a small amount of shock, even Tseng who I had obviously just interrupted as his mouth was ever so slightly open "Teya!" Shuriken was the first to speak, she grinned at me with glee and yet the smile did not seem to reach her eyes… "it's so good to have you back!" she continued, embracing me farily tightly

"Thanks" I muttered, nodding in response. I half expected Reno to speak next but he never did, I glanced wryly at him in surprise but I knew that we would speak later, either way he did look happy to see me…if not a little…anxious? Rude, as usual, kept his silence up but nodded at me curtly as a greeting to which I did the same, however Tseng was obviously in no mood for general greetings

"What happened on the boat? What connection does Sam have to Lorton?"

"Sam is…_was_ Michael Lorton's brother, he wanted revenge that's all…" I mumbled, trying not to relay the events on the boat "did he give any indication that there are any more Lorton's? Lorton's that will come looking for _more _blood?" he asked almost irritably, Tseng looked at me with dissapointment and anger and I knew why _"put him in his place" _

"Look, I did my job…we all did! We put a stop to the materia trade, killed his lackeys and I-I…I killed Lorton! And now Sam's dead too, so will just stop looking at me like that for **one fucking minute!**" I seethed, heavily panting after my small rant. The room was silent, each Turk waited for their leader's answer which I expected to be a form of severe punishment, it was no matter, I'd take it but Tseng scoffed slightly "Miss Barlow may I remind you of your position in the Turks" he stated simply and walked towards the door, stopping at my shoulder as he went "don't think for one moment that your getting away with that, you come to my office later and we'll discuss your current behaviour" he mumbled and walked out of the door. The other's let out large sighs

"You were fucking _lucky_ then you crazy bitch!" Reno laughed, placing his feet up on the desk and lounging lazily in his chair "I thought Tseng would have flipped!" Shuriken started, staring at the door that Tseng had just slammed shut "…still, he probably has other things on his mind…what with Rufus and all…"

"…." Rude's head lifted slightly, as did mine. The mention of Rufus caused something to spark in my mind and I instantly jumped to attention "yes! About Rufus…" out of the corner of my eye I saw Reno frown slightly "what the hell's going on? The whole buildings acting weird!". The other's hesitated and for a moment I feared the worst "whilst you were out…Rufus he…he's been arrested…" Shuriken stuttered "Arrested…what for?"

"He tried to have his father assassinated…again" Reno piped up rather gravely, I gasped quietly and processed the information before attempting to speaking again "well…wha-…who…why?"

"God knows but he won't be doing anymore plotting where he is…" Reno chimed, sounding more gleeful "where has he been taken?" I asked, not really sure that I wanted to know the answer

"He's under house arrest in Junon…for life".

* * *

Okay i'm seriously not happy with this chapter. I think i'm making Reno a little OOC and Teya is turning into a bit of a Mary Sue which is not my intention at all. If i am, please do inform me! This "Death Bed" chapter won't be as big as the "Vacation" one, i think it'll be in two parts maybe three. Anyway, i'd love to hear from people, thoughts, comments, improvments anything and everything really! Until next time folks!


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